File #16695: "Eben M. Rice 1863 Diary.pdf"

Text

THE WRITINGS
OF
REVEREND EBEN MUIR RICE ©
REV. EBEN MUIR RICE
1863
DIARY
BOOK TWO
Jan. 1/1863
to
Dec 31/ 1863

Beverly Campbell
28 Greenhalf Dr.
Ajax, On.
L1S 7N6
905-391-2893

Rice/Campbell

1863

1

January 1/1863
New Year’s Day. The first day of a year in all probability fraught with sorrow to many a family
now full of happiness. Judging from present appearances it is likely to be a year of sorrow to
me. My prospects in returning to school are very dark, and my prospects in regard to M.A. are
also dark. How mournful the contrast between last New Year’s Day and this. Then, all was joy,
and everything appeared bright and pleasant. Now all is sorrow and everything is dark and
gloomy. Then M.A. was strong and healthy, but now she is weak and sickly. She says herself
that she never expects to see another New Year, and I don’t know but she is right. She seems to
be failing fast, and looks bad, very bad. She says she has such a curious feeling inside as makes
her sure that her time is not long on this earth. Dear girl, she is more fit for heaven than earth.
Unless I feel better towards her than I have done, it would be better to let her go now, than to
have to learn the truth that I was growing cold in my love. God forgive me for my actions, and
above all for my thoughts and feelings. Who would have thought three months ago that such a
change would come over me. Who would have supposed that any girl could have such a magic
influence as Eliza Bland has over me. I thought that it had died out long ago, but it has returned
with increased violence. It is strange that no ideas of impossibility or even justice can quell it.
Though I suspect that she and Rolly are engaged, or at least that she loves him, though I think
that she can’t care for me at all except as a friend, though I know that I am bound by ties of love
and honour to a worthy girl, yet I cannot free myself from my thralldom. Well it is that Eliza
does not suspect her power, or it might plunge more than one in life-long misery. I love M.A.
dearly and would lay down my life for her, and yet when in Eliza’s presence I forget her
completely.

Rice/Campbell

2

Jan. 1, 1863 Cont.
God help me so that I may never bring sorrow upon the innocent and disgrace upon myself by
my actions. Would to God that my mind might become settled again. Mary Ann’s suspicions
and grumblings coming upon me while in such a state of mind, have almost alienated my
affections from her. But I must and will love her. As she told Read, “A three year engagement is
not so easily broken,” and I must make the best of it. She is worthy of my love. O God, help me
to love her as I once did. Help me to devote myself to her, as long as she lives. If she is destined
to live to be my wife, may I make her life happy; and if she is doomed to die in a few months,
Oh help me to cheer her declining days so that no sorrow may come upon her on my account.
Oh God – if it be best for the happiness of all, alienate her affection from me and place them on
Young Read, so that she may have one who can love her more sincerely and tenderly than I will.
My prospects in regard to coming back to school are very poor. Things seem to show that Aunt
Tenie is angry at me, and means to keep back the money which I have received from Montreal.
If such is the case I will have only ten dollars a month to depend upon to pay about fourteen
dollars a month. This would run me into debt fast. I am now about eight dollars in debt, but
Aunt Tenie owes me eight dollars, and Aunt Lizzie two. I expect to go down to Brantford
tomorrow and I will see what can be done. I will have to walk most of the way, as I have no
money to take me down. I do not wish to leave school for a year for it will throw me so far
behind. But I must trust in Providence, and leave all to God’s disposal.

Rice /Campbell

3

Jan. 1/1863
Evening
Half past eleven p.m. After dinner I took a walk down to the new bridge across the river, and
then went up to Cox’s. Found Mary Ann, Read and Willis there. We had a good time reading,
talking, and cutting up. Willis is a bit of a phrenologist and examined our heads. He did it pretty
accurately. About six Miss Spinks and her beau, came in and stopped to tea. We had tea at
seven, and then kept up our fun till after eleven when we were all dispersed and came home. I
got very little chance to talk to Mary Ann. Told her I was going to Brantford tomorrow, and
received her messages for folks in Hamilton. I have spent a happy pleasant New Year’s and I
hope that it may be but the prelude to a pleasant happy year. God grant that Mary Ann and I may
have a quiet peaceable life of it, and if permitted to see the beginning of another year, may we
enter upon it with warmer love for each other than at present. I see that Reid has at last prevailed
upon her to let him have her likeness. I think it is a very good likeness, though not as good as the
one I have. God bless the girl. I am going to struggle to banish all thoughts of another and to
love her and her alone. She is worthy of the love of a better, nobler man than I will ever be.
Jan 2nd 1863 No letter having arrived yet, I started for B. at eight o’clock. Having no money I
footed it. I went by way of Princeton, but struck off from there, intending to go on to the old
plank road. I got about two miles ride in the whole road and reached B. about four o’clock. I
was very tired and foot-sore. Three years ago today Richards and I had a walk of about twenty
miles, and sat up all night with Mrs. Feast.

RICE/Campbell

4

Jan 3rd
I did not go into town all day for I felt too tired in the morning, and it rained in the afternoon.
Read Sir Walter Scott’s “Lady of the Lake.” Aunt Lizzie gave me a very nice Photographic
Album holding twenty four photographs.
Jan. 4th
Attended the Baptist Chapel both times. Aunt Lizzie went with me in the evening. I saw Miss
Urquhart and Miss Brown, also Reuben S. and Charley Hale.
Jan 5
Aunt Lizzie gave me a dollar and I went into town and paid Reuben S. the dollar I owed him. I
saw his sister and had a long talk with her. Then I went down to the store, and on my way
bought some crackers and cheese. As I was strapping up my carpet-bag before starting out to
foot it, Uncle Andrew gave me a scolding for thinking of walking and offered to take me to Paris
and pay my way to H. I could not get out of it, though I did not like to accept it. Went in to see
Mathison and staid till half past twelve, thinking that Uncle would be off home by then, but I was
sold in that for he did not go to dinner till two o’clock. Sent away papers to Mary Ann and Eliza
& Mary Bland. Went over home and had dinner, and started for Paris at three o’clock. It was
very muddy and I got my coat almost spoilt. Uncle drove me out, and took Herbert along. He
gave me a dollar to pay my passage. At the depot I met Elder Patton and C.J. Shrimpton who
were going to St. George to a Missionary Meeting. We rode together to Harrisburg, and from
there I rode with Mr. McCallum to H. Uncle and all the folks were much surprised to see me.

Rice/Campbell

5

Jan. 6/ 1863
Went down to Richards in the morning and then went up to the store. After dinner I went up to
see Bella and Grace, staid awhile and then went to see Glick. Met Yule in the street, he has just
come down from Mont’s and is going to Toronto tomorrow. Showed him the way to Parson’s
store. After five Richards called for me, and I went down to tea with him. After tea we
measured heights and I only stand five feet six and a half. John is more than an inch shorter and
Wm. is two inches taller. Wm. and I exchanged photographs, and I got a better one of John in
place of the one I had of him. After tea, John and I set out to see Bella, but on the way we went
into Brown’s and found Yule and McArthur. We stayed till about eight o’clock and then went up
to see Bella, but she and Grace had gone out, so we went for a walk. On King St. we saw Miss
B. and Mr Cox walking arm in arm and we watched them into the Wesley College. Our walk
was continued till nearly ten o’clock. I agreed to go over to tea on Thursday night, and then go
and see his girl.
Jan 7th
Wrote to Mary Ann. Spent the day in traveling around. In the afternoon I called on Miss Brown,
and sat for an hour or so. We had a good sociable chat, and plenty of fun mixed in. She
promised me her photograph. I spent the evening in the house reading and studying. Uncle E
and Aunt Anah went out to meeting and I was left alone.

Rice/Campbell

6

Jan 8/ 1863
Went up to the store, and painted my cane, got some ink and some (armica?) After dinner I went
to see Mrs. Bailey and found her as well and as fond of grumbling as ever. Of course she is
discontented and wishes to be somewhere else. After I left her I went to see Alick Lawson. Had
a long argument with Byrne about religious matters. About half past four I came home to clean
up a little, and then went down to Richard’s to tea. After tea we went up to Gurney’s and he
introduced me to his girl, and I think they might make an excellent match. After some delay we
started for the (mute ?) Society meeting which was held at Mrs. Ferguson’s (formerly Alma
Perry.) It was a very pleasant meeting. Miss Kitchen was there and I had some conversation
with her and also with Miss Brown. Uncle Eben & wife were there, and saw me cutting up.
Miss B. read part of her paper, and then I was called on for a piece. I gave them “The daughter
of Herodias.” Then McArthur spoke “Cassius speech against Caesar.” Miss Brown then read
the last part of her paper and McArthur spoke “Cowper on Pulpits.” We had a very fine time of
it. The meeting broke up about half past ten. I asked Miss Brown to allow me to see her home,
and she consented. We had a pleasant walk of it. At the Royal Hotel, Mac & Miss K left us and
went round by King St. We waited at the gate till they arrived. I was invited to dinner tomorrow,
but will not be able to go as I leave town in the morning. I was invited in but refused as it was
late, but Mac went in. John R. gave me a letter for M.A. and Wm. gave me a photograph for
Chave. I gave M.A.’s photograph to John as I intended to get a better. But, then strikes twelve
and I must away to bed.

Rice/Campbell/ 1863

7

Jan 9
Back again in Woodstock. This morning Uncle Eben gave me four dollars lacking a quarter, and
Aunt Anah gave me two dollars. Left H. for W. at nine o’clock. I rode in the cars as far as Paris,
and walked the rest of the way. I do not know when I left P. but I reached home about a quarter
past four. Saw Rolly and had a good talk with him. The folks were much surprised to see me for
the report had gone round that I was not coming back. After tea I went downtown, paid Carryer
for a quarter’s pew rent, bought a gallon of coal oil, and went to see Mary Ann. Mrs. Cox went
to the prayer meeting, and M.A. & I had a good talk together. She owns up to being jealous of
Eliza Bland, and God knows she had good reason to be, but God helping me, she shall have no
more occasion to be so. I must quit going out to Embro, or doing anything to rouse her
suspicions. I left her at nine o’clock and went up to see Chave and gave him Wm. Richards
photographs. Then I went to see Rolly and tried hard to get him to stay with me all night, but he
would not come. He was busily engaged upon a letter to some young lady, I suspect Eliza B.
After I came I employed myself in setting things to right. It snowed yesterday, not only in H. but
all along as far as W. and perhaps further. It snowed a little today, then turned into a drizzle, and
then cleared up.
Jan 10
No school today. I got my books which amount to $14.92 exclusive of the Hebrew Bible bought
last term, which being included makes the sum total sixteen dollars, twenty seven cents. The
following is a list of the books with the prices.

Rice/Campbell

8

Jan.10, 1863, Cont.
Gesenius Hebrew Lexicon $5.00, Gesenius Hebrew Grammar $2.12 ½ , Hebrew Bible, $1.35,
Greek Septuagint $2.62 ½, Robinson’s Harmony of the Gospels $1.25, John’s Biblical
archeology $2.25, Biblical Atlas $1.00, Butler’s Analogy 67 cents, total $16.27.
I paid Dr. Fyfe $2.92, being all the money I had and I owe him the sum of twelve dollars. I know
not who I am to pay all these and my board also, but I must trust in Providence to help me
through. Dr. Fyfe gave our classes and hours of recitation. My lessons and hours are, Hebrew
Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays from 8 ¾ to 9 ½, Butlers’ Analogy, same days 10 ½ to 11 ¼,
Biblical Atlas, Mondays and Fridays 2 ¾ to 3 ½, John’s Biblical Archeology on Wednesday 2 ¾
to 3 ½, Homer’s Odyssey, Tuesdays and Thursdays 8 ¾ to 9 ½, Harmony of the Gospels, same
days 9 ½ to 10 ¼. Went for Rolly and went downtown for something to cover my books. We
had a long talk. He feels the same in regard to his love affair, as ever, and I told him all I knew
about the subject, the girl and her feelings. I hope it may turn out alright yet. It snowed very
hard, but finally turned into rain, which lasted till afternoon. I spent the afternoon in covering
my books and talking to Rolly who came in. Lent him my “Moral Science.” Sold my Virgil to
Higgins, and threw in all the notes for half a dollar. Went to prayer meeting in the evening.
Jan 11/63
First Sabbath in Woodstock, Dr. preached both times and two excellent sermons. The morning
discourse was from Habakkuk III:2 “O Lord, receive thy work,” the evening discourse from
Luke XIII:34 “How often would I have gathered thy children together – and ye would not.”
Walked home with M.A. both times. Our afternoon Bible Class was a good one, and our evening

prayer meeting was first rate. Ross and Rolly are off to Beachville today.
Rice/Campbell

9

Jan.11/63, cont.
Rolly had a letter to send to a young lady where he has been preaching, and he did not wish the
folks to know where it came from. She had been converted under his preaching, but the folks
made a great talk about his visiting her, and he wished to conceal the fact that he was writing to
her. The letters are more “Christian” letters but they would make out that they were love
epistles. I agreed to send them to Richards for him to mail. I intended to write last night, but
was so sleepy that I could not, so I wrote this morning, and enclosed the other letter. I also sent
him a catalogue.
Jan 12th
Had my name enrolled on the list. It came forty seventh. There are about seventy five students
altogether. Recited Hebrew, and did pretty well, Butler, and had a good lesson, and in the
afternoon Biblical Atlas. The hour is changed to the last in the morning. Wilson has arrived, and
Hill also. Translated my first Greek for this term, and found it rather difficult. Sold my
Xenophon to Moore for fifty cents. Sold Chave one term on my scholarship. He paid four
dollars, and will pay the rest soon.
Jan 13th 63 Snowed and then rained; a miserable sickly day. Got two letters from Aunt Tenie
enclosing nineteen dollars, being payment from Nov 11th to Jan. 11th, and three dollars as a
present. From the character and tone of her letters, I believe that she did not mean to insult me in
her other letter, and I intend to offer an apology for my language. I do not feel at all well. I think
I must have got cold in my back for it is quite sore, and makes me almost unfit to study. Mabee
and Wilson are almost down sick too. We had a good prayer meeting. Rolly made a beautiful

prayer. Went down to see M.A. and had a long and pleasant talk with her.
Rice/Campbell

10

Jan. 14 /1863
Still raining. Paid Dr. Fyfe twelve dollars being the balance on my books. I have now to pay
Mrs. Gould, six dollars for last term’s board and I will be square with the world. Went to
Missionary Meeting in the evening. Mr. Beardsall, Mr. Stewart, Dr. Fyfe, and Mr. Ratcliff were
the speakers. I have one dollar fifty cents to collection.
Jan 15th
Paid Gould’s for my last term’s board. Our Oratorical Society met for the election of officers,
and elected McLaurin President, Coutts Vice P. and McArthur, Critic. Then we had speeches
from the outgoing officers, Ross, Killmaster, & McDonald, and also from the incoming officers.
Albright was called on for a speech and spoke in German, and old McDonald spoke in Gaelic.
Then I was called on and I spoke of the advantages of the Society and urged all members to take
a deep interest in it. I happened to exalt it above the Adelphian and Cunningham and Mont (the
two next speakers) gave me a going over for doing so. It commenced to snow in the afternoon
and kept it up just as if it were determined to give us sleighing.
Jan 16th Still snowing. It has snowed now for nearly twenty four hours and we have good
sleighing. Wilson went home this morning. He was unwell and got discouraged, so he started
for home. He left me a lot of apples which are indeed very acceptable. Ross is going out to
Embro tomorrow and wishes me to go, but I feel a little doubtful about it. Mary Ann is getting
so jealous that I hardly dare to go. Perhaps I may have to preach, but that I don’t care about, for
I will do my best, but I don’t like to rouse M.A.’s jealousy. Rolly is going I think. Received a
letter from Millie enclosing Grandma and Grandpa’s photographs.

Rice/Campbell

11

Jan 17th/ 1863
Last night after ten I went down to see M.A. but Read told me they had company so I would not
go in. I came home and studied till about nine, and then went to help Rolly with his Arithmetic.
I talked to him till half past eleven. He would not promise to go to Embro and I refused to go
unless he did, and so the matter ended. The Adelphian held its election last night and elected
Ratcliff President, Higgins, Vice, McPhail, Secretary, Alex McDonald, Critic, & John Woodruff,
Marshall.
This morning I went to see Rolly and found him apparently decided to go to Embro. He got
ready and then went downstairs to get something to eat, while I went to the Post Office and
thence to the train. Ross was there and feared that both would back out. The train being in sight
I got my ticket and just then Rolly came along. Some strange freak seized him for he suddenly
refused to go, and we were forced to leave without him. I felt quite vexed at him. Meeting
nobody at Beachville we started to foot it, but found at the first toll gate that Mr. Bland was
behind us. We kept on and by and by he overtook us, and we had a ride the rest of the way. The
folks were all well. Mary was in Ingersoll. I had a nice time but somehow did not feel just right.
We got to bed about twelve.
Jan. 19
Yesterday was a beautiful day, clear and cold. Ross and I walked into the Village in the morning
to hear Mr. McKenzie preach in Gaelic. He is an eloquent man, and I was pleased and interested
although I understood very few words. After church, who should we meet but Rolly who had
come up with Mr. Mathison on Saturday.

Rice/Campbell

12

Jan. 19/1863, Cont.
Though pleased to see him, I felt vexed at him for acting so. We all three went to Midgley’s and
spent a pleasant afternoon reading, talking, &c. We had a nice little prayer meeting of our own.
Ross preached in the evening to a crowded house. His sermon was on I Cor. XIV.8 “For if the
trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle?” It was a splendid
sermon. Our ride home was very pleasant. After prayers the old folks went to bed and about
eleven Ross and I went off leaving Rolly and Eliza to talk over old affairs and clear off old
scores. I can’t tell what time Rolly came to bed, but it was late. This morning we were up at
four and started from Blands at six. We were in Beachville in good time, and got to school
before roll call. Our lessons were got through with pretty easily, and we did not fall behind on
account of our trip. I went down to see M.A. this evening, but I found that she had an
engagement, so I did not stay long. I left Millie’s letter with her.
Jan 21
Yesterday, Robertson paid me the balance on his term scholarship. Today Wm McArthur paid.
McDiarmid left here today for home intending not to return. Received a letter from Aunt Tenie.
My head has ached very badly all day and I have not felt much like studying.
Jan 22
Wrote to Aunt Tenie. Went down to see Mary Ann, but she was out spending the evening. Our
Oratorical Society had a good meeting. I had to speak on “Astronomy.” I used up my five
minutes, but felt very much dissatisfied with myself.

Rice/Campbell

13

Jan 23rd
Wrote to Uncle George, enclosing twenty dollars to pay for his scholarship. Went up to see Mary
Ann for a few minutes this afternoon.
Jan 24
Wrote to Millie and enclosed a photograph for Grandma. Spent part of the afternoon talking to
Rolly. Our evening prayer meeting was good. Rolly and Northrup went up to Beachville to
preach.
Jan 25
A beautiful day, but rather sloppy. Went up to Beachville with Mr. & Mrs. Gould and heard
Northrup in the morning. He preached a very good sermon. In the afternoon I expected to hear
Rolly, but instead of him, I heard Dr. Ryerson of Simcoe. I was delighted with him. His text was
Matt XXXII: 35-40. He is a very eloquent man, and has great power of illustration. Rolly and I
started to walk home, till Gould’s folks caught up, and then we rode nearly into W. We had not
time to go home to tea, but went right up to church. My feet were very wet, so I pulled off my
stockings and put my boots on again. Dr. Fyfe preached a splendid sermon. After service I went
to prayer meeting and did not get home till nearly ten o’clock. My feet were wet all the time
from about three o’clock till nearly ten. Mrs. Gould prophesied that I will be down sick, but I am
not afraid. This Sabbath is the anniversary of my baptism. Four years ago the last Sabbath in
Jan. I was buried in the liquid grave, in invitation of my Lord and Master. Four years of mingled
joys and sorrow, four years of cold indifference, and holy zeal. God grant that the next four
years may be spent more in accordance with his will.

Rice/Campbell

14

Jan 26th
It rained all day. Rolly, McDiarmid, and I went to hear Mr. Stevenson’s lecture on “The Central
Force of Christianity.” He made it out to be “Love.” It was a splendid lecture, but full of big
words as usual.
Jan 27th
Received a letter from Uncle James enclosing three notes which he wishes me to collect. They
are against Mr. E.F. Gahm for $19.30, Mr. J.G. Carroll for $79.49, Mr. Wm. Dorgan for $5.00, in
all
one hundred and three dollars and seventy cents. Went to prayer meeting, and then went
down to see Mary Ann. As usual, I heard a long string of misdeeds said to have been committed
by myself, and of course, devoutly believed by M.A. This time the story varied. She said that
Mont did not tell Miss B. but another party did, and this other one she refused to name. Soon
Mrs. Cox went out and then she said that Mary B. had been at a party in a certain village, and
had met a young man who was well acquainted with me, and they began to compare notes. Mr.
B. was praising me up and told her that I was engaged, she said she knew it, and then he said
that he believed the lady was in Woodstock, and this she also knew. But she said that I never
intended to marry the young lady, for she was too delicate to go to Burmah. He was surprised
at this, and said that I had intended to get married in the spring, and he did not think I should
act in such a manner, and he would talk to me next time he saw me. Such is her great
accusation, and it is all moonshine. I knew the person, and place, though she refused to tell
either, and I will find out if such a conversation took place. I told her positively that I did not
believe that Mary B. said so for she never had any reason to think so.

Rice/Campbell
Jan. 27, 1863, Cont.

15

But still she believes that I said so, or at least gave the lady reason to think so. I guess Reid has
told her, as he seems to tell most of my evil deeds. Her jealousy is transferred now from the
former object to the latter. What a curious thing is woman: I declare I thought I knew Mary
Ann, but I find there is a great deal about her I do not know. I guess her love must be dying out
very fast, for she seems, and indeed says she is—perfectly careless. If we don’t take care, there
will be a flare up soon, for there seems to be everything ready to create an explosion. It is
a pity that we should get into such a state. But if she breaks the engagement I will not be first
to renew it. It is perhaps a just punishment that just as I am perceiving Eliza’s seduction
fascinating, and am striving to rescue myself from its influence, just as I am breaking my chains
of enchantment and coming back to my true allegiance that she should begin to turn against
me. Well, I deserve it, and cannot complain if I lose both. Honour, reason, sense and love tell
me to stick to M.A., but some wild fascination draws me away whenever in E’s presence.
Jan. 30th
On Wednesday, I called on Messrs. Gahm, Dorgan & Carroll. The two former promised to pay
on Saturday, the last told me to call tomorrow. On Thursday I called on Carroll again and he said
he would try and settle it soon. Dorgan called to me as I passed and promised to pay on Feb.
15th. He could not pay sooner as he had some other things to pay. In the evening I attended our
Oratorical Society, and then went down to see Mary Ann. She evidently did not wish to see me
for she had no fire in the other room although she knew that I was coming.

Rice/Campbell

16

Jan.30/1863, Cont.
I read in Godey’s Magazine for her and Mrs. Cox. I could not get any chance of talking to her
privately until just before I started for home. Then we had a short talk, but long enough to show
me that her love for me is fast dying out, and if this state of affairs lasts long it will cause a final
separation between us. Today I received a letter from Robert Kneeshaw, full of religious news
etc. I intended to go up to Ingersoll today, but unfortunately I made an engagement for
tomorrow before I thought of it, so that I cannot go. I am sorry, as I desired especially to go up
to spend tomorrow and Sabbath.
Jan 31st
Today we read our first skeletons to the Dr. Mine was on I Cor. II:2. “I determined not to know
anything among you save Jesus Christ and him crucified.” Rolly started at noon for Embro, Ross
went to Mount Elgin, Ratcliff to London, Torrence to Beachville, Higgins to Wellington Square,
Chesney to Bronte, Cameron was away on his own work. I called on Gahm and he said he
would settle on Tuesday. In the evening our Missionary Society met. Miss Lavinia Shearer read
the “Garland” which was very good. We expected a lecture from the Rev. Wm. Stephenson but
no lecturer was there. After singing a couple of pieces of music, it was proposed to hold a short
prayer meeting, and this was kept up till half past eight, when I started for the Post Office. On
my way back I met Willis and had a talk with him. It was nearly twelve before I got ready for
bed.

Rice/Campbell

17

Feb. 2nd
Yesterday I heard the Dr. preach a good sermon after which was Communion. Immediately after
dinner I started for Embro, although it was snowing and threatened to rain. At the toll gate they
would hardly let me past, although I said I was going to church. At last I got past with the
injunction to be sure and have the money as I passed back, or I would not get through. After
leaving Beachville I put one of the Buffalo Robes over me like a coat, and so I defied the rain
which fell almost all the way to Embro. I took the back road partly to escape the tolls, and partly
to explore the road. I found the sleighing pretty good in most places. Got to Embro in good
time; went to Midgley’s and got something to eat, and then went back to church. Rolly preached
a splendid sermon on Matt XXIII: 37. He spoke for more than an hour, but it hardly seemed half
as long. After service he said he would prefer to wait till morning, so I packed him and Eliza off
in the cutter, while I followed with the old folks. We sat talking till half past eleven when Mr. &
Mrs. B. went to bed and I soon followed, leaving Rolly and Eliza to talk by themselves. Mary is
at school in Ingersoll, or I should not have gone to bed so early.
I slept very little, and was awake at half past three, up at four, had breakfast, and started off at
six. We took the side lines till we reached the eleventh concession. And that brought us into
Woodstock where we arrived about eight. The sleighing was good, all but a few miles on the
eleventh. We were in plenty of time for school. My lessons passed off very well. Clark brought
me in the new revision of the Gospels which I agreed to take and pay the 35 cents afterwards.
This evening I went down to see M.A. and took it along and gave it to her. I also gave her the
manuscript of my essay on “The Church – Militant.”

Rice/Campbell

18

Feb. 2/1863, Cont.
Spent a rather pleasant evening. She seems to be in a better humor than before, and I think her
treatment of me different from what it was. I hope she may see the danger of her course ere it is
too late.
Feb 3rd
Wrote to Richards and enclosed a letter for Rolly. Asked John to get me four more photographs
and I would send the money. Went down town after dinner and got ten dollars from Gahm.
Wrote to Uncle James enclosing the money. Our prayer meeting was very good. Spent the
evening talking to Robinson about his adventures in slavery.*
Feb. 4th
Started to write my essay for Dr. Fyfe, but find it very hard work.
Feb 5th
Received a letter from Millie, also from Richards enclosing one to Mary Ann. Gould’s folks
started out with Ratcliff’s folks for Innerskip to Elder Gearrie’s donation party. It commenced to
snow pretty early and kept it up all day, so that at night, we had a good amount of snow.
Our Oratorical Society had a good meeting. I spoke on the debate on the “Negative of the
Question,” “Resolved that the African has more cause to complain of the white man than the
Indian has.” After meeting I went down to see Mary Ann and spent a moderately pleasant
evening.

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Feb 6/ 1863
Still snowing this morning and kept it up till afternoon. The snow was nearly impassable in
some places, but it will soon get beaten down. Gould’s folks did not get home till dinner time. I
heard this morning that Mrs. Alexander of Brantford is dead. Mr. A. started for Montreal on
Tuesday afternoon, and on Wednesday night at twelve she took sick and lived only two hours,
and twenty minutes. It seems so sudden that I can hardly believe it. Poor Mr. A. It will nearly
kill him. After dinner I went down and told Mrs. Cox, and she was much surprised. This
afternoon, I started to write my sermon for the Dr. and I have about two thirds of it finished.
It is on the text, “Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, and today and forever.” Heb. XIII: 8. I expect
to preach on the same subject at Embro a week from Sabbath. I intended to go up to Ingersoll
today, but did not on account of the deep snow, making it bad travelling. Gould’s folks are going
up and I will go I think. I must get my lessons up if I do. Attended the Adelphian tonight and
was well pleased.
Feb. 9
On Saturday I started with Gould’s folks for Ingersoll. They were going up to her fathers, and as
they were to pass through Ingersoll I went along. The first person I met in Ingersoll was Mary B.
After calling at Hawke’s and Kneeshaws I went up to Shells, but Ian not being in, I went down to
Mr. Bowers, where I stayed till after dinner. I heard some surprising news. Caroline Paine is
married and Mrs. Kneeshaw has another baby, a girl.

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20

Feb. 9/1863, Cont.
After dinner, I went down to Mrs. Douthwaite’s to call on M.B. Mary Douthwaite had the
Diphtheria, but not caring for that I spent a couple of hours chatting. I asked M.B. about the
reports I had heard, and the truth is something like this. M.B., M.P. & S.S. were out riding and
the conversation turned on me when he said he believed I was engaged to be married to a young
lady in H. now in W. She answered yes. He said he had heard that I was to be married soon.
She said, “She did not think the wedding would ever take place,” and on his asking if it was on
my account, she said that “the young lady was sickly and it was not likely that she would live.”
This was about all. I felt very cheap to have to say anything about it. After leaving I went up to
Shells, but Ian was not in. However I sat down to wait for him and lo and behold he went to
Douthwaites and heard it all told in such a way as to make him mad. When he came home we
had a talk about it, and after tea went down to Douthwaite’s visiting where we had a good time
till after nine. Went to bed about twelve and lay talking till about three.
I went to our church, and the elder wanted me to preach. I declined but promised to do so in two
weeks from that day. Went to Shells to dinner. Gave Ian my photograph and promised it to
Martha on condition of a fair exchange. After dinner Ian rigged up his cutter and we started for
Woodstock. On the road, called and got M.B. to accompany us. Had a pleasant ride and got to
W. time enough for tea. Our appearance in church (Miss Mabee went with us) created quite a
sensation. Some knew Sam and thought that they were two Ingersoll ladies. Others knew Miss
Bland and thought that I had been out to Embro.

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21

Feb.9/1863, Cont.
After church, Cunningham & Albright came into Gould’s and stayed for an hour or more. The
other students didn’t know where to call, or didn’t care enough to do so. Sam and M.B. got
started for home before ten.
Today we had no Hebrew, Stewart being away. I was glad of this as I had not studied my lesson.
My other two lessons passed off well enough. Our theology class numbered only three, Clarke,
Northrup & Rive; Fitch, Chesney, Cameron & Mont were away.
Evening
Received a letter from Annie. Went down to see M.A. and had a long and serious talk to her. I
think from appearances she will begin to feel and act differently after our conversation. She was
vexed that I did not see her home last night, but I explained matters.
Feb. 10th
Wrote to Annie. Did not take off my clothes last night, but just lay down on the bed and slept for
a couple of hours. Received a short note from Lis. It came in Rolly’s letter. Received a letter
from Uncle James, enclosing photographs of himself and Aunt Isabella. They are a very good
likeness. Finished my sermon for Dr. Fyfe.
Feb 11th
Stewart was sick, and we had no Hebrew lesson. Our other lessons were well recited. Spent the
afternoon in studying my sermon for Sunday. Had an accident with my lamp at night. Having
finished the Odyssey about eight o’clock I went downstairs for a time, and on return found the
lamp on fire.

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22

Feb. 11, 1863, Cont.
The flame had gotten into the place that is full of holes and was smoking dreadfully. I attempted
to put it out but could not, so I carried it downstairs into the snow, and there I managed to
smother it. It scented up my room in a most disagreeable manner.
Feb. 12th
Stewart being sick our Odyssey class had to hear itself. I spent about an hour trying to find out
something about Michael Argles picture of the “Last Judgement” in the Sistine Chapel at Rome,
but could find nothing to satisfy me. Wrote to Miss Brown enclosing several pieces original and
selected. Wrote to Uncle Eben and also to Lis.
Feb. 13th
Parsons went to H. and took my letter to Miss Brown. Uncle’s letter went through the Post
Office. Attended the Adelphian Society in the evening.

Ini and Midgley gave good orations,

Northrup had a fine Essay, and Chave had a good paper.
Feb 16th
On Sat. I handed in my sermon to Dr. Fyfe. Rolly refused to go out to Embro so Albright and
myself started. We had to walk all the way to Blands. There, we found Miss Annie Dent and
about four o’clock Deacon Carroll’s folks came in. They were on their way home from St.
Mary’s and the party consisted of Mr. & Mrs. C. and little boy, Miss Tate, and a Doctor’s wife
from St. Mary’s. It commenced to rain, and alas, they had to stay all night. Eliza gave me fits
for that sleigh-ride piece.

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23

Feb. 16, 1863, Cont.
Sabbath
Was a nice day. About ten I started into town to attend church. Albright would not come, so I
employed my time in studying up my sermon. Arrived at Midgley’s and found that service did
not commence till one o’clock. After dinner we went to hear Mr. McKenzie preach. I spent a
pleasant afternoon in Embro. Had several arguments with Midgley and enjoyed myself.
The Embro folks have decided not to have the students anymore until the minister’s salary was
paid. Mr. Leonard was the principal opponent of the students, and I gave him a talking to before
service. I had a crowded chapel, I suppose from 200 to 250, including the Kirk minister, Mr.
Miller. I did not know him, or I should have asked him into the pulpit. My text was “Jesus
Christ, the same yesterday and today and forever. Heb XIII: 8. I divided the subject into three
questions, “What was he? What is he? What will he be?” dwelling especially on the last. I had
no watch and could not time myself, but I believe Eliza timed me, and I spoke over an hour. My
hymns were 305 C.M. & 135 L.M. and I read Matt XIII: 24 to the end. I hope that my discourse
did some good, even to the conversion of one soul. We had a short prayer meeting after and then
Albright and I went to Midgley’s to stop all night.
Today opened bright and clear and we were up at half past five. As Midgley could not get a
team, we had to walk to Beachville. We accomplished the six miles in an hour and a half, and
got to Woodstock in time for our lessons. Stewart is better, and heard his classes today. Parsons
brought me a letter from Richards enclosing four photographs. Several of the students are down
sick, and they are afraid it is Typhoid Fever.

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24

Feb. 16, Cont.
Today, or rather tonight is the anniversary of my engagement. I went down to spend the evening
with M.A., but she was sick and had gone to bed, so I did not see her. Three years since we were
engaged although much joy and sorrow has this engagement caused us both. I wonder how
much longer it will be before it is consummated in marriage. Gould’s folks returned tonight.
Feb 17th
Called round to see Mary Ann and found her Uncle William and his wife. They gave me a
pressing invitation to visit them in Drumbo. I went out during today. Gahm asked me to call
about the first of March, Dorgan gave me an order on Fish who says he will pay on Monday. I
could not find Carroll at all. Here it is Tuesday afternoon and I have not even thought about my
sermon for Sabbath, and I have not got up my lessons for tomorrow yet.
Feb. 19th
Took a long walk after dinner, and thought over my sermon, but did not commit to paper. Our
Oratorical Society had a good meeting. Called down to see Mary Ann but could get no private
conversation with her.
Feb 23
On Friday (20th) I got excused from Saturday exercises so that I might go up to Ingersoll. Dr.
Fyfe came to meet me and wanted me to go up to Beachville to preach, but I got off from it.
After dinner I went down town and gave M.A. two letters to take to H. One to Richards of twelve
pages, and one to Miss. Brown containing, “Mother”, and a Sleigh ride.”

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25

Feb. 23
I left Cox’s at twenty minutes to two, and footed it to Ingersoll, reaching there by four o’clock.
Called on S.S., but as he was going away, I did not stay to tea. Went down to Mr. Bower’s, Elder
Beardsoll was there, and after tea I walked out home with him. Had a very pleasant time. I did
not get away from the Elders till after nine. ( Probably 9 a.m.) Called on Mr. Kneeshaw and Mr.
Hawkes, and then went to Bower’s to dinner. Shortly after two I called on M.B. Mary Bland?
And sat talking with herself and, cousin and aunt till nearly five, when I rose to go, but they
pressed me to stay to tea so I did so. M.D. went off just before tea and I sat talking to the folks
till about seven when I left for Mr. Bowers. I have promised to sent M.B. copies of “The
President’s Proclamation,” “Glory Hallelujah,” & “The Soldiers of the Potomac.” I staid at Mr.
Bowers all night.
M.D. (Prob. Mary Douthwaite)
Sabbath
Opened out quite stormy and I had a congregation of nine adults and four or five children. I had
not much time for preparation, as I only studied over my subject on Thursday & Friday while
walking and a little on Saturday. My text was Col. III: 36 “For ye are dead and your life is hid
with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him
in glory.” I read the 34th Psalm and gave out the 536, 576, 672nd hymns. I felt very much
dissatisfied with myself, and could hardly stand up to give out the last hymn. I spoke about
thirty-five minutes and felt miserable. Went to dinner with Mr. Bowers and at two o’clock I
started home on foot. Mr. B. gave me a dollar.

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26

Feb.23,/1863 Cont.
The wind was directly in my face all the way home, and I thought I should freeze, but I walked
from Mr. Bowers to Gould’s in two hours and three-quarters. Heard Stewart preach in the
evening from the text “Unto you who believe he is precious,” and he did indeed make Christ
precious. Our prayer meeting was good. This morning is clear and beautiful. Dr. being away I
had no lessons but Hebrew. Received a note from Lis through Rolly.
Evening
Wrote to Millie and also to Robert. Went collecting for Uncle James. Could not find Carroll but
Fish paid me the five dollars on Dorgan’s account. It was in silver, so I paid it out for my board
and wrote to Uncle telling him to take it out of my next remittance. Went down to see Mary Ann
but found that she had not yet returned from H.
Feb 24
Received a letter from Aunt Tenie, enclosing ten dollars. I must send five off to Uncle James,
and one to Richards. Mary Ann has not yet got home. Our prayer meeting was a very good one.
Chesney has gone home sick, making the fourth out of our class. Fitch, Mont, Cameron &
Chesney are away, and only three are left. Dr. Fyfe returned my essay on “Future Life” without
a mark, and my sermon with some faults as well as commendations.
Feb. 26
Wrote to Mary Bland exhorting her to think of her soul’s salvation, and endeavoring to impress
upon her the importance of personal religion. I enclosed three songs to her cousin.

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Feb. 26, Cont. 1863
Wrote to Aunt Tenie, answering hers of the 24th and enclosed a note to Uncle James containing
five dollars to pay Dorgan’s account. Went down to see M.A. tonight. She was in good spirits
and seemed to have enjoyed herself well in H. Richards could not get time to write to me, but
Miss Brown did. She wrote thanking me for the contribution sent to her paper.
Feb 27th, 1863
Dr. asked me today to preach in Beachville on Sabbath and I consented. I did not feel at all well
all day, and about five o’clock I went out for a walk. I went nearly to Eastwood. Did not attend
Society meeting. For two nights I have not taken off my clothes.
Feb. 28th
I had to speak before the school today and gave them “The dying Alchemist.” Read a skeleton
before Dr. Fyfe, my subject was “God loveth a cheerful giver” 2 Cor IX.7. I could not fix my
mind on the subject at all to study it up for a sermon. I tried two subjects but stuck on both.
March 1st
Two months of this year are already gone and I can hardly tell what I have done in these two
months. Time indeed flies quickly. This morning it began to snow and kept at it all day. Chave
and I started for Beachville where we arrived a good quarter of an hour before church time.
Owing to the storm, I had but a small congregation.
I preached from Heb. XIII: 8 and spoke about forty minutes. I did not feel at all at home in the
pulpit. The collection amounted to 29 cents. I got home about half past two. Did not go to
Bible class as I felt too tired. Heard Dr. preach in the evening, saw Mary Ann home and then

attended prayer meeting.
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28

March 4th 1863
Lincoln’s inauguration day. Rolly has been sick and not up to school today. I spent the
afternoon in his room talking. Yesterday I called on Capt. Carroll and he said that Uncle James’
agent had been in town the day before and had called on him.
March 5
Spent quite a while talking to Rolly this morning. Our Oratorical Society had a good meeting
this evening. I spoke on “Mythology.” Went down to see Mary Ann. Had no chance to have
any talk with her.
March 8th
Heard two good sermons from Dr. Fyfe. Staid at home all afternoon and read. Our evening
prayer meeting was a good one, and I was enabled to speak.
March 9th
Received a letter from Uncle Eben enclosing four dollars to pay his subscription for Feb. and
March. On Saturday I got my ream of note paper from Warwick’s & today I went down to pay
for it. It came to one dollar fifty cents. I have already sold quires to Torrance and 3 to Pickard at
10 cents per quire.
I also bought a small concordance and a Bible Dictionary. I called in to see Mary Ann but she
was going to be out so I did not stay. She is engaged every night this week, so I will not see her
to talk for a week. After I came home I wrote a piece of poetry as an apology to Eliza Bland for
offending her by that “Sleigh Ride” piece.

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29

March 10
Sent that piece to Eliza Bland. Received a letter from Annie Jane and also one from M. Bland.
This being the Prince of Wales wedding day, we had a half holiday in honour of the event. I
spent the afternoon in visiting. In the evening we had quite a nice time at the Institute. Mr.
Ballantyne and Miss Vining had got up a pleasant party for us. We met at seven, also put Dr.
Fyfe in the chair. We had six resolutions presented and carried. The first was moved by
Kilmaster, seconded by Albright, and was congratulatory to the Prince, the second expressing
respect to the Queen and Royal family was moved by Mr. Muir & seconded by Mr. Wetherall;
the 3rd that it was our duty to love the mother-country, was moved by Mr. Ballantyine, seconded
by Cunningham. Then we had an intermission of fifteen minutes with permission to talk to the
ladies, of which I did not avail myself.
Mr. Stewart by this time occupied the Chair, as Dr. had to go to a committee meeting. The 4 th
resolution respecting the importance of social intercourse to students, was moved by Ratcliff,
seconded by Nott, the fifth, that we ought to cherish kindly feelings towards the ? H.L was
moved by McArthur, seconded by Montgomery; the 6th, respecting our Institute was moved by
Torrance, seconded by Brierly.
Between the resolutions we had music by Misses J & L Shearer, M.J. Mabee, Barber & the
Choir. Then we had an original poem on “Canada” by Miss Vining followed by a speech from
Mr. Stewart, some resolutions and the breakup. I came straight home but some kept it up till
after eleven.

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30

March 11/63
As a natural consequence of yesterday’s work, we did not know our lessons today. Stewart
excused our class in Hebrew, & Dr. the class in John. We held our prayer meeting in the evening
and had a good one. After prayer the theological students had a meeting and unanimously
adopted resolutions against preaching at Beachville any more until they raise a decent
remuneration. Mr. Cunningham was appointed to convey our decision to the Dr. Today is the
second anniversary of my arrival in Woodstock and what pleasure and pain have I enjoyed and
suffered in that time. I have made rapid strides in some directions and have doubtless
retrograded in others, but on the whole I have reason to thank God and take courage.
March 14
Yesterday Dr. Fyfe was away, so I had only one lesson. I attended society meeting in the
evening. The Literary meeting was good, the business meeting disgraceful. This morning’s
exercises were good. I have spent great part of the day in reading over and burning my old
letters. I have not disposed of half of them yet.

March 15th/1863
This morning Mr. Gould proposed to go to Ingersoll, and I went with him. I expected to hear Mr.
Wilson preach but instead of that I heard Mr. Edwards of “Grande Linge” Mission. Mary Bland
was not out to church and so I did not see her, but I saw Mr. Mabee, Rachel & Walter & his wife.
It was Communion Sabbath with the church so I stayed to the ordinance. We then started for and
had our dinner at Mr. Canfield’s.

Rice/Campbell

Beachville

31

March/11, cont.
Then we went to the Baptist Church and heard at Mr. Hovey preach. He gave a very good
sermon. We then drove home but instead of going to tea I went up to see Rolly and received a
letter from Richards. Stewart preached in the evening, a sermon on baptism. It was the best I
ever heard on the subject. After service, he baptized a man and his wife. Our prayer meeting
was very good.
Monday Mar 16th Mont, Chesney & Clarke were away preaching and so our classes had but a
few in them. Northrup and I were the only ones in Butler’s Analogy, so Dr. Fyfe did not hear us,
but talked with us on various subjects. Wrote to Uncle Eben, acknowledging his of the 6th and to
Annie in answer to hers of the 8th.
Mar 17 Received a letter from Robert Kneeshaw.
March 18/1863 Received a letter from Uncle Sandy Milloy saying that he and Aunt Jeanie were
to pass up by this afternoon train, and wanting me to meet them. I was writing to Mary Bland at
the time, so I hurried through with the letter and went down to the station. I procured a ticket for
Ingersoll so that I might have a longer time with the folks. There were well, had been at H. and
B. and were going on to Michigan. I had a pleasant ride with them. Aunt Jeannie gave me two
dollars from herself and one from Aunt Lizzie. I went up to Douthwaite’s to call on M.B. She
had been home on the previous Sabbath, and that was why I did not see her. I gave her the letter.
I had enclosed in it a copy of the verses I sent to Eliza, as I had given her as good reason to be
offended as I had to Eliza. I had not long to stay, but started off for the cars, and had the pleasure
of having them pass me, when within a short distance of the station. I had no alternative but to

foot it, and I did it with right good will. I got home about seven o’clock.
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32

March 19th
Today I have written to Aunt Tenie and Millie. Our Oratorical Society had a very good meeting.
I have exchanged photographs with Shenston. Went down to see Mary Ann. She is pretty well,
but Mrs. Cox is sick. I had a long talk with M.A.
March 20 I spoke on a debate in the Society tonight. The question was “Resolved that Napoleon
was a greater General than Wellington” and I spoke in the affirmative, but we lost the decision.
In the business meeting Cunningham brought forward resolutions that honorary members should
not be permitted to speak except at the special request of the society. We had a splendid
squabble over it, and finally it had to be over till next Friday.
March 21/1863
Felt unwell all day. Went down to the Post Office in the evening and received a letter from Aunt
Tenie enclosing $8 which I paid over to Mrs. Gould. Did not study any as I did not feel well.
Mar. 22
Did not go out of the house till evening. Dr. Fyfe preached a very fine sermon. Mary Ann was
not out. The evening prayer meeting was an interesting one.
Mar 23
Jenkins & Wm McArthur left for home today, the latter not intending to return. It rained nearly
all day.
March 24
Rained all day and dreadfully muddy. Dr. Fyfe is very sick.

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33

March 25
It has now turned into snow, and there is every prospect of a very disagreeable time. Dr. is still
sick. I have not been nearer town than the boarding house since Sabbath evening. My throat is
better but my cold is as bad as ever. Rolly and Ross walked out to Embro on Saturday and back
on Sabbath evening. They had a middy time of it. Answered Aunt Tenie’s letter. In the
afternoon I put in nearly a whole seat of one of the cane bottomed chairs.
March 26
Our Oratorical Society had its last meeting tonight. I was one of the speakers. Went down to see
Mary Ann afterwards.
March 27
Wrote a long letter to Robert Kneeshaw. Received a letter from Eliza Bland. Our Society
Uncle Eben and family, and Amy Muir started for H. at noon. Annie went with them, intending t
o meet Uncle Andrew at Brockville. Before she started we called on Aunt Mary. After dinner I
got packed and moved my valise and trunk to Aunt Tenie’s and now I am comfortably settled.
Miss Farrar has her own room and I have the one which she had. Aunt Tenie gave me a necktie,
pair of braces, etc. We three went to prayer meeting in the evening and then called on Aunt
Lizzie. Mr. Alexander starts for Brantford.
March 28
Received a letter from Aunt Tenie enclosing two dollars from Grandma. She is well pleased with
my idea of going out to preach. Also received a letter from Uncle James enclosing one from
Millie. Uncle says he will send a parcel by express in a day or two and he also is pleased with

my intentions. Millie does not mention it.
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34

March 28/1863
She enclosed a piece of poetry of her own composition, entitled, “To my Mother in Heaven.” It
is very good, and she gives promise of being a good poetess.
Sold Rolly my Intellectual Philosophy and also sold my Classical Dictionary. Our Missionary
meeting was a very good one. Brierly read an essay on John Williams, the “martyr of
Erromanga,” Miss Vining read “The Garland,” and Nott read an essay on “Modern Christianity.”
Wrote a long letter to Richards. I have sold my Homer’s Illiad to Mabee for a dollar, and my
Intellectual Philosophy to Rolly for a dollar, and they are to pay Mrs. Gould next term. This,
with what I have paid her will leave me about three dollars to pay her on this term’s board.
Rice/Campbell
March 29/63
Went to hear Mr. Jeffers, the editor of the Methodist paper, the “Christian Guardian.” He is
pretty good, but very long winded preacher. Did not go out in the afternoon. Heard Stewart
preach in the evening on I John I.7 “The blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth from all sin.”
Our prayer meeting was a splendid one.
March 30th
Had a fine prayer meeting in the evening.
Mar. 31
Our prayer meeting was good, but thinly attended.

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35

April 1/ 1863
April Fool’s Day. Did not get fooled but fooled Emmons because he boasted so much. The
Ladies Society had a meeting public to the students. It was first rate. Miss Ward read a fine
extract on “extravagant Language,” Miss Kitchen read the “Casket” a long and interesting paper;
Misses Barber & L. Shearer read essays; Miss Vining read the “Sheaf,” a collection of scraps
made by the ladies, and Misses M.J. Mabee & Carey recited a dialogue. The music was by
Misses M.J. Mabee, Kitchen, J. Shearer, L. Shearer &c. The meeting passed off well and was an
honour to the Ladies and a credit to the Institute.
April 2/1863
Our last day this term. The examinations were held today. I was examined in Butler’s Analogy
and Biblical Atlas. In the evening we had a social meeting of the students. I was asked to speak
but refused. Alex McDonald, Higgins, Clark, McGregor, Ross, Pickard, breh? McDonald &
Moore were the speakers. The speaking was very poor. We had two dialogues, one by Misses
Ward and Barry assisted by L. Mabee & Humble; and one by Messrs McPhail & Woodruff,
assisted by Boswell, Linnan and others. The ladies favoured us with some very fine music.
After the literary exercises we adjourned to the dining hall where we partook of an oyster supper
prepared by the boarders. I had a seat beside Miss L. Shearer and enjoyed myself first rate. We
dispersed about eleven o’clock.

April 3/63

Good Friday

The students all dispersed to their homes. Most of them went East on the 8:15 train. After

seeing them off, the rest of us went up to the Institute and spent the morning there.
Rice/Campbell

36

April 3/63, cont.
We met in the music room and played on the piano, sang and talked till eleven, then some of us
went down to the cars. After dinner I went to the cars to see the rest off, then went to the Post
office, and got a letter from Annie, then had a ride with Willie Burtch and then called on Mary
Ann. I took tea with her and went to meeting and afterwards, had a long talk with her. I told her
just how I felt, and just how things were turning out. We were annoyed very much by Read who
acted a very ungentlemanly part. Wilson paid me one dollar for preaching out at Embro last
December.
April 14/1863
Back again to Woodstock after ten days absence. On the fourth I started off at six o’clock to
Princeton where I arrived in time to take the train to Paris, from which place I walked to
Brantford, reached Uncle Andrew’s about noon. Found Aunt Lizzie and Herbert in Hamilton and
Annie and baby at home. Uncle was going down that night with a buggy so I went with him. We
reached H. about twelve.
On the 5th
I attended the Baptist church and astonished my Sabbath School friends by my presence. All
were surprised to see me. Went to Sabbath School in the afternoon and then took a walk with
Richards and Miss. Bicknell. Took tea with John. After tea we called on Jessie, and got her Carte
de Visite.

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37

April 14/63, cont..
On the 6th
I wrote Aunt Tenne and to Millie. Aunt Jeanie started for Montreal about three, and Aunt Lizzie
for Brantford about the same time. Aunt Jeanie promised me some photographs. About tea time,
Mr. Ware and Annie and Miss. Tupper came down from Brantford. After tea I called on Jane
Robb and then on Bella. Had a long talk with Bella about Mary Ann. Both Jane and Bella
promised to write Mont.
On April 7th
I wrote to Mary Ann and also to Lis. Wrote out a piece for Miss Brown. Went up to Wright’s and
had him take a new negative of me. Mrs. & Miss Brown had been in Toronto and had not
returned till that day, so in the evening, I called and spent a pleasant evening.
April 14, 1863 Cont. *Eben was filling in 10 days of his journal
On the 8th
I called and received Jane Rob’s letter for M.A. Bella left hers in the store. Uncle paid me $2.
For April. I went down to see Richards and met Jessie. In the afternoon I called on old Mrs.
Bailey and on Miss Roky who gave me a parcel for Mrs. Hamilton. Miss. R. promised me her
photograph. My new negatives are not so good, so I only had one printed from it and four from
the other. Aunt Anah gave me herself and Uncle now had sent up those of the children to
Woodstock.

Rice/Campbell

38

On the 9th
I got my photograph and gave Aunt Anah one and sent one to Miss Rocky. I got a chance to ride
to B. with Mr. Ware. We left H. at four and reached B. about half past seven. I saw Chave and
Cameron. Annie went to Paris to a party that night. Aunt gave me a nice Sabbbath hat worth
two dollars.
On the 10th
I called on Miss Shenston, also on Mathison, Cripps & Alfred Cox. Traded boots with Uncle
Andrew & got a dollar to boot.
On the 11th
I didn’t do much but run around.
On the 12th
Heard Stewart preach twice. Met Alex McDonald.
*Eben filled in 10 days of his journal.
On the 13th
Got some ? Tr, ( Tincture of Brier). Went for a ride in the morning & spent the afternoon in
visiting. Auntie got some photographs from H. and gave me one of the four boys. She has
promised me one of Herbert and also one of Pussy. The 12 th was Millie’s Birthday.
Today I intended to start for Woodstock in the morning, but did not get up early enough. I left B.
about eleven and walked to Paris. Met Mont, Cunningham, Spottiswoode & Coutts, and on the
cars met Wilson & Misses Kitchen, Barry & Craig. On my arrival here I went directly to the
Post Office but found nothing except those photographs from H. Then came up to the house and

astonished Mrs. Gould. After tea went down to Cox’s.
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39

April 14/63, cont. *Eben filling in ten days of diary
Went to meeting with M.A. & had a walk afterwards. She seems to be getting over her queer
notions. Here I am back again, although I did not at all expect it.
April 15th
School was called today, but only to arrange the time-table. A good number of the students have
come back in season, and we have a few new ones. I bought one book, a “Natural History.” The
church history I had to send for to New York. I sold my Astronomy to Coutts for 87 ½ cents, but
he has not paid me yet. Wrote to Aunt Anah enclosing her photograph.
April 16/1863
We commenced our studies today. My lessons are as follows: Hebrew on Monday, Wednesdays
& Fridays from 8 ¾ to 9 ½; Ecclesiastical History on the same days from 9 ½ to 10 ¼; Natural
History, same days from 11 ¼ to 12. Harmony of Gospels Monday & Fridays 3 ½ to 4 ¼; Essays
on Ecclesiastical History on Wednesday, 3 ½ to 4 ¼.
Tuesdays and Thursdays, Theological lectures from 9 ½ to 10 ¼; Natural History 11 ¼ to 12,
Exegesis on Romans 2 to 2 ¾. Our Oratorical Society met tonight for the election of officers.
Muir was elected President, Clarke, Vice President, and myself Critic. I positively refused to act,
and Brierly was nominated but refused; then McArthur who declined; then Kilmaster, who also
declined. Finally they prevailed on McArthur to accept the office. I visited M.A. but had no
chance to talk to her.
April 17th We recited three lessons today. The Adelphian met in the evening. Cunningham’s
motion in regard to the honorary members passed but not by a legal vote. I resigned my

honorary membership, and dissolved all connection with the society. Wrote to Aunt Tenie.
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40

April 18/63
Sabbath
Wrote to Annie, enclosing “The Soldier of the Potomac” and “Ellsworth’s Avengers.” We had no
exercises this morning.
April 19th
Heard Dr. Fyfe preach twice. Did not go to the Bible Class, but wrote part of a sermon. Had a
walk with Mary Ann in the evening. I guess Bella’s letter did her good.
April 21/1863
Our prayer meeting was very good. Went down to have a walk with Mary Ann afterwards. She
has written to Bella, and to her Grandmother.
April 23rd
Wrote to Richards. Spoke at our Oratorical Society.
April 24th
Wrote to Bella.
April 26
Heard Stewart preach twice. Had a walk with M.A. in the evening. Went out on my Tract
distributing tour. Helped Brierly to sort over the tracts belonging to the Society.
April 27th
Got Stuart on the Romans, but did not pay for it, as my money has not arrived. Called on M.A.
and spent a pleasant evening. At parting she gave me a note, on opening which I found some
money, but I do not intend to keep it. The dear girl means well enough, and it shows the

kindness of her heart.
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41

April 29th
This afternoon Read left for Brantford. I saw him off, and received his photograph and am to
send mine. Rather strange for rivals, to part friends, and exchange photographs. I am glad he is
gone, for he will not have the chance to tell such stories about me. I got my church history
which comes to six dollars.
Not having the money it was charged to me. Rolly paid me the dollar for Waylands “Intellectual
Philosophy,” and offered to pay for that “Concordance” but I would not let him. Went to prayer
meeting and had a walk with M.A.
April 30
Received a letter from Aunt Tenie containing fourteen dollars to pay March 11 to May 11 th. Our
Oratorical Society had a good meeting.
May 1st
Went down to Warwicks & paid $5.40 for my Church History and $1.35 for “Stuart on the
Romans” in all $6.75. I wanted to get a photographic album but he has none to suit; neither had
McWinnie. At last I found what I wanted at Burkes. It is a very neat one and worth five dollars.
I used the money received on the 27th for it. It is intended as a birthday present for Mary Ann.
May 5th is her birthday and I must remember her. She will be much surprised for she suspects
nothing. In the evening I attended covenant meeting. There were very few there but we had a
good time. Mary Ann was not there.
May 2I/63 paid Mrs. Gould three dollars to settle my score for last term and five dollars on this
term’s board. In the afternoon I went off in search of fossils, and found a lot of corals, &c. We

had no evening prayer meeting , but we had a meeting of the Institute Tract Society.
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42

May 3/1863
Dr. Fyfe preached twice, and gave us two good sermons. It has been a cold raw day. In the
evening I had a walk with M.A. and engaged her for a walk on Tuesday night.
May 4
It has been a very disagreeable day. It has rained a little, and been very windy. Received a letter
from Millie who has been sick, but is better now.
May 5th
Mary Ann’s Birthday. It has been a miserable day. Rain and cold East wind have been our chief
discomforts. It has been so cold that Mabee and I have been forced to study in the kitchen. In
the evening I went down to see M.A. although I knew that we could not go out walking. We
spent a very pleasant evening together, and at parting I gave her the album. I had managed it so
cutely that no one knew that I had anything with me, and she did not know what it was.
May 6th
It rained all day but cleared up towards evening, but the wind still continued to blow from the
East. Went to prayer meeting at the church and then had a walk with M.A. She told me of her
surprise of the present, and what Mrs. Cox said of it.
May 7th
This has been the evening of the: Gossiping Club” at Mrs. Burtch’s. Our Oratorical Society was
adjourned to allow the members to attend the Club. I did not go. Received a letter from Bella
enclosing a note to Mary Ann, which I sent by Mont.

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43

May 8th
Had a walk with M.A. in the evening and we had a very pleasant time. I did not attend the
meeting of the Adelphian.
May 9th
Spoke before the school this morning. I gave them Fanny Forester’s “Sweet Mother,” preceded
by an introduction of my own composition. It is a very beautiful piece and has a very moving
effect. Our class read skeletons to Dr. Fyfe. Mine on 2 Timothy IV: 3 passed unaltered. Dr.
wanted to send me to Bronte, but I got excused. I wrote a verse in regard to a Missionary, and a
parody on Hamlet’s Soliloquy. The parody to speak or not to speak – is to be part of my next
declamation, which will be the last. Wrote to Bella inviting Blick Wilson to come up with Lucy
the 24th and stay with me. Also wrote to Aunt Tenie. Attended the Missionary Meeting. Miss
Kitchen read a splendid essay on “Boardman, the Missionary,” Higgins read a very long and dry
“Garland,” and Cunningham read an address on “Christian Benevolence.”
May 10th
Heard Dr. Fyfe preach twice. Went to hear a woman preach in the afternoon, in the town hall, on
the “Restoration of the Children of Israel.” Went home with Mary Ann but she would not go for
a walk. I met Willis and we went up to the prayer meeting. It rained a little in the evening, but
the day was very pleasant.
May 11th
A very warm day but raining towards evening. Wrote to Millie in answer to hers of April 30th.

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44

May 13/1863
Went to prayer meeting in the church and saw M.A. home.
May 14th
Did not attend the Oratorical Society but Mabee and I went out for a walk and had a good time.
May 15
Received a letter from Richards, enclosing a note for Mary Ann.
Evening
Went down to see Mary Ann and we had a walk. We had a long talk about our future prospects.
She seems to have begun to repent of her engagement. As the time draws near for my departure
from Canada, she begins to think she can’t trust her happiness in my hands sufficiently to go
with me. She seems to think that she would sacrifice more by going with me than by breaking
the engagement and staying here. This to me is a clear excuse that her love for me has cooled,
for once, she would have gone to the end of the world for me. I had hoped that the influence of
the last six months had passed away, but I see that their effects are bearing bitter fruit. Perhaps it
is judgement of God, and is meant for our best good. I do not feel as if I could release her, and
yet I would not hold her to her engagement contrary to her wishes. If she thinks that her
happiness will be advanced by a seperation I will not throw any obstacles in the way, but will
bear it, whatever it may cost, trusting in that God “who doeth all things well.”

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45

May 16th
Have not been well all day. Had a long walk with Mr. Northrup and gathered some flowers
which I took in to Mary Ann. Our evening prayer meeting was a very good one.
May 17
Stewart preached two splendid sermons. Mary Ann was unwell and was not out so I did not see
her. Attended the evening prayer meeting which was a good one.
May 18
Received a letter from Robert Kneeshaw. Called round to see M.A. but found that she had been
in bed all day, so I did not disturb her.
May 20
Received a letter from Millie enclosing one to M.A. Received one also from Lis. Went to prayer
meeting and had a short walk with Mary Ann.
May 22
Had a walk with M.A. She seems to feel it is not her duty to go with me, and I fear we will have
to part. Many of our students have gone off to spend the 24 th.
May 23rd
Some villain attempted to set our Institute on fire. He succeeded in burning the barn, and all its
contents, but the Institute was saved. He also set fire to one of the Privies, but fortunately, that
fire went out, or our institute would have gone. The fire broke out about three o’clock in the
morning. Went down to the evening train to meet Bella, but she did not come.

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46

May 24/1863
Dr. Fyfe preached two good sermons.
May 25th
We had a holiday today. I spent the morning in working and went for a walk in the woods in the
afternoon. I gathered quite a lot of flowers which I took to M.A., and then we went out for a
walk. I went to tea with her and then we had another walk. We talked the subject over, and she
still felt that duty called her to remain in Canada, while I felt that duty called me to Burmah. We
were very loath to break the engagement, but it had to be done. I kept up for her sake, but she
could hardly move. I was afraid that she would die then and there. She got so stiff she could not
move, and felt as if she were choking. After a little she got so much better that we could walk
on, but it was very hard for her. Poor girl, her heart is broken. After parting with her I felt so
weak that I could hardly walk home, but I managed to get home, with a cold awful heavy pain
gnawing at my heart.
May 26
I felt very strange and sick this morning. I could eat no breakfast. But went out to the woods,
and had a bitter time. When I went to school I felt so bad that I got excused for a few days. I
never felt so strange in my life. I felt as if I were choking, and I could hardly restrain the tears
from flowing while talking to Mr. Stewart and Dr. Fyfe. I borrowed a dollar from Mont and I am
going down to Brantford by the noon train. If it were the will of God I would willingly lay down
my life. I feel so lonely and desolate. Oh God! Its bitter to part with one I loved so well. Give
me strength, my Father. Comfort, protect, and bless us both.

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47

May 26, 1863,Cont.
Oh God! Strengthen Mary Ann. Her heart is well nigh broken. Pour in Oil and Wine. Heal her,
help her, make this affliction the means of purifying both and fitting us for thy service here and
thy Kingdom hereafter. God help us, for man cannot.
May 31st
Back again in Woodstock. On Tuesday/26th I left for Brantford by the one o’clock train. Met
Mathison at Paris. I felt so sick and stupid that I could not talk to him. Aunt and Annie were
very much surprised to see me. Towards evening I got a little better, and ate something, which I
had not been able to do at breakfast or dinner.
Wednesday I went out for a short walk, but felt too tired and faint to go far. On Thursday and
Friday I did not go out of the gate, but just lay round the house. I felt very miserable and
suffered much.
Sat. 30th I went into town, and got wet through. In the afternoon I decided to return to
Woodstock, for I could not stay away any longer. I felt such a gnawing to get back to see Mary
Ann. I walked to Paris and came up to Woodstock on the 8:30 train. I went straight up to Cox’s
and delivered my message and saw Mary Ann. She looks well and seems to have suffered but
little. I felt so bad while in B. that I called on none but Read and Alfred Cox.
This morning I distributed my tracts & sat a while in Hankinson’s. In church I felt and got but
little good from the sermon. It has rained the greater part of the day, but if it clears up I will have
a walk with Mary Ann, after service tonight. If not I will tomorrow night.

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48

May 30/1863, Cont.
Evening
Have had a walk with Mary Ann and asked her to renew the engagement. I offered never to go
away as a missionary unless I could persuade her, if she would renew the engagement. She said
that she would answer on Wednesday. Oh God! Help her to decide aright. Help us both to do
that which is right in thine eyes.
June 2nd

*GEORGE BROWN SPOKE IN WOODSTOCK

I have not felt very well since I returned, but I am getting on well in my lessons. There was a
poor fellow had the top of his head shot off this afternoon, by culpable carelessness. Our prayer
meeting was a very good one. George Brown spoke in the town hall tonight but I did not go.
June 3rd
Wrote to Robert Kneeshaw. Went to prayer meeting, and had to lead it. We had a pretty good
meeting. Had a short walk with Mary Ann, but she would give me no answer to my question.
She said she wanted to talk to me first, and then she would answer. She agreed to take a walk
with me on Sunday night and then answer whether she would agree to renew the engagement on
condition that I would not go out as a Missionary, till I could persuade her to go too. This
suspense and trouble is wearing upon my vital powers so that I am scarcely fit to do anything. If
it lasts any time it will place me on the sick list, for the only thing by which I bear up so often is
my great hope, and when that is swept away, all goes with a run.

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49

June 4/1863
Wrote to Millie answering hers of 16th of May. This is the night of their gossiping club. It meets
a Hatch’s.
June 5th
Wrote to Ralston. Today we finished our “Harmony.” I spent the evening in writing out
classifications of my “Natural History.” It rained some this afternoon and evening.
June 6th
Kneale staid with me last night. Our exercises this morning were pretty good. I have copied out
some pieces for Mont & had a long walk and that is about all I have done today. I have felt
better today, but not well. I suppose tomorrow night might kill or cure.
June 7th
Have not felt well today, but attended church twice. Dr. Fyfe preached two good sermons. It
was Communion Sunday. Had a walk with Mary Ann in the evening.
June 8th
Received a letter from Eliza Bland. I don’t know hardly how to act about it. She seems to think
something is wrong that I don’t go out there, and she had good reason to think so. I can’t go for
several reasons; I know M.A. won’t like it, I don’t feel like going anywhere, I feel that it is
dangerous for me to go &c, &c. Coutte Paid me for the “Astronomy” he bought of me in the
early part of the term. Bought some wire up town to fix my cane but found I could not do it.

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50

June 9/1863
Bought a watch from Shenston today. It is a silver watch and I got a long chain along with it.
The bargain was I was to have six months to pay it in, and if I wished I could return the watch
anytime within that time. The price was ten dollars. I went to the jeweler’s shop to get a key and
the man said the chain was apt to slip off and I must be careful. After tea Mabee and I went
downtown. We went for a long walk on our way home, and got here about seven. Shortly after a
young lady called at the door for me and who should it be but Fanny Spinks.
She told me Mary Ann wished to see me, and I went out and met her, and we three had a long
walk. In our travels we met Hankinson. We went up the tracks, then down to Fanny’s sister’s,
and then nearly to Fanny’s home. After leaving her we went back to Cox’s where we arrived
about twenty minutes to ten. Mrs. Cox has been scolding M.A. for being with me, and said she
be in by nine o’clock in the evening. Fanny and I advised her not to submit but to say that she
did no wrong. She had grit enough to stay out tonight till long after nine.
June 10th
Spent 50 cents today in buying some knick-knack from a boy at the door. Went to prayer
meeting. Had a short walk with Mary Ann. Mrs. Cox never scolded her one bit for her being out
the night before.
June 12th
Received a letter from Aunt Tenie enclosing a pass on the Steamboat from Hamilton to Montreal,
and also ten dollars. She wants me to leave here next week but I can’t do so, it is too soon.

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51

June/12/1863, Cont.
I wanted to have a talk with Dr. Fyfe, but he has gone east to the Association and I won’t be able
to see him till Monday. I expect he will object to my going, but it can’t be helped. I wanted to
leave here on the 23rd of June.
Took my watch to the jeweler to see about it, and he says it will cost from 37 ½ to $1.00 to fix it.
Paid my incidentals. Sat up till after twelve making out my list of the titles of Jehovah. I have
finished it, and now I’ve got to arrange it alphabetically and copy it.
June 13th
Returned to Mrs. Gould the dollar that I borrowed and paid six dollars on my board. Worked
hard all day. Took my watch to get it repaired.
June 14th
Torrance preached twice for us. He did well, especially in the evening when his text was Job
XXXIII: 24 “deliver him from going down to the pit, I have found a ransom.”
June 15th
Answered Eliza Bland’s letter and enclosed notes from Rolly and Ross. Had a walk with Mary
Ann in the evening, when she said that she could not renew the engagement. This settles it for I
will ask her no more. I will now take my course and let her take hers.
June 16th
Wrote to Aunt Tenie saying that I was going to leave here a week from today. I asked Dr.
yesterday and he consented with much reluctance. Hankinson also consented. Stewart gave his
consent.

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52

June 17th/ 1863
Received a letter from Aunt Mary Ann. Lucy has married John and gone out to Iowa to live.
Went to prayer meeting, and had a walk with M.A. afterwards. Received a letter from Richards
on the 13th.
June 19th
Mont, Chesney, & Fitch are away to the Association, and only Northrup and I are left to recite.
Got my watch but had to pay $1.00 for fixing it.
Evening
How much I have to write, and yet how illy I am prepared to write it. Today I went down for a
walk with Mary Ann, but found her out. However after some time which I spent in talking to
Mrs. Cox, she returned and then we went for a walk. First, she gave me a beautiful cap of her
own making. One that far surpassed any she ever made for me, and she also gave me a beautiful
bookmark for Millie, a real beauty and no mistake. Second, she had visited Mrs. Stewart last
night and had a long talk with her and Mrs. S. severely reproached her course of action; in fact
she quite won M.A. over to another notion. She told her pretty much what I did but in a better
way. Third and best, she has at last freely, heartily, and willingly agreed to renew our
engagement. She now has seen the error in breaking it, and is as happy as can be at the thought
of its renewal. Fourthly, she has got pretty well tired of Mrs. Cox, and is nearly prevailed upon
to leave her, at least for the summer. I hope she will decide to go to Drumbo for some months.
She is not well, that is certain, and needs air and exercise.

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53

June 19, 1863, Cont.
I fancy that she is troubled with some womb disease, but I have no proof of it, but anyway she
would be much benefited by a visit to her uncle’s. I hope to prevail on her to leave Mrs. Cox I
hope forever. If this is not good enough for one day, I don’t know what is. Thank God! I was
intending to go to the States and enlist, but she has saved me from that. Thank God that he has
blessed me so abundantly.
June 20th
Declaimed for the last time on a Saturday morning. I spoke a piece of my own, it was blank
verse and was a farewell to the rostrum. I got considerable credit for it. Received from Millie a
letter. Had a walk with Ralston. Spent most of the afternoon in fixing my things and packing up.
Went to prayer meeting in the evening.
June 21st
My last Sabbath in Woodstock. Elder Kees preached two good instructional sermons. Walked
home with Mary Ann and then attended prayer meeting. Wrote to Millie and Aunt Mary Ann.
June 22nd
Recited two lessons (Hebrews & Church History) and then came home and packed up my books
before dinner. After dinner went downtown, called on Stewart, and then on Mrs. Fyfe with
whom I spent about an hour. Then went to Hankinson’s, where they wished me to stay to tea, but
I could not. Then up to the Institute to bid Dr. Fyfe and the students good bye.
Then Mont and I went downtown and had a talk about Mary Ann. I took her a Bible dictionary
as an appropriate gift.

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54

June 22/1863
We had a long and loving walk,and talked hopefully of the future. I think M.A. has at last
determined to leave Mrs. Cox and go to Drumbo. Thank God for it. She is recovering her usual
health and spirits and seems well, although Mrs. C. is always dinging at her about me. I never
saw her part from me so cheerfully as this time; and I am glad to see she feels so well. She gave
me a money letter for her Grandmother and a note for Millie. I borrowed a quarter from Chave
to help pay my passage to Hamilton. The morning sees me off, and probably I will write no
more in this book till I get to Montreal.
June 23rd
Left Woodstock at half-past-seven, and saw a pleasant ride to Hamilton. When I reached there I
took my valise down to the wharf, another went up to the store. I thought that the house was shut
up, but it seems that Miss Owen and Connie Ware are keeping house for Uncle. In the afternoon
I called on Old Mrs. Bailey and found her grumbling as usual. I then went to the store and Uncle
took me to the Barber’s and had my hair cut. I also called on Mrs. Parnell and then went down to
see Richards. I staid to tea and afterwards we went for a walk on the mountain. It was ten
o’clock before I got home again. We had a good long confidential talk. He has been through
troubles as well as I.
June 24th
Uncle promised to pay my board bill if I would wait till I returned in Sept. Called on Miss
Brown. Went to tea at Richards and had a walk with John. Called on Bella’s but did not stay
long as she was going for a walk with Blick or (Glick.)

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55

June 24/1863 Toronto
Noon. Left Hamilton about eight, had a very pleasant passage and am now in Toronto Harbor.
Have just finished a letter to Mary Ann.
Evening : Our voyage from Toronto was fully as pleasant as in the morning. I wrote part of my
essay on the “metamorphosis of insects,” and also a letter to the Oracle.
On waking this morning I found the boat just leaving Kingston. The voyage was very pleasant.
The scenery was delightful and in viewing it I got dreadfully sunburnt. The rapids were
magnificent, and indeed I cannot express my ideas of all I saw and heard. We reached Montreal
about eight o’clock and I found Annie, Millie, Robert and Uncle James watching for me. They
took me up to Aunt Fanny’s as Aunt Tenie’s was full. Robert and I are to be roommates. There
were some friends at Aunt Fanny’s and I went into the room. I met some very nice persons,
especially a Miss Neale. I had quite an interesting conversation with her, and on the whole
enjoyed the evening.
June 25

Montreal

Called on Aunt Tenie & Lizzie, then went to the cottage and saw all the folks, then down to
Uncle James’ store, where I staid till noon, then to Uncle George’s Office and home to dinner.
Then I went to the Cottage again, and to Aunt Jane’s, and thence Aunt Isabella & I went to Aunt
Tenie’s. Between five and six all went for a drive round the mountain. Aunts Anah, Isabella,
and Tenie & Uncle Jimmy took the covered carriage, and Uncle James, Miss Farrar, Miss Neale
& I the open buggy. Our ride was very pleasant, and after tea we had a pleasant evening. Annie
and Millie came in after ten and Sandy afterwards.

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56

June 28/ 1863
*Willow Cottage, Rev. Muir’s home. Montreal Rev. Muir established the First Montreal Baptist
Church 1810 in a house on St. Helene St.
This morning I sat in the pew between Grandma and Millie. Went to the Cottage to dinner, and
spent the afternoon there. Grandma gave me nearly two dollars. As I had to preach at Cote St.
Paul, Millie and I went up to Aunt Tenie’s to get her horse and (Fr.?) Rodcout. It was a beautiful
ride. I preached from Heb XIII. 8 and had a very good time.
June 29th

*Cousin Reid

Visited at the Cottage, Aunt Tenie & Aunt Knox’s. Spent the afternoon in writing. Wrote to
Mont & Mary Ann. Finished a second letter to the Oracle and copied both. Went down to call
on young Reid. Then called on Cousin Ann and then on Aunt Tenie. Stopped to tea & came
home, had a bath, and spent the evening in writing.
June 30
Went to the Cottage, and then to Mr. Milne’s, where I got a Hebrew Psalter, then to Uncle James’
store & Uncle George’s office. Wrote till about five and then went out to Aunt Tenie’s where I
had tea and stayed till nearly ten.
July 1st
Spent the morning in writing and finished my essay. Went to the Cottage to dinner, then to Aunt
Tenie’s and then to Uncle James’ store. Uncle gave me a very nice pair of pants and a coat. Had
tea at the Cottage, went to prayer meeting and saw Millie home.

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57

July 2/1863
Copied out my essay in the morning. Went to the Cottage at dinner, and then to Aunt Tenie’s.
Went for a walk all round Point St. Charles, and back to Aunt Tenie’s for tea.
July 3rd

* VICKSBURG SURRENDERED.

Wrote to Mr. Hankinson and enclosed my essay. Went downtown and bought Aunt Tenie a
Psalmist, then called on Cousin John, and at Uncle George’s and James. Was at the Cottage to
dinner. Called at Aunt Tenie’s and spent a great part of the afternoon. Went to Aunt Tenie’s to
tea and staid with Aunt Lizzie while the folks went to meeting. Aunt Jeanie gave me
photographs of herself and Uncle. Aunt Tenie’s baby is quite sick. Aunt Fanny and Johnny got
home today. The news from the seat of war is encouraging. It is reported that *Vicksburg has
surrendered and Richmond is closely invested and that the Potomac River is impassed. I also
hope that the news is true, for it will be a death-blow to the rebellion.
July 4th
Independence Day. The Glorious Fourth. The morning was spent in writing, reading &c. Called
at Aunt Tenie’s. Went to prayer meeting and prayed. Then went for the horse and got Millie
Muir, called at the church and took Lucy Scott & Millie Rice in and started for the cemetery.
Our ride was pleasant, Millie driving most of the way. Annie and Robert got there as soon as we
did, and we had a great time hunting for one another. After an hour or so we started for home,
Annie & Robert walking, the rest of us in the buggy. I took the girls round the mountain and let
Millie Muir drive. We sang hymns, talked and enjoyed ourselves amazingly. We were to Aunt
Jane’s for tea.

Rice/Campbell
July 4/1863/Cont.

58
*Millie Rice is his younger sister

The excitement was too much for Millie Rice and she was quite sick in the evening. Baby Foley
has been very sick all week and her life has almost been despaired of. Poor little pet, I hope she
may recover and be spared to her parents.
July 5th
Taught Uncle George’s class in the Sabbath School. Heard Mr. Alexander preach in the
morning. Went down to see Millie and staid with her while the folks went to church. She has
been in bed all day, but is not very sick. It rained quite hard in the morning, and was a very clear
warm day.
July 6th
Wrote part of a letter to Mary Ann and also wrote to Mr. Gould, and Ross. Took tea at Aunt
Tenie’s and then went down to the young men’s meeting.
July 7th
Wrote to Rolly and enclosed in Ross’ letter. Finished my letter to Mary Ann and received one
from her. Called on Aunt Tenie and then went for a walk. Walked about Lachine and got
belated. Got home about ten o’clock.
July 8th
Bought a “Panoramic trip from Niagara to Quebec,” and also a couple of papers. Went to the
Cottage at dinner and to Aunt Tenie’s to tea, and then to prayer meeting.

*Aunt Tenie. Is his younger aunt 5 years his junior.

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July 9/1863

59
*Guilbault’s, Theatre Opera House.

Visited at Guilbault’s. Uncle George had a season ticket and he let me have it. Went to the
Cottage to tea, and spent the evening. Mrs. Hamilton and family arrived this evening. Mr. H.
would not come.
July 10th
Visited around a little today. Aunt Lizzie & Jeannie went up to Prescott yesterday to meet their
husbands and today they all came down. All are here now but Mr. Hamilton. I did not go down
to the boat to meet them.
July 11th
I have been very sick all day. Woke up about half past three with very bad diarrhea, which about
breakfast time changed to sickness at my stomach. Could eat no breakfast or dinner. Slept part
of the morning and afternoon. Aunt Fanny had Grandma, Uncle Wm, Aunt Isabella, Jane &
Millie, Sisters Annie and Millie, and Mrs. H. to tea, but I did not feel well enough to go down. I
ate some tea and slept all evening. My head ached dreadfully all evening.
July 12th
My head ached badly all day. Millie came home to dinner with us and staid all afternoon. I had
no time to study my evening sermon. On the way to church I could hardly walk on account of
my headache, but I did not feel it while speaking. Spoke about thirty-five minutes on Job
XXXIII. 24 “Deliver him from going down to the pit. I have found a ransom.”

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60

July 12/1863, Cont.
After service I walked to the Baptist Prayer meeting, then I saw Amy Muir home and spoke to
Mr. Alexander for a little while. He wants me to preach for him in August and I agreed. Then I
went to see Aunt Lizzie and met all Aunt Tenie’s folks there.
Today is the Orangeman’s Great Day. In jotting down for the 8th I forgot to say that it was the
anniversary of the engagement to Mary Ann. Three years ago we were engaged, on a beautiful
Sabbath evening, in the famed city of Hamilton. How well do I remember the scene.
July 13

Our Jubilee

The Golden Wedding Day.
Spent the day in calling and running errands. During the day it rained a little, and poured
towards evening. After tea Robert and I went down to the Cottage, and got there about half past
six. The presentation was to take place at seven, but owing to Mrs. Hamilton, it did not occur till
eight. The children’s gift consisted of a beautiful tea service and salvers worth about one
hundred and fifty dollars, and Uncle William was selected to present it, as being the eldest son.
The Grand-children’s present consisted of a gold-headed cane (worth thirteen dollars) for
Grandpa, and a gold thimble (worth ten dollars) for Grandma.
Jeanie Kneeshaw, as Grandpa’s pet was to present the cane, which had Grandpa’s support
inscribed on it, and I as the eldest grandchild, had to deliver the address and present the thimble
to Grandma. After all were ranged in order the presents were brought in and Grandpa &
Grandma were much astonished. Uncle Wm addressed them in a very feeling manner, but broke

down and had to use his manuscript.

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61

July 13, 1863/Continued
After he got through, Grandpa rose to return thanks which he did in a few appropriate remarks,
astonishing all of us by the ease in which he spoke. Then I led forward Jeanie who gave
Grandpa the cane, and I addressed them first unitedly, and then speaking to Grandpa alone, then
turning to Grandma I addressed myself to her and ended by presenting the thimble. During my
speech, which was almost entirely unpremeditated, poor Grandma could not refrain from
weeping, and Aunt Tenie, Hattie Farrar and others followed her example. Grandpa replied
briefly, and then Mr. Milne stepped forward and reading a poetical address, presented Grandpa
with a spectacle case and Grandma with a fruit knife. After Grandpa’s reply we dispersed to our
amusements. The guests kept dropping in, but owing to the rain many of them staid away. I had
a very pleasant time talking with one another, paying particular attention to Amy Muir.
At the supper, I took her in and waited on her, serving her bountifully till she would have no
more. Then I sat beside her and talked. She is a very sociable girl, and we had a nice time.
During the evening Dr. Goudy read a Psalm, and Mr. Alexander made a speech and prayed, after
which we sang a hymn specially composed for the occasion by Mr. Alexander. The company
dispersed after twelve o’clock, and thus ended our Jubilee. All of the family who were alive
were there, with the exception of Mr. Hamilton. Two Grandparents, nine children, & seven by
marriage, and thirty four grandchildren, besides guests made quite an imposing assembly.
Everything passed off well, and all seemed satisfied. Grandma got several other very handsome
presents from some of the guests. Not a jar occurred to mar our harmony, but “all went merry as

a marriage bell.”

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62

July 14th
We did not rise very early this morning. After breakfast I went to the Cottage and offered my
services as an errand boy. I was kept running till dinner time. I dined at the Cottage and then
took a load up to Aunt Tenie’s. Had chat with the folks and rode down in the cart with them.
Met Uncle Eben and rode back to Aunt Tenie’s and then walked up to the Cottage. Then went to
Aunt Tenie’s and then down town, and back to tea. Wrote to Richards this evening.
July 15th
Today was appointed as the day to have the family picture taken, but owing to the rainy weather
it was put off till tomorrow. I took a walk down the river bank and saw the Norwegian Corvette
come in. Went up to Aunt Tenie’s to tea and walked to prayer meeting with Miss Farrar.
July 16/ 1863 * William Notman the photographer took Mui ,Rice family photos
This being the day for the taking of the family picture Hettie Muir and I started off on foot to
reach the place. The rest of the folk were to come in carriages. Our walk was very pleasant, but
it began to rain as soon as we reached the ground.
However we got under a tree and did not get wet. It soon stopped raining and by and by Robert
and Clarke came along, and all four of us went for a walk. We began to despair of seeing the rest
of the folks, but they came about twelve. *Notman not being on hand we had our lunch and
made a picnic of it. We had a nice time, and enjoyed ourselves. Notman came after a while and
we were all ready about half past two.

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*WILLIAM NOTMAN, CANADIAN PHOTOGRAPHER

63

July 16/1863, Cont.
The place was very beautiful and romantic, and we were ranged in families for the most part.
Annie, Millie and I got directly in front of Grandpa and Grandma. *Notman first took a large
one for himself, but this got broken afterwards. He then took a stereoscopic view, and then
another. This being done we dispersed. Aunt Isabella started immediately for Portland. Most of
the folks returned in the Omnibuses, but Hetty, Robert, Muir, Charlie and I went through the
Cemetery and then walked across the mountain. The view from the brow of the mountain was
beautiful. We arrived at Uncle William’s about six. Hetty and I went into the garden, and had
some currants, strawberries and cherries, and then went up to the Cottage to tea, and to Aunt
Tenie’s to spend the evening.
July 17th
A number of us were invited up to Thayers to spend the evening, but only Annie, Millie, Amy &
I went. I called for Amy and walked up with her. We had a nice time, but after tea a number of
strangers came in, and soon after half past nine Millie, Amy and I left for home. No sooner were
we away than they began to dance, and Amy did not get home till midnight. Aunt Fanny and
children left for Portland tonight.
July 18th
Received paper from Aunt Mary Ann. It had been sent to Woodstock. Was at the Cottage to
dinner and tea, and then went up to Aunt Tenie’s to spend the evening. Uncles Eben, Andrew
and myself rode round the mountain. Have been here four Saturdays and have been round the

mountain on three of them.

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July 19/1863

64
Montreal

Heard Mr. Alexander both times. Spent the afternoon at the Cottage. Called in at Aunt Tenie’s
after church.
July 20/1863
*Cacouna, a Victorian summer place on the St. Lawrence where elite stayed. Eg. Molsons.

Sent some messages for Aunt Lizzie, and then went to see Millie. As Annie had not yet been
round the mountain, I promised to take her today. Got Aunt Tenie’s horse, and Miss Farrar and
Shirley went with us. It rained very hard but as we were well protected and didn’t mind it.
Called in at Mrs. Eastly’s and paid a visit. We had quite a nice drive, not with-standing the rain,
and enjoyed it very much. Got home about six. I then started down to the boat, and saw the
folks off to Cacouna. Aunt Jeanie, Uncle Sandy, Lizzie, Annie, Ebbie, Herbert, Millie and Aunt
Tenie’s nurse & baby went down. Maggie is going down with Aunt Lizzie and Tenie. I got a
ride up from the boat with Aunt Tenie, and went there to tea, and then went to Uncle Wm’s to see
the Phantasmagoria. It was very pretty. I then went to Aunt Jeanie’s for Aunt Tenie and Miss
Farrar, and saw them home. I got home myself about half past eleven.
July 21
Uncle Andrew started for Brockville. Spent the morning in writing to Mary Ann. Went to the
Cottage to dinner, and removed up to Aunt Tenie’s in the afternoon.

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65

July 22
Uncle Eben and family, and Amy Muir started for Hamilton at noon. Annie went with them,
intending to meet Uncle Andrew at Brockville. Before she started we called on Aunt Mary. After
dinner I got Chip (* the horse) and moved my valise and traps to Aunt Tenie’s and now I am
comfortably settled. Miss. Farrar has her own room, ( grandmother’s nurse ) and I have the one
which she had. Aunt Tenie gave me a necktie, pair of braces & etc. We three went to prayer
meeting in the evening, and then called on Aunt Lizzie. Mr. Alexander starts for Brantford
tomorrow.
July 23
Finished my letter to Mary Ann. Took Leslie Sissy and Pussy Morton for a ride on the lower
Lachine Road.
July 24
In the afternoon, I took Jeannie and Maggie Hamilton and Maggie Milloy round the mountain.
We also called in at the cemetery. Maggie M. drove most of the way. Uncle William’s folks
started for Highgate.
July 26

Sabbath

Dr. Fyfe preached in the morning and Mr. Caldwell in the afternoon. It was rather a rainy day,
and the people did not turn out very well I was at Uncle Milloys to tea. I have not yet heard from
the west. If I don’t hear soon I will begin to get vexed for I have written a number of letters.

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(p 111. Vol 2 in original )

66

July 27/63
Called on Dr. Fyfe this morning and had a nice long talk with him. I called twice last week but he
did not find him home.
July 28/63

Montreal

Mrs. Hamilton and family started for home at noon. Received a letter from Mary Ann, who is
still in Woodstock. Also from Millie who is enjoying herself in Cacouna. We all went down to
the cottage in the afternoon and stayed to tea. In the evening, Robert and I went for a walk and
walked up to the rapids. We did not get home till after 11 o’clock.
July 29/63
Answered Millie’s letter. In the evening Uncle Jimmie, Aunt Jenie. Mrs. Frank Campbell and
Leslie & Willie K went out in the big carriage, and I took Miss Farrar and Shirley, Bridget &
baby Morton in the buggy. We went up the lower La Chine Road and did not get home till nine
o’clock. We had a splendid ride, and enjoyed ourselves very much. In the vening, Frank
Campbell cam eup and I recited, “The Daughter Of Herodius.”
July 30/63

July 30th
Aunt Tenie and the rest of the folk started for Cacouna this evening. We were very sorry to have
them go, but it could not be helped. We rode down to the boat and I walked up home with Miss

Farrar. I sent a letter. On this day eight years ago I left Montreal for Hamilton to work for
myself.
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67

July 31st
Spent most of the day at home reading to Miss Farrar. We had agreed to go out riding in the
evening but Uncle James came up and took Chip out so we could not go. It was very shabby of
Uncle for he might have taken one of the other horses as well. I suppose he thought it was of no
account how he put us out if he was suited. Miss F had her ride however, for Uncle Milloy came
in his carriage and took her for a ride. I was left all alone and improved the time by writing to
Mary Ann.

August 1st
Emancipation Day. The Y.M.C.A. Excursion took place this afternoon and I invited Miss Farrar
to go, but she would not. I did not care to go alone, so I staid at home. It rained a good deal
during the day but afternoon was very fine. I had a walk after dinner. Uncle Jimmy was going
for a ride in the evening, but did not on account of the mud.

Aug 2
Mr Green preached both times. I liked him very well. He is not eloquent, but his material is rich
and feeds the hungry soul. I spent the day at the Cottage.

Aug 3rd

Had a walk in the afternoon. Uncle Jimmy again disappointed us about the horses, and then did
not ride. Uncle James took Miss F and I out for a short ride.
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68

Aug 4/1863
Had the pony out for about an hour after Miss F. came home from market. Went for a long walk
after dinner. Aunt Millie and Uncle James were here to tea. Uncle offered to pay for me if I
would go to the excursion tomorrow, but I could not go as I had to be back in time for prayer
meeting.

Aug 5th
Wrote part of a letter to Aunt Tenie. Miss F. got a letter from Auntie in which she says that she
will write to me very soon. The folks are all well and dear little Shirley is quite a pet. We all
went down to the Cottage to dinner and tea. I got my cane fixed today. I had a new head and
ferule put on and also got it varnished, and it cost me 60 cents. The prayer meeting in the
evening was a missionary prayer meeting. I led it but did not like too much. It has rained some
today.
Aug 6th
Received a letter from Aunt Tenie. The folks are all well. Spent the evening at Mrs. Scott’s.
The only others there were Miss Claxton and Robert. I had a very pleasant time and enjoyed
myself very much.
Aug 7th
Miss F. and I went for a ride. We called for Lucy Scott and Freddy. We went down the river and

had a very pleasant time. Uncles James and Jimmie went out for a ride in the evening. Got a
letter from Millie and found that they were all well. Wrote to Aunt Tenie & Millie yesterday.
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69

Aug 8/1863
Wrote to Aunt Mary Ann in the morning enclosing Annie’s Carte-de-visite and a copy of the
Jubilee Hymn. Also went into town and read the papers, and called at the Cottage. In the
afternoon I went to prayer meeting, and then to the Natural History rooms but found them shut.
Miss Farrar took Mrs. Scott for a drive, and then went to tea. I took tea at the Cottage. Bought
an Illustrated Comics paper and a Witness. Robert and I had a long walk and then called for
Miss Farrar. After a little conversation with Mr. Scott we started for home. Rode in the cars.
Frank Campbell’s only child died tonight about eight o’clock. It has been sick since Wednesday.
The disease was diarrhea. Uncle Jimmy left town today for a short trip. He expects to be back
by Wednesday. Uncle William started for Highgate this afternoon. Sandy Hamilton offered to
take some letters up West, so this evening I wrote to Annie, Aunt Anah, and Reuben Shenston.

Aug. 9
Mr. Green preached both times. After the morning service I went to the Cottage to dinner. In the
afternoon Frank Campbell came up to try to get some black edged paper, but there was none in
the house. I volunteered to come up to Aunt Tenie’s for some but could not get any. I then went
back to the cottage, and after tea I called at Aunt Campbell’s. I saw Agnes and the poor baby.
The little fellow did not seem to be much changed. I went to the German Church to hear
Sergeant Herbert preach, but we had a prayer meeting instead. We got to the Baptist church in

time for prayer meeting.

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Aug 10th
In the morning I was in town. In the afternoon I went to the funeral. I had Chip and took Robert
& Linis & Jesse Thayer. After tea Uncle James and Miss Farrar went to Lachine for a ride and
did not get home till near ten. I had a bath while they were gone and enjoyed myself pretty well.

Aug 11th
Miss F., Lucy Scott, Robert and I had planned a trip to the back river today, but Robert could not
go at the time we started. He promised to come on afterward. Our ride was beautiful but warm.
After dinner we enjoyed ourselves very much. Robert joined us about two, having walked out.
We staid round there till half past five when we started for home. Robert drove home. On our
way, we lost our plaid, and on driving back found it in the possession of an old habitant. He did
not seem to like it much when we claimed it, but taking possession and throwing him a dime we
drove on. We came through St. Laurent and Cote des Neiges and down between the mountains.
Arrived at home. Miss Farrar found letters awaiting her from her mother and Aunt Tenie. We
had a delightful chat, and spent the evening pleasantly. It commenced to rain about ten o’clock.
My profit from the days apart are two superb butterflies, another small one, and a curious insect
(name unknown.) The place we were at the back river was just at the rapids. It was very pretty,
shady spot, with a pleasant view. I gave the hostler 30 cents for taking care of our horse.
Yesterday I received letters from Rolly and Lis.

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71

August 12th
Wrote to Aunt Tenie. In the afternoon I took Miss Claxton for a ride. We went up the Lower
Incline road to the village and down the other. We were three hours on the way and enjoyed
ourselves very much, having a nice chat about our school and schoolmates. In the evening Miss
Farrar and I went to prayer meeting. I prayed.

Aug 13/63
Went to the cottage today for the first time since Sunday. Grandma gave me a nice steel watch
chain, a pair of woolen socks and some yarn to mend them and a couple of night shirts.

Aug 14
Received a letter from Richards. He is well as are all the Hamilton folks. By the bye, on
Wednesday evening, I saw Messrs Dryfoot and Roberts of Hamilton at our prayer meeting. They
were stopping at the “Ottawa” and I called to see them next day but they were out. Mrs. Frank
Campbell was up at the house and Uncle Jimmy took her and Miss F. out for a drive. Uncle got
home on Wednesday.

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72

Aug 15/ 1863
My birthday! I am twenty-three years old, just one third of man’s allotted time. These years
have rolled round very swiftly but alas very unprofitably. Miss F. wished me a happy birthday as
soon as she saw me this morning. I was at the cottage but none of the folks remembered that it
was my birthday and I did not enlighten them. Went down to Uncle James’ store and received a
letter from Mary Ann. The dear girl had not forgotten that it was my birthday, for she sent me a
large bookmark having for a motto the words “And he took the cup and gave thanks.” The cup
was beautifully worked in silver Beads as if it were the words. Most of the day was spent in
studying at my sermon. After tea Uncle Jimmy took Miss F. and I for a drive. We went round
the Western Mountain. It was very pleasant but rather cold. I received a letter from Aunt Tenie
and Millie. Aunt Isabella returned from Portland at ten o’clock at night.

Aug 16
This has been a very disagreeable day to me. When I woke in the morning I feared that I might
have to preach twice, so I looked over an old sermon on Matt. XI.28. Sure enough, I had to
preach in the morning. I took the text Matt. XI.28, reserving my new sermon on Isai XXXII, 2
for the evening. I got along well enough till I commenced to preach, but it seemed as if my
words had no effect. The people appeared to feel uneasy. Uncle James was very restless,
Grandma, Miss F. and most of my relatives appeared either afraid or ashamed. I got so that I
could hardly think, my thoughts would not turn into words and after speaking thirty minutes I sat

down greatly relieved. I left thoroughly ashamed of myself and hardly dared to look anyone in
the face.
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73

Aug 16/1863, CONT.
After communion I asked Mr. Green to preach in the evening, and plead so earnestly that he
consented. I would not go to the cottage to dinner, but went up to Aunt Tenie’s. In the afternoon
Uncle James and Aunt Isabella came up and staid to tea; Frank was up for a little while. I felt
miserable all day for I feared that I might have to preach in the evening. Fortunately Mr. Green
preached. I was a little amused to see the Garvin’s and Knox’s coming to church to hear me
preach. I was heartily glad that they were disappointed. After prayer meeting I escorted Miss
Claxton home, and went in and sat down for a few minutes. It was about ten when I got home. I
was glad when the day was over. I’ll never preach in that church again.
Aug 17
Wrote to Aunt Tenie and Millie. Also to Rolly and Lis. Uncle Jimmy was going to take Miss F.
and I out for a ride, but just as we were about to start, he found some letters that he should have
mailed, so I had to forgo my ride and hurry down to the Quebec boat. I took the cars to the
“Champ de Mars” and got to the boat in plenty of time. On my way home I watched a man
walking against time. He undertook to walk 21 miles in three hours. I did not wait to see if he
accomplished it or not.
Aug 18 Wrote to Mary Ann. Went to the Cottage for tea. Robert and I went for a short walk
and then I went to his room and we had a very pleasant time. I went back to the Cottage to take
Miss F. home. Aunt Isabella gave me some seaweed, one sea-urchin with spines and three
without. Some starfish and some sea shells, being some of her treasures gathered at Portland. It

was very kind of her to give them to me and they will make a nice addition to my collection of
curiosities, which is rapidly increasing.
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74

Aug 19th
Miss Farrar went to the Cottage again today to help Aunt Isabella get her things ready. In the
afternoon I started out for a walk. I went to the top of the mountain and staid there till half past
six. The view from the mountain is very beautiful and I enjoyed it much. When I got down I
had time merely to come home and fix myself and then start for the prayer meeting. After
meeting I saw Miss Claxton home and then went to the Cottage for Miss F. Uncle William and
family came home today from Highgate. I have only seen Hetty.

Aug 20/1863
Uncle James and Aunt Isabella started from Upper Canada today. Miss F., Uncle Jimmie and I
together with Frank and Agnes were invited out to Mr. Esty’s this afternoon and evening. I
preferred spending the day at Longueil. After getting some lunch prepared I left the house about
ten, called at Uncle James’ store and then strolled down to the harbor. I kept along down the
shore, seeing what was to be seen, till I reached Hochelaga, then going on board the steamer Ste.
Marie, I soon reached Longueil. Having landed, I walked up the bank as far as St. Lambert’s.
There I ate my lunch and wandered round till I felt inclined to return. In my walk to Longueil I
picked up a blanket, worth about 25cts, and as I could find no owner I kept it. After strolling
through the village, I recrossed to Montreal, and reached home in time to have tea, with Uncle,
who did not go to Esty’s. After tea I had a bath.

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75

Aug 21/63
I spent the morning in town and called in at the cottage. In the afternoon Miss F. and I took Aunt
Millie and Jeannie for a ride round the mountain.

Aug 22
Went into town in the morning to read the papers. Met Miss Claxton and invited her to go for a
drive in the afternoon. Received a letter from Rolly in answer to mine of the 17 th. He says that
several are in trouble about their souls, five have applied for Baptism, and appearances are
hopeful. He is at present laboring at Papineauville in Lower Canada. He tells me that Ratcliff
has got a call from the Thurso Church. On my way home I called on Aunt Jane and had a very
nice time. Hetty and I went into the garden and had a melon and apples. She gathered some
flowers for me among others, some everlastings. I got her Carte-de-visite and am to send mine.
In the afternoon it began to rain just as I started out with the horse. Miss C. thought it would be
expedient to put off the ride, so I went alone. I rode for about two hours then brought the horse
home and went for a walk for another hour. The rain was very provoking, stopping soon after I
started on my lonely trip. After tea Uncle Jimmie went for a drive, and I accompanied Miss
Farrar to her aunts, Mrs. Scott’s.
While at their gate, quite a laughable incident occurred. I was not going in just then and
as I was just turning away from Miss F, Miss Claxton came along evidentally with the intention
of going into Mrs. Scott’s, but seeming to be put out by our standing there, made as if she to pass

on. So I made way for her to pass. I said “Good evening, which she returned, and in her
confusion blurted, “I;m going for a little walk.” and walked past.
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76

Miss F. at once made a gesture as if for me to follow Miss C., and then whirled into the gate. For
several reasons , I did not follow Miss C.I did not desire to walk with her just then, and I wanted
to go to the cottage and see Robert, but most of all I wished to see Miss F.
To do all this I went up the other street and round to the cottage . I talked to Grandma
awhile and then went upstairs o see Robert, with whom I had some profitable conversation and
then I went back to Scott’s for Miss F. Louisa Scott had just returned and I had a little
conversation with her.
After some time spent in the parlor Lucy favoured us some music, Miss F, and I started
for home where we arrived about ten. Bought a Hebrew testament for forty cents. Spent the
morning in town. Took Miss F, Aunt Millie, and little Jeanie for a drive.
In the evening we all received letters from Cacouna. Miss D., Uncle Jimmie received letters from
Jenie. She sent me one also enclosing one from Millie. They were all well and are coming home
next week.. Millie tried to encourage me about my preaching., by telling me what other’s said
about it.
Uncle George’s children got home this morning. Uncle and Aunt Fanny could not travel
so fast, but are expected on Thursday. Sandy Hamilton is also home.
Aug 26/63
Was in town in the morning. Had my valise fixed for which I paid 20 cents. Also got miss F’s.
scissors fixed. Received a letter from Mary Ann. She is in Hamilton and seems not to be going
back to Woodstock. She gave me a very cold letter, and appears determined to scold. In the

afternoon Miss F. and I went for a drive. We got Lucy and Emma Scott and then went out to the
Lower La Chine Road and back the Upper.
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77

The drive was delightful. After tea Miss F. and I went to prayer meeting. The meeting was a
splendid one and I hope did us all good. Have received an invitation to Miss Claxton’s tomorrow
but I ma not going. To save appearances, I will go for a while in the evening. I am also invited to
the cottage for Friday evening and to Scott’s for next Tuesday. All these are for Miss Claxton
who is going asway on Wednesday. Next Thursday Lucy and Louisa Scott are invited up here.
Aug 27
Spent the evening in town and at the cottage. Spent the afternoon in writing. Wrote to Aunt Jenie
and Millie, the last while they are in Cacouna. Met Sandy Hamilton and heard from the west, but
got no leter from either Annie or Aunt Anah. In the evening I was invited up to Mr. Claxton’s. I
did not care about going, but finally went about eight. There were present two Miss Goldies, two
Miss Scotts, Hettie Muir, Miss Urquhart and a young lady who’s name I know not , besides Mr.
Bears, two young Wadsworths, Robert, Charlie, and two other gentlemen. I soon got in to
conversation with Miss Jane De Golier. After a while, we got to looking at puzzles, Mr. Claxton
showed us, and then watched Miss Urquhart, Hetty play checkers. Hettie gained nearly evrey
game. She then played with another gentleman and Mr. Claxton beating both. I then played with
her, beating her. Then Miss Louisa Scott and I played. I winning two games out of three. We did
not start for home till half past twelve.
Aug 28
Was in town in the morning. Went for a walk in the afternoon. Went round on emountin,
principally to get plums. But did not gte any. Caught one butterfly. Started at three, got home

soon after five, fixed…? And went to cottage for tea, where I met Miss Calxton, Miss Lizzie
Willet, Miss Faffar, Miss L and Lucy Scott.
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78

Aug 28, Cont.
After tea Miss Louisa and I played two games of checkers, each gaining one. We then went to
prayer meeting, and then I returned to the cottage and beaued Miss L. Home. Wrote Richards.

Aug 29
Uncle George and Aunt Fanny got home this evening. I intended to take Miss Claxton for a drive
this afternoon, but it rained so heavily that I did not go. Miss Louisa and Lucy came up after
prayer meeting and spent the evening. Robert came up shortly after tea time. We had a very
pleasant time of it.
Aug 30
Mr. Alexander preached in the morning from John. The narrative of the woman of Samaria. I
came home to dinner and tea. Sandy Hamilton was here to dinner. Uncle Sandy Milloy was here
in the afternoon in the afternoon. In the evening, I preached at the German church. Robert, Lucy,
Miss Claxton ere there. My text was Hebrew X111 : 8. We got to the Baptist chuch for prayer
meeting at which I took part.
Aug.31
Spent the morning in town getting things to make puzzles. Bought one puzzle for ten cents.
Bought some rings, & c, for a ring puzzle. Grandma gave me ’Cheever’s Lectures on Bunyan.’
Spent the afternoon in making puzzles. Called on Aunt Fanny in the evening.

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79

Sept 1
Wrote Mary Ann. Then went into town to get some things to make another puzzle of the Magical
rings. Spent the afternoon in making puzzles. In the evening went up to Miss Scott’s. There were
present Misses, Farar, Louisa, & Lucy Scott, two Willets, two Urquharts, Mr & Mrs Scott, Julia,
and Willie, Messrs Stubbe, Mosily. R. Kneeshaw and myself. We spent a very pleasant evening
together. My puzzles caused a great deal of amusement. And the question about the husband
could not be found out. It was nearly twelve when we started for home. When we rang bell Uncle
Jimmie tried to throw water on us but could not. He and Miss F. had some fun together before we
all retired to our perspective dormatories.
Sept 2
In the morning Miss Farrar and I went for a drive around the mountain. We had a very pleasant
ride. In the afternoon, I busied myself making a Chinese puzzle. At tea time Miss F. received a
letter from Aunt Jenie. The folks are all well except baby Foley. And they will home on Friday
morning. Miss F. did not go to prayer meeting so I went alone. After I got home I wrote to Mr.
Gould., making arrangements about my room.
Sept 3/63
Went into town in the morning and got soaking wet . So did Miss Farrar. Received a letter from
Rolly. It rained all day and I staid home all day making puzzles. Uncle James got home in the
evening,

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80

Sept. 4
The folks from Cacouna arrived her at eight o’clock. They are all well. Aunt Lizzie is stopping at
our house. I spent part of the evening with Millie, then came home to dinner. In the afternoon I
called at Aunt Jane;s but she was out so, I went to the cottage. And had a nice talk with Millie. I
told about Mary Ann’s treatment of me, and she sympathized with me.
Sept 5
Three years ago today I started for the State of New York intending to make my home there.
Three years and how great the change. How true it is that. God moves in mysterious ways His
wonders to perform.’
Today I spent partly in town, partly at home. Called on Cousin Ann in the morning.
Aunt Tenie, Lizzie, Nurse, Baby & Leslie went in the big carriage with Patricks. I took Miss F.,
Herbert & Bridget & Baby Morton in the wagon. We went round the mountain and had a very
pleasant drive. I asked Miss F. again for her Carte-de-visite, and she seemed unwilling to give it.
She did not absolutely refuse, but gave no decided answer. The evening was spent at home.

Sept 6
Heard Mr. Alexander preach two splendid sermons. In the morning his text was John IV: 18, 29,
in the evening Matt. VII, 7-11. Took dinner and tea at the Cottage and spent the afternoon with
Millie.

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Sept 7/1863
Went into town in the morning, called at Aunt Tenie’s and Fannie’s at the Cottage. In the
afternoon called at Aunt Jane’s and played checkers with Hetty, and stayed to tea. After tea went
to the cottage for sister Millie, and went up to Mrs. Scott’s Found A Huttleworth there. We spent
a pleasant evening staying till eleven.
Sept 8
In town in the morning and received a letter from Richards. He said Mary Ann felt badly at my
last letter, and advises me to write a long loving letter to her to heal her wounded heart. I am
tired of her oft repeated sick fits and they don’t move me, as once they did. As she has not seen
fit to write to me, I will not write till I get an answer to my last. My love is all dying away. Once
I loved her sincerely, but now- I hesitate to say. God knows I tried to do right and bore many
things, but my love has departed. If I am wrong, I feel sorry for it. Called at the cottage and then
at Aunt Jane’s In the afternoon the folks went to Mrs. Eastys’ and Millie went to Miss. Neale’s.
we staid to tea, and had a pleasant time. Miss. Neale and I played six games, three drawn, three
she won and one for me. We got home about ten. Then I wrote to Rolly. The folks stayed at
Easty’s on account of rain, and Mr. Easty came with Uncle Jimmie.
Sept 9
Went into town in the morning. Spent the afternoon in writing and talking to Miss Farrar. In the
evening, she and I went to prayer meeting. I spoke in meeting. Afterwards we went up to Mrs.
Scott’s for a while. I wrote Uncle Eben and Richards. I told John about how affairs stood.

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Sept 10/1863
Wrote to Mary Ann. I told her that I had come to the conclusion that I did not love her as I ought,
so I returned the locket to her.
Incomplete….
Sept 10 …. Found missing bit need to be filled in
……Cote St. Paul. In the evening Miss F. and I went to the Social Meeting. I had a pretty good
time and we got home about tea.
Sept 11th
Spent the morning in going into town. Read, wrote letters, &c, and so spent the day. Called on
Aunt Fanny and staid to dinner. Called on Aunt Jeannie and at the Cottage. We all went to the
cottage to tea. There were so many that Miss F., Millie, Uncle James and I sat at the small table.
We had a very pleasant time. After tea we went in the parlor talking and enjoying ourselves till
quite late. Millie and I went off and had a quiet talk about Mary Ann.

Sept 12
Went into town and called on Mr. Scott, and also on Cousin Ann. When I came home I found
that there was a letter from Miss F. at the store, so I started off after it. On the way I met young
Sutherland, an old schoolmate of mine. After I brought the letter I helped Aunt Tenie peel
peaches until nearly five. Then I went out to call on Miss Louisa Scott. I spent a pleasant hour
and then went to the Claxton’s. He gave me a thousand tracts and some little books. I carried

them home and then went to Uncle William’s to tea. Millie, Lucy, Robert and myself were the
only ones outside of the family present.
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83

Sept 12. Cont.
Our evening passed very pleasantly. Aunt Tenie’s folks were at Miss Neale’s and did not get
home till after tea, and I did not get my trunk from Aunt Jeannie’s till eleven o’clock. After that
time, the folks had all their packing to do. On Friday Grandma gave me four dollars. Saturday
Aunt Tenie gave me a box of figs, box of plums, candles, boots, &c, and Uncle James gave me a
very fine pair of pants.
Sept 13
My last Sabbath in Montreal. Heard Mr. Alexander preach twice. Took dinner at the Cottage
and tea at Aunt Tenie’s. Walked to and from evening meeting with Miss Farrar. In the evening
Aunt Tenie gave me two dollars and a quarter collected from the folks as the balance on last
term.

Sept 14
We started for the West today. I intend to leave by the boat at nine and the others are coming at
twelve. Aunt Tenie has just placed in my possession six dollars from Millie Muir for Uncle
Eben.
Evening 9 ½ PM
Uncle James came up just after breakfast and gave me a pair of boots also two dollars. I walked
down to the boat and waited till the children and baggage came aboard. We left the Canal Basin
about half past nine and had a pleasant ride up to Lachine where the Aunts and Miss Farrar came

aboard. Aunt Lizzie got room No. 10, Aunt Tenie, 12 and I, 14. After dinner I had a very nice
time talking to Miss F. I also spent the evening talking to her.
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84

Sept. 14, cont.
She had guessed about my engagement, so I told her all about it, and how I had now determined
to break it. We had a very interesting time of it. So far my trip has been very pleasant, but alas I
must soon part with my loved ones. Every hour brings the parting nearer. I have obtained
possession of one of Miss F.’s rings and intend to tease her about it. Aunt Tenie bought me some
paper and a pen knife.

Sept 15th
Not sleeping well, I was out in the saloon by four o’clock. It was then just light enough to see.
We were entering at the De Plat Rapids. Before breakfast time we had also ascended the Point
Iroquois, and Galop rapids. The scenery was beautiful, and the sunrise was magnificent.
There was a very strong headwind which lasted all day, and made it rather disagreeable to sit out
on the deck. At Prescott, the two Cameron’s came on board, but as they took a deck passage, I
did not see them till we got to Kingston. I bought a Yankee Nations, and Waverly, and Hattie and
I sat on deck reading them. Hattie dropped her paper, and I stooping to pick it up, her hat blew
off, and before I could secure either, hat and paper flew overboard, and floated slowly down the
river. I was very sorry that Hattie lost her hat for it was a very pretty one, and became her very
well.
At Brockville Mont came aboard with a new student, a brother of Ballantyne’s. Hattie and I sat
on deck till dinner time viewing the beauty of the Thousand islands, but we were very stupidly

called to dinner, just as we came to the best part so that we lost the most magnificent view on the
whole river.
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85

Sept. 15.cont.
Owing to the strong headwind, we were behind time in reaching Kingston and also late in
leaving it. During the evening I was talking to Hattie and Aunt Tenie. As soon as we left
Kingston we had tea and then Hattie and I went and sat on the afterdeck and had a long talk. I
asked her for her photograph but again she seemed disinclined to give it. About nine she went in
and then I wrapped myself up in the plaid, laid my head on the guards and was soon in profound
thought. I reviewed my thoughts and feelings and came to the conclusion that I am over head
and ears in love with Hattie. And yet I dare not tell her of it for several reasons. First I think she
won’t care a rap for me except as a friend; again she knows of my recent engagement and it is far
from likely that she would trust me when I had already broken with one lady. I will not be
through my course for a year and it would not be just the thing to engage her – even if she were
willing – of which I am very doubtful – for so long a time. If nothing turns up to produce a
denouncement I will say nothing till next summer and then if she is disengaged I will speak. My
relatives would be delighted, she is just the woman I need for a wife, and would suit me exactly.
During my reverie my cap blew into the lake and left me bareheaded. I was too much engaged to
make great effort to save it. Pulling the plaid over my head I lay there for quite a while, till I got
cold and tired. Then I went in to bed about ten or half past.
Sept 16th
Was awake at two for want and got up about five. Had to stay in the saloon till breakfast time for
want of a hat. We reached Port Hope about six. When Hattie came out I asked her to get the key

of Aunt Tenie’s trunk so that I might get my rowdy hat out of it. Auntie refused to let me have it,
but when I told her that I had lost my other one she went with me and got it.
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86

Sept. 16.cont
Cameron gave me letters from Rolly and Ross. After breakfast I gave Mont an introduction to
Hattie, and they had a pleasant time together. At Toronto I gave Mont an introduction to Aunt
Tenie, but I could not get a chance to introduce him to Aunt Lizzie. We did not stay long in
Toronto. The sail to Hamilton was delightful. I talked to Hattie most all the way. When we
reached Brown’s Wharf, Richards met me and said that Uncle had been down several times and
wished me to go up to their house. I went with John to see Aunt Anah. She gave me the ten
dollars. Then I went to the store, staid a few minutes and then John and I started down for the
wharf. We ran all the way down from wharf to wharf and were almost used up when we got to
the boat. I got tickets for the folks and when the baggage came from the boat I got it checked. It
did not come up till the cars got in. They were much crowded and it was very difficult to get
seats. Had it not been for Mont, the folks would hardly have got seats. Mont secured a seat for
me beside Hattie for which I felt very grateful. Our ride to Paris was rather unpleasant for we
were very tired, but I had a good time with Hattie. Before we reached Paris I asked Mont to
attend to seeing the ladies off the cars, while I attended to the baggage. We had to wait over half
an hour at Paris. When we got to Brantford they landed us away from the depot and we all had
to walk to the depot. Uncle Andrew met us. After the folks started for home I went back with
the baggage man to get our trunks. After a while a truck came along and we loaded up and got
safely home after a good deal of trouble. I walked home and got there as soon as the baggage
wagon. I felt completely used up when I got home. After tea Uncle and I carried the trunk

upstairs and then we spent a short time in the parlor before we went to bed.

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87

Sept 16. Cont.
This evening was my chance of having any private talk with Hattie. Perhaps it is well with my
happiness that it should not be, for how can I hope to win her love. She would distain the very
idea of taking up with me, after the many chances which she has probably had. She has
completely won away my heart – if heart I have – and I would be apt to make a fool of myself if
I stayed long in her presence. Had I hopes of winning her I would speak before I leave for
Woodstock but as things are I think I had better not unless she by some means comes to a
knowledge of my feelings. I begin to think that she suspects that I am in love with her. God
grant me a right decision.

Sept 17
Spent the morning in writing and talking to Hattie. She wants very much to see my journal of
the trip but I don’t want to let her see it. In the afternoon I accompanied her and Annie into
town, and then went up to the Shenston’s. I saw Reuben and returned his watch. I offered to pay
for the use of it, but he refused. I also saw Miss Shenston. In the course of conversation she said
that she had written to me from Drumbo on Saturday. She had seen Mary Ann there. My letter
was received on Friday and a letter sent in reply on Saturday. M.A. was very sick and will not be
able to work for some time. She is not going back to Woodstock. Miss S. has a very bad opinion
of Mrs. Cox. Reuben was in the room and I could not find out very much, but I intend to call
again and find full particulars. It seems the Dr. in H. told M.A. that there was danger of her

becoming insane and this has frightened her terribly. I am sorry that she feels so badly about my
breaking the engagement, but it is too late.
Rice/Campbell

88

Sept.17, Cont.
She should have thought of this a year ago. Then I loved her sincerely – or at least thought so –
now I do not love her one bit. Every spark of affection has died out. After leaving Shenston’s I
met the girls in Uncle’s store and walked home with them. It began to rain, and Annie ran on,
leaving Hattie and I to follow with the umbrella. It hardly rained at all so we took our time. I
forgot in recording yesterday’s doings to mention a conversation I had with Mont just before
dinner. He has been thinking of breaking his engagement because Miss Patten is not educated .
It is rather strange that he and I should be thinking of the same thing at the same time. But I have
far more reason then he for M.A. is not only not educated ut she has treated me shamefully. I
guess both of our engagements will go into the winds. In the evening Robert and Jim came up. I
was in a meditative mood, thinking of Hattie’s etc. and as I felt no interest in the conversation I
wen into the parlor and lay down on the sofa to think. I fell asleep and slept till the folks were
going to bed. My brain is a regular whirl what with doubts as to what M.A. will do in regard to
breaking the engagement, desires to speak to Hattie and tell what I feel, and fears that she cares
nothing for me.

Sept 18
In the morning I went into town with Hattie’s letter to her mother. While there I got a paper for
Aunt Tenie besides the town paper & “The Globe.” I also bought some glass hearts for a quarter
of a dollar. When I came home I gave Hattie two for her puzzle. She wanted something to mark

her dress so I went into town in the afternoon for some French Chalk. I also got some groceries,
and delivered Mrs. Potter’s parcel.
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89

Sep 18/cont.
Hattie wanted to pay for the chalk and pretended to get vexed because I refused to let her. But I
laughed her out of her vexation. After tea we sat talking till about nine when the Aunts and
Uncles went to bed. Hattie, Annie and I sat up talking till half-past-ten. I do wish I knew
whether I was anything more than a friend to Hattie. I hope so, think from what I have seen, and
yet am afraid to put the matter to a final test. Were it ot for the hated engagement in which I was
recently entangled, I would have no hesitation
Sept 19

Brantford

Went for a walk in the morning with the children. Then went into town, a message from Aunt
Lizzie. In the aftrnoon I picked a lot of French beans, and dug some potatoes. Annie and Hatie
went into town, I began again to read. Salla books. Hattie showed me a place where she seems to
think suited me. I think the book isa very nice one.
Sept 20 Brantford
Went to Mr. Woods Church in the morning, principaly to get a chance to talk to Hattie, but failed
in my endeavor. Heard a very good sermon. In the afternoon Robert was here and of course I got
no chance to speak. In the evening I accompanied the aunts to hear Mr. Stewart while Robert
went with the girls to the Congregational church,. Mr. Stewart preached splendid sermon on he
subject of Christ before Pilate.

Rice/Campbell

90

Sept 21
Eight a.m. Got up quite early and wrote a piece of poetry to Hattie. I asked her last night to come
down early this morning so that I might talk to her. If she gives me the chance I intend to ask her
if she does or will love me. I may just as well know now as any time. Delay will do me no
good, while promptness may win all. I was foolish not to speak while on the boat.
Evening
As I expected Hattie came down early, and I gave her the poetry to read. Then I asked her for
her love, but she said she loved no one. She would not give me a very decided answer, but
appeared determined to discourage me. I could not get much chance for talk, for the folks were
passing back and forth through the room. I fancy she cares more for me than she pretends. At
any rate, I am bound to make her love me if possible. She seems to think that my love is not
genuine, but time will prove that to her. God helping me I will win her for my wife.
When Uncle drove over to the store he took my valise and parcel. I staid at the house till half
past eleven, and then started for town. It was very hard to say goodbye to all. Called at the store
for my baggage, and went up to the cars. They were much behind time, and were late at Paris. I
checked my valise at Paris for Woodstock but had not time to get my trunk out of the baggage
room. I thought I would have to stay till seven, but the baggage Master promised to send it on by
the evening train. I felt quite sad coming up on the train, which was crowded. Found all things
right at Gould’s and went up to the Institute to see Mont. He told me that Mary Ann is
completely crazy. He called on her on Thursday and could not get a rational saying from her. He

saw her again on Friday and had some conversation with her. She blames my relatives for my
wishing to break the engagement.
Rice/Campbell

91

Sept 21 Cont.
Poor girl, I am very sorry to find that she takes it so hard, but she should have thought of this
long before she was trifling with me, but no love mingles with it. Little did I dream that love
could go so completely extinguished. Mary Ann’s friends will blame all her sickness on me,
although it has been plain to all that she has been failing for three or four years. It is true, as I
knew, and as Mont said, that this will blast my reputation in this part of Canada. Be it so then; I
am sorry for it, but I feel guiltless. I have been “more sinned against than sinning.”
Mary Ann denies being jealous of Eliza or Mary Bland, and now is sure that Hattie has been the
cause of the rupture. She will not admit that she is at all to blame. Mont says that her nerves are
completely shattered, that she can never get over it, and she herself thinks she won’t live till
spring. I hope this is not all true. I hope – sincerely hope – that she may still be spared to a life
of happiness. Mont is very cold to me and evidently thinks I am altogether to blame. I fear that
it will prove a barrier to our friendship, but I hope not. I hear that Mrs. Cox has gone to Drumbo
to see M.A. The miserable hypocritical wretch. After causing it all, she will sympathize with
her, and not with me. But, God helping me, I will brave it all. Today I paid Gould’s folks ten
dollars which I owed on last year’s term’s board. Also paid Carryer one year’s pew rent, $4.50.
Went to the Post Office but got nothing. I wonder why that letter of Miss Shenston’s has not yet
arrived. It was mailed a week ago last Saturday. I renewed my subscription for box 182. In the
evening my trunk arrived and Mr. Gould and I carried it up from the Depot. I did not unpack it
as I felt cold and unwell. Very few of the students are back yet. I have seen none of the teachers

but Mr. Hankinson.

Rice/Campbell

92

Sept 21 Cont.
And now on my return to Woodstock, let me review my actions during my absence from it. June
23rd, nearly three months ago, I left this town to go to Montreal. After a day and a half spent in
H., I took passage on the “Magnet,” and after two days of pleasant sailing, arrived safely in
Montreal. I stayed four weeks at Uncle George’s during which time I preached twice; once at
Cote St. Paul, June 28th and once at the German Church July 12th. On the 13th of July was our
Jubilee at which I officiated as spokesman for the grandchildren. On the 16 th our family picture
was taken at the back of the mountain. On the 21st, I moved to Aunt Tenie’s where I remained
during the rest of my stay in Montreal. On the following day Uncle Eben & family
started for home. On the 30th, Aunt Tenie, Lizzie, and children started for Cacouna, Aunt Jeannie
and the others having started on the 20th. Henceforth, Hattie and I were left alone, and a pleasant
time we had. We rode, talked, walked, visited, &c. On the whole had a splendid time for the
five following weeks, during which time I preached in the Baptist chapel Aug 16 th and in the
German church Aug. 30th. My birthday occurred on the 15th, but was very dull this year. On
Sept 4th all the Cacouna folks arrived in safety, looking remarkable well. On the 10 th I wrote to
Mary Ann, asking a release from my engagement on the grounds of lack of love. I felt that I had
lost my affection for her, and that now I loved her not.
On the few following days I paid my farewell visits to various persons and places, and on the
fourteenth we started for the West. Had a very pleasant trip and enjoyed it very much. Spent
most of my time talking to Hattie. The 15th was very windy and several hats & caps went

overboard, among others Hattie’s & mine.

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93

That night I woke to the consciousness that I loved Hattie. On the 16 th we arrived in H., twelve
hours behind time. We staid there two hours, thus giving me time to see Richards, and then we
started for B. where we arrived safely after much trouble. There I stayed till this morning, when
I again returned to Woodstock to resume my studies for another year. These three months have
been productive of much joy and great sorrow. They have been the occasion but not cause of my
breaking an engagement which once was deemed unbreakable. It has caused me sorrow in many
ways, but also has much joy been produced by the varied experiences of three months. With
Holland I feel that I can heartily say
“Thank God for evil – for it has done me good.” But why distract my brain with this? “Tis past
– let that suffice.”
Sept 22 ok
Went to school for the first time this term. Recited two lessons; Christian Theology & Exegesis
of Romans. Our lessons are pretty well arranged. Three days in the week we have Hebrew the
last hour in the morning, and Church History the first in the afternoon. Two days in the week we
have Christian Theology the second hour in the morning & Exegesis the last hour. This
afternoon I spent in unpacking and managing my things. Sent Torrance my “Harmony of the
Gospels.” Paid my incidentals, bought a new top for my lamp, some oil, &c.

Sept 23rd

* Beechnutting

Recited my first lessons in Hebrew and Church History. After tea Emmons and I went out Beech
nutting and got as many as we could carry.
Rice/Campbell

94

Sept 24/1863
Miss Vining and Kitchen were here to tea.
Sept 26
Yesterday my stove was put up. Today I received the long expected letter from Drumbo and
found that it was not worth fretting about. It says nothing about releasing me from my
engagement, but merely expresses sorrow for what has occurred, &c, &c. It went to Montreal,
then Hamilton, and then here, and took two weeks in the journey.
I wrote Aunt Tenie, & Hattie, and then went for a walk. This evening our Missionary Society
held its first meeting. Coutts was elected President, McGregor, Vice and Brierly, Secretary.
Gave 25 cents collection. Dr. Fyfe lectured to us. His subject was the true Missionary Spirit,
that it consisted in fervent earnest piety, and great love and sympathy for perishing man. During
the lecture I left my utter unfitness for the work of a foreign missionary. Some things Dr. said
made me think that it was neither wise nor prudent for me to think of the work. I am almost
persuaded to give up the idea.
Sept 27
Dr. preached in the morning from Philippians 1:23, “for I am in a strait betwixt two, &c.” It was
Mrs. Topping’s funeral sermon, and was a very fine one. Spent the afternoon in reading, and in
the evening heard Dr. preach from Luke XIX, 22 “Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee.”
Our evening prayer meeting was a very good one. Spent the afternoon in reading, and in the
evening heard the Dr. preach from Luke x1x,”Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee. Our

evening prayer meeting was a very good one.

Rice/Campbell

95

Sept 28
Our Hebrew lesson today was very hard, so also was our Church History, but we got through
both very well. I fixed my book case this afternoon, and wrote something for Hattie. After eight
I felt tired and lay down on the bed to rest. I was sucking Lozenges when one slipped into my
throat and stuck there. I found that it was not going to stop my breathing or cause serious
unconsciousness, so I lay still and marked the sensation produced. Wrote a long letter to Rolly in
answer to his of the 14th.

Sept 29
In our today’s lesson in Christian Theology the question to be discussed was “Is the seat of
religion in the head or the heart, or in both?” Dr. seemed to favor my view more than that of any
of the class. This evening Mrs. Vinton – for many years a missionary in Burmah, lectured to us.
She did indeed give a very interesting lecture. After she had finished, we were addressed by Mr.
Luther, a graduate of Princeton Theological Seminary, who has dedicated himself to the work of
Burmah missions, and who expects to sail in November with Mrs. Vinton. We had a very
pleasant evening of it, and I trust were benefited. After getting home I copied something for
Hattie.
Sept 30th
Yesterday Mont read me a letter which he had written to Mary Ann, at her request, about me. In
it he tells her what I have said to him in regard to the matter, and advises her to release me from

the engagement. He also tells her that she is doing wrong by giving way as she is doing. I rather
think that I was mistaken in my ideas about Mont being cold with me.
Rice/Campbell

96

Seot 30. cont
He seems to be again returning to his old friendliness. Today I have been reading, writing and
studying. Before school, I called on Mrs. Vinton and Mr. Luther and had some pleasant
conversation with them. I also called on Mrs. Fyfe, or rather I saw her when I called on Mrs. V.
After tea, Emmons and I went Beech nutting, but with little success. I sat up studying till quite
late. Got letter from Millie.

Oct 1
The beginning of the last quarter of the year. Just to think that nine months have passed since the
New Year and yet it appears so short. Today I got permission to go to Brantford tomorrow. He is
going away next Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, so I got to leave to stay till Thursday. I will
have to write a sermon during that time, but that is all. Our question today was “Is Christianity
Historical or Philosophical? Is it founded on facts or principles?” We all took the ground that it
was founded on principles. In the evening, Emmons and I went beech nutting. We brought
home a great quantity. I had my pockets full besides an armful of branches. I spent some time
writing out a plan for the Dr. on the text, Luke XXIV v. 47, “Beginning in Jerusalem.” I have
been teasing Mrs. Gould, making her believe that I am married. She almost believes it, but is not
quite certain.

Rice/Campbell

97

Oct 8/93
Home again after an absence of nearly a week. And now for a description of what I did and
suffered. One Friday I recited my lesson as usual. Secondly I did not get away from school till
three. I then came home, changed my coat, and started for the Post Office, but got no letter. I
left the office precisely at three and took up my line of march for B. Not liking the railroad track
to walk on, and having no money to pay my fare on the cars, I walked, taking the carriage road.
I hoped to get a ride part of the way. The road was pretty good, but rather wet. Soon after
passing Eastward, a team came up loaded with the wheel of a thrashing machine. Thinking it
better to ride than walk, I halted and asked for a ride. I rode about five miles, but the horses
walked, and the driver stopped twice, so that I did not get along any faster than if I had walked.
It was rather cold riding. The trees looked beautiful for they were just changing the colour of
their leaves. I reached the toll-gate halfway to Brantford about dark, and the rest of the journey I
had to perform in the dismal darkness. I was continually thinking myself further on than I really
was and was constantly being disappointed. I had no way of telling the time, and supposed that I
could not reach Brantford till eleven. On the contrary it was hardly nine when I got there. So I
walked twenty six miles in six hours. I consider it pretty good walking, being four miles an hour.
I found company at the house, so I went round to the kitchen and rested myself and got
something to eat. Then I went into the parlor and surprised the folks. Mrs. Potter was there. We
sat up till twelve or after. On Sat.3rd I spent most of the day in the house. Went into town in the
afternoon, with Annie and Hattie who were going to Mrs. Wilkes to spend the evening. I wrote

part of a letter to Millie. It came on to rain very hard and the girls got Drenched.

Rice/Campbell

98

Oct.8/63, cont
Going into town I asked Hattie if she would love me, but she said she could not. I could not
learn her reasons, for Annie was so close to us that we could not talk freely. Sabbath morning it
rained, but held up about church time. Annie and I went to church with Uncle. Mr. Stewart
preached an excellent sermon from Col. II: 10, “Ye are complete in him.” It was communion
Sabbath and I remained. Mr. Stewart called on me for the first prayer of Communion. I rode
home with the Morton’s. I spent the afternoon in reading.
I also had a long talk with Hattie, and she gave me her reasons for refusing me, viz: - she could
not marry one whom she did not devotedly love, and she did not so love me; and again that she
would never marry a minister. There were her main reasons. I could not drive her from those
positions, though I tried hard enough. I resolved not to give her the letter I had written as I had
had a good opportunity of speaking to her.
Robert Morton was out in the afternoon, but not one of the folks would go to church and I had to
go alone. Mr. Riendeau of Grande Ligne preached. On Monday I wrote to Millie, and about
noon we all went into town. Aunt Lizzie, Aunt Tenie & Hattie, and I had our Carte de Visite
taken at Smiths. I had half a dozen as I had no more money, but each of the others had a dozen.
The negatives looked splendid and the pictures will probably be very good. I was to call on
Wednesday to get them. We transacted a little more business and went home to dinner. About
four I went to Shenston’s to see Reuben. I had a long talk with him about Cook’s horse and the
watch, but he told me a very straight story. I also had a talk with Miss Shenston about M.A. She

thinks I could not act differently if I tried, unless I acted anything but a straight forward part. I
stayed to tea.
Rice/Campbell

99

Oct 8/63, cont.
On Tuesday I wrote to Uncle Eben & Richards, and gave the letters to Aunt Tenie to take to
Hamilton. There was a letter to Hattie in town but Uncle forgot it, so I walked in and got it for
her. I had another talk with her, but she utterly refused to give me any ground of hope. She said
I must think no more of her, must forget her, &c. I told her how wrong it was to refuse a man
simply for being a minister; for it showed that she preferred a life of ease to one of labor in
Christ’s cause. She then withdrew this objection, and said she would marry even a minister if
she loved him. Still she would neither say that she loved me now, nor give me reason to hope
that she ever would love me. I don’t know what to think. Either she loves another, or has loved
and been disappointed, and doubts all men. From what I have heard, I gather that she had a love
affair with Frank, and another with Mr. Cross, and perhaps these have made her suspicious. I
pray there are two main reasons why she does not or will not love me, or at least let me know it.
One is that she knows that if she becomes my wife, a life of toil awaits her, and she must give up
many worldly pleasures, and inconsistencies in which she now indulges, and these she does not
feel inclined to forgo. The second reason may be that she doubts the sincerity of my love. Not
that she thinks I am deceiving her but she fancies that I am self-deceived. She is not to blame for
this thought for any young lady might hesitate to love a man who had just broken with another
lady.
If the first is her reason, it may soon be remedied, for she is, I believe, a true Christian and the
very reason will cause her to see the wrong she does to the cause of Christ by an ins=consistent

life and love for Jesus will cause her to live more consistently, and then the objection will have
vanished.
Rice/Campbell

100

Oct.8/63 cont.
If the second is her reason, time will prove its truth or falsity, and if I really love her, a year or
two will prove the strength of my affection and convince her that I am worthy of her love. If in
the meantime she should love and marry another I will just have to bear it patiently, and bid her
“God Speed.” If she does or could love another better, far better is it that she should marry that
other, than that she should marry me. God knows I believe I love her, sincerely, but time alone
can show whether it is a lasting feeling or a transitory passion. I think she is wise after all, for
her course may spare us the utterance of many sad truths. I told her plainly I was fettered now,
and could not speak out plainly, but that next July I would be free and then I would talk to her as
I wished. I also promised to drop the subject till then. The Aunts went out that afternoon, and
left Hattie, Annie and I at home. I read to the girls for some time and also talked to them. I
played with Shirley for about an hour. I wrote some at my sermon.
On Wednesday I went into town, and got a letter for Hattie and another for Aunt Tenie. I called
on Mrs Tisdale and she gave me a letter for her son. She had some grapes to send up, but I had
no way to carry them. I called at Smiths, but the photographs were not ready, owing to the bad
weather. Annie is to call for mine. I met Mr. & Mrs. Stewart there, and received a cordial
invitation to tea, which I accepted. In the afternoon I repaired some things for Aunt Tenie &
Lizzie. Aunt Tenie gave me her Arquette. I told Auntie to give my Carte de Visite to Hattie,
Aunts Tenie & Lizzie & keep one for herself and send the other two to me. I again asked Hattie
for hers and she partly promised. I gave her ring back, accompanied by a short note stating that

it would not be right to keep her ring against her will, asking her kind remembrance of me who
had always tried to act the part of a true friend, and wished abundant blessings as her lot in life
Rice/Campbell

101

Oct 8/63
I don’t know what she thought, for I walked off as soon as I gave her the note. If I can’t have her
love me, I will at least have her respect me. About four, I went into town to Mr. Stewart’s. I had
a very pleasant time talking to him, and left about seven. After mailing a couple of letters for
Aunt Tenie I went home, arriving as they were at tea.
Robert came over and staid till after eleven. As he started we noticed a fire in town, and he,
Uncle Andrew & I started for it. It was opposite the Methodist Church. As soon as I saw where
it was I started back to tell the folks. It was about one before they went to bed. It was hard to
part from them especially from those who were going to Montreal. After they left me, and I may
say I bade them goodbye for I did not expect them to be up early enough for me to bid them
goodbye before I started. Aunt Tenie gave me dollar and a quarter and tried to make me promise
not to walk, but I would not promise. I prepared everything for an early start. I tried to write but
did not feel in the humour, so I threw myself down, clothes and all to sleep.
This morning I woke about six. I expected to be away by four, but overslept myself. Before I
could get away Annie came down to see me off. I started to walk to Paris, but within a mile of
Paris, I got a ride and rode right to the depot. The G.W.R. train was due at 10:35 but owing to
the excursion did not arrive till 11:55. I got to Woodstock about one. It was storming fearfully
when I stopped here, but soon cleared up, and I came home. I have spent the afternoon in
studying, or at least trying to, but I don’t succeed very well. Mr. Gould, Mabee & Smith are off
to the excursion. So are Mont & Northrup. So ends this excursion of mine, very pleasant has it

been, and yet some painful things have happened.

Rice/Campbell

102

Oct 8/63 cont.
Frank and Agnes came up to stay to tea. I went to my own rooms and staid there till tea-time. In
the evening I went to the German Church to hear Robert preach. His text was Matt V.6: “Blessed
are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled.” His divisions were
first, the subject, righteousness; 2nd the action, hungering and thirsting; 3rd the commendation,
blessed; 4th the promise, they shall be filled. He spoke about 30 minutes, and I was well pleased
with him. We got back to the Baptist church in time to hear part of an interesting sermon by Mr.
Alexander, on the contrast between the prayers of the Pharisees and Publicans. After prayer
meeting, Mss F. and I walked home together, and spent the evening in conversing on various
subjects.
Oct 9
During the night Mabee & Smith got home, but Mr. Gould did not come. Mont also staid over
till today noon. A man who was hurt on the railroad last night was brought in here, and lies in a
very precarious condition. He fell into a cattle guard and has been insensible ever since. The
lessons today came very hard on me, but will be easier soon. This afternoon I had a talk with
Mont. He saw M.A. and reported that she is getting better slowly. She returned to me Dr.
Spring’s work on the “Power of the Pulpit,” Mont says that her uncle offered her eight hundred
dollars for my letters that he might sue me, but she refused. The old scamp might sue all he
pleased, for he could get nothing out of me. If M.A. acts right, she will burn my letters, for they
are of no use to her, but are dangerous to me. She can do what she pleases for I don’t care a cent.

If she means to hold me, she can hold to her heart’s content; if she means to sue she can sue and
get her trouble for her pains, or she can do what she pleases.
Rice/Campbell

103

Oct. 9 cont
I will await further particulars before saying more. I paid another shilling to that tract society,
the third in as many moths. My right foot is quite lame, and has been so since last Friday. It
pains me considerably.
Received a letter from Robert today, telling me of what Mr. Claxton had said in regard to his
studying for the ministry. Poor Robert doesn’t know that I knew all this some time ago. I have
finished my sermon for the Doctor. It takes twenty pages of note paper, on the text, “A man shall
be as an hiding place, and a covert from the tempest; as rivers of water in a dry place, as the
shadow of a great rock in a weary land” Isa. XXXII. 2. Was in visiting at Mabee’s room for a
while. Mr. Gould got home tonight.
Oct 10
Handed in my sermon to Dr. Fyfe. Spent a great part of the day in preparing a new account
book. Also got up my Hebrew Lesson. Led the prayer meeting in the evening. Borrowed
Titcomb’s letters from Northrup. Mont is off to Dundas, Chesney to Ingersoll, & Fitch to
Bronte.
Oct 11
Wrote to Ross in answer to his of Sept 16th. Coming home to dinner, Dr. Fyfe overtook me to go
for a short walk, as he wished to talk to me. I consented and we went to the Post Office and
back. He questioned me about the facts connected with my breaking my engagement with Mary
Ann. It seems somebody has told him a long lingo about me. I told him the truth, as fully as I

thought proper. I don’t see what he has to do with it, or what business it is of his. In the
afternoon I wrote along letter to Aunt Tenie. It consisted of sixty pages of note paper, closely
written I was up till very late.
Rice/Campbell

104

Oct. 13
Today I got through my lesson quite easily, as they were not hard. I borrowed Richard’s
Fasquelle and Higgins French dictionary, and after dinner I went to the book store and bought a
Charles XII. I also bought another blank book. Having no money I got trusted for a few weeks.
I called in to see J.R. cook about that horse. He still denied that Shenston paid. I met Ratcliff,
but had very little time to talk. I received a letter from Annie enclosing two of my Carte de
Visites, and one of Hattie’s. I was very glad to get the latter, for I hardly expected that she would
give it to me. I will indeed prize it highly and will make it my aim to gain possession of the
“Original,” as well as it is not as good looking as she is. It makes her look too old. Mont asked
me today to go out with him to Embro next time he goes, and I partially promised to do so. Mr.
Impelt has come to his senses at last, but is still very low.
Oct 15
Did not go to bed last night till nearly four o’clock and today I feel the effects of it. In our
theology, Dr. Fyfe gave us a lecture on the most distinguished Theological writers of ancient and
modern times. Have been very busy today, getting up tomorrow’s lessons. Received a note from
Lis. She is going to Berthier-en-haut. They removed Mr. Impelt to-night. The doctor thought
that the noise of the cars hurt him more than it would to remove, so they took him to the other
end of the town.
Oct. 16th

Worked hard at my Fasquelle thinking that it came off today, but found that it is not till
Wednesday. Spent the afternoon in translating Hebrew and writing to Robert. Went for a walk
after tea, and then came back to study.
Rice/Campbell

105

Oct 16, cont.
About nine the notion seized me to write a piece of poetry to Hattie. I at first intended to write
an acrostic, but could not get my thoughts into Rhyme. I then tried blank verse, and succeeded
pretty well. The piece contains 66 lines, and is headed “Lines suggested by a friend’s portrait.”
It was long after one before I had finished writing, revising, copying and recopying it.

Oct. 17th
Our class met with Dr. Fyfe to read skeletons. Mine was on Ps. CVI:14-15. During our class I
was called for, and being excused, I found Edwin Thayer waiting to see me. He had come to
town on business, and thought he would call on me. I was glad to see him. Went down town
with him, and then to the depot. He went up to Ingersoll by the noon train. I spent the afternoon
in writing. Wrote to Annie in answer to one received on Thursday. Went to prayer meeting, but
did not take part, as the time was fully occupied.

Oct. 18
Dr. Fyfe preached both times, and gave two excellent sermons. In the afternoon Willis called on
me and staid to tea. We have had a very nice day. It threatened rain, but did not rain. I suppose
this is Aunt Tenie’s last Sabbath in the West. I expected to hear from her but did not.

Oct. 19
Received a letter from Rolly. He is still preaching with success and seems to be enjoying himself
at his work.
Rice/Campbell

106

Oct. 20/ 1863
Dr. went to Hamilton today to attend the meeting of the Missionary Convention. He will be back
in time for Thursday’s lessons. Received a letter from Richards. He says that it is false to say he
sympathizes with M.A. more than me. He blames both, but her the most. He also says that this
affair is not going to interfere with our friendship. He tells me that he intends getting married in
January. I am glad of it for I think it will do him good to settle down. On the whole I am well
pleased with his letters and it has been to me like oil upon the troubled waters.

Oct 21
Dr. was away in Hamilton today. I had only one lesson, French. My exercise, the first in nine
years, had twenty seven errors, but most of them rose from my ignorance of the idioms. I spent
the day in reading, studying, and writing. I wrote an answer to “Rock me to Sleep,” but it does
not please me very well. I intend sending it to Aunt Tenie for criticism. I have adopted the plan
of taking a walk everyday immediately after supper. I find I need plenty of exercise.
Oct. 22/1863
Dr. was home in time to hear our lessons today. We got along well but had a pretty long
discussion in regards to the meaning of Ktisi in Romans VIII: 19-23. Mont held that it meant the
unconverted part of mankind, while I held that it meant the whole creation, animate and

inanimate. Dr. agreed with my view of it. I have not yet heard from Aunt Tenie, and I feel low
spirited. I need a nice long, loving letter from her to set me up again. Spent the afternoon in
studying and had a walk for an hour after tea.
Rice/Campbell

107

Oct. 23
It rained a good deal today and was wet and muddy. We had a hard Hebrew lesson, but recited it
well. Our church history was a failure. Dr. was so disgusted that he gave us the same lesson
over again.
This evening I attended the exercises of the Adelphian for the first time since the first meeting in
last term. The meeting was a wretched one. Brierly declaimed, “The Burial of Sir John Moore,”
and old McDonald declaimed a piece which was but half committed. The debate was a poor
affair. The question was “Resolved that the character of a nation is developed more by physical
count more than direction” The speakers were Fitch and Torrance, Affirmative, and McPhail and
Timpany, Negative. The speeches were miserable. Timpany’s was the only one that contained
arguments, while Torrance made the only speech. The negative gained the decision. The only
redeeming thing about the meeting was the “Basket” the ladies’ paper, which was capital and was
read by the editress, Miss Ward.
Oct. 24
The exercises this morning were pretty good. After exercises we got out Theological text books.
They are very neat looking books, costing about 60 cents. Clarke and I took a walk down to the
book store. I spent the afternoon in studying and writing. This evening the Judson Missionary
Society had its monthly meeting. The exercises consisted of orations by Torrance, the
Missionary Garland, by the editor, Brierly and an essay by Alex McDonald. After meeting I

went to the Post Office, but got nothing. I can’t imagine what kept Aunt Tenie from writing.
Surely my long letter merited an answer. I guess she will answer when I write her another as
long.
Rice/Campbell

108

Oct. 25/63
Dr. preached two very good sermons today from 2 Tim. III: 5 and Dan V, 27. Our prayer
meeting was also very good and well attended.

Oct 26th
Dr. finished his lecture on the Donatists. It was very interesting and instructive. We read the
second Psalm today. Today is court day in town I believe. Paid Mr. Ballantyne for my Theology.
It was 60 cents. Wrote to Richards.

Oct. 27
This morning Dr. Fyfe told me that the faculty had decided to give two prizes – one to the
Theological, the other to the Literary students – for the best speakers. The prizes were to be
awarded next July, and all are permitted to compete. Dr. is going to give the competitors some
lessons in Elocution, and most of our class are going into the thing, not for the prize, but to
benefit by the drill. If we can win the prize, so much the better. It is likely that the tug will lie
between Coutts, Torrance, Mont, Fitch and myself. I intend to study hard, and see if I can’t win
the honors away from all. Have not yet heard from Aunt Tenie. Today is the second anniversary
of M.A.’s visit to Woodstock, a visit fraught with ill-fated consequences. Little did I think then

that things would be as they now are. But “Man proposes and God disposes.”

Rice/Campbell

109

Oct 30
Told Mr. Wells today that I intended competing for that prize. Fitch and I have already joined the
class, and it is likely that Chesney, Clarke and Pierce will. There are doubts about Mont and
Northrup. Tonight is the evening for the Adelphian meeting but I guess I won’t attend.
Oct. 31 – Noon
Handed in skeletons to Dr. on Ps. VIII, 11-12. It was not very well digested but passed muster.
Elder Rees was in during the exercise. The committee to collect from the students towards
printing those bills, reported that thirty dollars had been subscribed. After school Coutts and I
had a walk. I got a letter from Millie. She has received a letter from M.A. and enclosed for me
to read. It is a queer letter. Millie has been sick again. Poor girl, I fear for her life. I don’t think
she will live long. She says Aunt Tenie and company reached home on Saturday last, in good
health. Hattie desired to be remembered to me.
Evening
About one o’clock I sat down to write to Millie, and was at it till a quarter to six, and all this time
close at it, except about half an hour at tea. I wrote as much as twelve pages of ordinary note
paper. In the letter I gave her a long extra from Timothy Titcomb’s “Necessary Burdens.” I
wrote her a good, brotherly confidential letter. I enclosed a note to Hattie containing those lines
on her Carte-de-Visite. After finishing the letter I went for my usual walk and posted the letter. I
went away up the twelfth line. On my way back I met Mr. Boa, and walked up with him. Went

to the Institute and visited in Clarke’s room till prayer time. Our prayer meeting was not very
interesting. Then I went up to Mont’s room, and read a note that M.A. sent him. We went to the
Post Office and then stood talking on the Institute steps till long after ten.
Rice/Campbell

110

Nov 1/1863
Ten months of the year gone never to return. Two short months and 1863 sill have passed into
oblivion. Today I have had a pleasant and yet a sad time. At breakfast Mrs. Gould spoke of
going to Ingersoll to church. I thought it would be a good chance for me to go, especially as it
was communion Sabbath at Elder Beardsall’s church. I had not time to go for Willis to take my
track district, but just as I drove out the gate I met him, and he agreed to go round for me. The
ride to Ingersoll was pleasant. We got there about church time. I went to our church and the
elder had commenced when I got in. It was fortunate for me, for he said afterwards that he
would have put me in the pulpit if I had got in a little sooner. He preached from the text, “What
think ye of Christ?” and gave a good sermon. I see they have put up a gallery in the church. It
looks quite odd. After communion I went home with Mr. Hawkes and staid to dinner. He has
moved to near where Wilson’s church is being built. Mr. & Mrs. J. were very kind and staid till
nearly four. I then went down to Mr. Bowers. Mrs. Bowers is very low, not expected to live. I
had a little conversation with her, and it was delightful to see what a happy state of mind she was
in. She was perfectly willing to go if the Lord called, but still did not long for it. She asked me
to read and pray with her, and I did so. I read in the Psalms IXII, IXIII, IXV, and the latter part
of IXVI, and then prayed. The doctor would not let me talk much to her, so I left very soon,
especially as I expected to have to walk to Beachville to meet Gould’s folks, who expected to be
in B. all afternoon.

Sam Sheil started for Cleveland on Saturday to take a four month’s course in medicine, so I did
not go up to Shells. Gould’s folks had not left Ingersoll, but were still at Reuben Carroll’s when
I passed. Gould saw me and stopped me.
Rice/Campbell

111

Nov./ 1/1863, cont
When I found that he was still in town I went round to Douthwaites, but finding Miss O. with
her beau, I did not go in. I found that Mary Bland was again at home, and that they were
expecting me out to Embro. I then went to Carroll’s to wait till Gould was ready to start for
home. While there I had some grapes to eat, but having to start before finishing them, Mr. C. got
some paper to wrap them in and added quite a lot more. When we got to Beachville we stopped
at Canfields and I had a nice talk with Phedora. We reached Woodstock just as church was out. I
went up to prayer meeting, and spoke of the death bed scene I had witnessed. After meeting I
had some bread and milk, and didn’t get to my own room till nearly eleven.

Nov. 2
Got an excuse from Dr. for being at church only once yesterday. Got through all my lessons very
well today, especially the church history in which I fancy I was best in the class. While in the
Ch. Hist. class it began to rain, and has rained ever since. After tea I went to Pickard’s and we
went to the book store, and then back to Pickard’s, where I got out my Greek lesson and staid till
sometime after nine. It was dark coming home, so dark I had to grope my way more than see it.
Now, after ten o’clock it is still raining violently. Mrs. G.’s mother and brother are here tonight,
having come into town, and being unable to return on account of the rain. Mr. Gould, Bent and
another man started for the Pines this morning to work on Bent’s land, but I fancy they will have

a hard time in this rain. Tonight I finished reading Titcomb’s “Lessons in Life.” I think the book
is both interesting and instructive, and I like all but one feature. He seems to have too much of
that sentimental religion.
Rice/Campbell

112

Nov. 5
We have had beautiful weather for the last three days, but these are indication of a snow storm
brewing. Today is the famous “Guy Fawkes Day” as well as the anniversary of the battle of
Inkerman. I have not yet heard from Aunt Tenie although she has been nearly two weeks in
Montreal. I’ll fix her when I write. Returned Higgins “French Dictionary” as he was going to
use it, and borrowed Pickard’s. Also returned Northrup’s “Timothy Titcomb’s Lessons in Life.”
I like Titcomb as a writer. He is sterling, and sound in most points, but has too much sentimental
religion.

Nov. 6th
The contest about the senior orator for the public meeting came off last night. The committee in
handing in their report left that place vacant and recommended the Society fill up the vacancy
from the senior class or also authorize the class to do so. It was moved in amendment that
Pickard be the orator and another amendment was moved, viz., that Mont be the orator. The last
came first in order and after three ties Mont lost his skeleton by one vote. Mont and his
adherents are hopping mad and flared out about Pickard, but he takes it cool. I am very sorry for
it all, neither of them had acted in a proper manner.

Rice/Campbell

113

Nov. 7
This morning Dr. Fyfe and Mr. Cooke met all those who had signed that paper offering to watch
the building for the purpose of paying something to them. Being out of the number I was
present. Dr. said that objections might be railed ? by outsiders, and some might care if students
were allowed to watch. He himself did not feel any fear nor did he doubt any of those who had
signed the paper, but for the purpose of quieting any murmurs which might arise, he proposed to
select from those boarding in the building, those who had been longest there, and make out a list
of them and let them watch for a while, to see how it would work.
After dismissing us, he came to me and asked me to go to Beachville and Embro tomorrow,
making some half apology for not asking me sooner. I consented though somewhat vexed at his
delaying till Saturday. The morning exercises were not at all good. Champ, Davey, Jas. Rice,
Shell, J.B. Moore and Kern spoke. The special class met with Dr. at half past ten. He gave us
some very good instructions, and we had some good speaking. Brierly spoke a piece on prayer,
Higgins gave us “Cicero’s oration against Catiline” and Coutts gave “Cataline’s reply.” Fitch
spoke on “Memory.” In the afternoon I made arrangements with Willis to go round my track
district. I then went for a walk in order to study my sermon. It was nearly tea time when I got
home. Pickard came in about five and stayed till half past eight, working at a couple of puzzles
of mine. Mont and Chesney went up to Beachville to stay at Deacon Carroll’s so as to hear me
preach. I did not attempt to sit up late for I could not study.

Rice/Campbell

114

Nov. 9/1863
Yesterday I was awake very early, but did not get up till seven. I lay awake thinking. Had I
depended on Mrs. Gould to wake me, as she promised, I would have been in a pretty fix. I
suppose having her husband home again made her forget all about it. At about a quarter to nine I
started to walk to Beachville. It was a beautiful morning and I enjoyed myself very much. I
studied my sermon all the way, and had a very good time. One of my sermons was written in
full, and this I reserved for Embro, but the other was only in the form of a plan and had never
been written out. This I intended to use in Beachville. I arrived about ten o’clock went to Mr.
Cook’s but could not make them hear, so I went for a walk, and then sat in the church till
meeting time. I made Mont come into the pulpit with me. He gave out the first hymn, the 563 rd
hymn. He then went down from the pulpit and left me to preach. I took for my text, Zech. XIII:
7, the latter clause of the verse, “At evening time it shall be light.” I was strongly interested in
what I said, and spoke with earnestness, and I saw at least one woman crying. I spoke for over
forty minutes, and felt well. After prayer the closing hymn was 174 th, and then the benediction
was pronounced. Deacon Carroll promised to take me out to Embro, so I went to his house to
dinner. I had a very nice time, and soon got a fine play with his little boy. In the afternoon, Dea.,
Mont, Chesney, and I rode out to Embro, and had tea at Midgley’s and then went over to Chapel.
There was a pretty good congregation, and I must say I like the Embro people, they are so
attentive. This time Chesney went into the pulpit with me. I gave out the first hymn, the 213 th,

and then he read Heb X, prayed and gave out Hymn 563. I then preached for nearly forty-five
minutes from Isa XXXII.2.

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Nov.9/63
The last hymn was the 285th. I felt very uneasy part of the time, and did not have as much
freedom as in the morning, but Chesney said I spoke more feelingly. After service we had a few
minutes conversation with Mr., Mrs., and Eliza Bland. Mary was not out. They gave me a
cordial invitation to visit them and I intend to do so. Our ride back to Beachville was very
pleasant, for it was a clear starlit night, and brought forcibly to our minds the words of the
Psalmist, “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmaments showeth his handiwork.” It
was nearly twelve o’clock before we thought of sleep.
This morning we were up at six, got a good breakfast, and were off in plenty of time for the cars.
I received a dollar and a half for my services yesterday, fifty cents from Embro and one dollar
from Beachville. We got home in good time, and managed to get ready for our lessons, thought
it hard work to many & my French lesson. I had not time to prepare my church History lesson,
and Clarke and Fitch were in the same predicament. I spent most of the afternoon in the reading
room. After tea went to Pickard’s and we two went to the bookstore where I paid for Charles
XII, and that blank book. I also bought some coal oil. Received a note from Lis in which she
scolded me for not writing. I must write tonight. Have not yet heard from Aunt Tenie.

Nov 10th
Last night I wrote a long letter to Lis Ralston. I enclosed my carte-de visite. Today I have not

been very busy. Our lesson in Theology was on the “Spirituality of God.” I wrote to Rolly,
besides getting out two Psalms, the XXI & XXIII. I went to prepare Monday’s lessons if
possible so as to get out to Embro on Saturday.
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Nov. 10/63 cont...Higgins returned my translation fo the Iliad and McDonald borrowed my
Odyssey. He wished to buy but I would not sell, however I said I would lend it to him. Our
prayer meeting to-night was very good. There was to be a social meeting in the Institute this
evening, but I did not stay to it. I suppose I will get a ribbing for that. I have spent the evening
in studying, and in manufacturing a puzzle.
Nov. 11th 1 P.M. Today is Thanksgiving Day, according to the Governor General’s
proclamation. This morning we met as usual for roll call, and then Dr. Fyfe stated the order of
the day. We are expected to go to church once. After dismissal Fitch, Chesney and I had a long
argument about the right of forcing us to attend church. I denied the right, and they maintained
it. The discussion was carried on at the stove, and Dr. Fyfe heard a great part of it. When we
separated, Dr. met Fitch and I at the gate, and asked me if I had settled that point with Fitch. I
said “No.” We walked downtown together, and had a pleasant discussion of the subject. We also
talked of other things. Dr. was going to Burke’s to see the photograph of the Institute, and I went
with him. The picture is very nice. I think I will get a copy if I can. After dinner I went down to
the Post Office, and received a letter from Montreal. I supposed it to be from Aunt Tenie, and
wondered at it containing no money. Great was my surprise to see that the signature was Mary
Neal. All the way home I was wondering what possessed her to write to me. She says that the
young people of the church have formed a literary society meeting fort-nightly and she has been
appointed secretary. At the request of the society, she has written to ask me to favour her with an

essay. Of course I can do nothing else but comply, and this I will do willingly for I feel an
interest in the Montreal folks, especially the “young ones.” I don’t know how soon I can write it,
but I will do so soon.
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Nov. 12/63
Yesterday afternoon I attended the prayer meeting in the lecture room. It was a fine meeting. I
spent the rest of the time in studying. The boys got home about nine o’clock after an absence of
nearly two weeks. Today I have been studying hard to get ready for Monday’s lessons. I got out
my skeleton for Dr. Fyfe. Went up to Mont’s room, and had a short talk about M.A. I wish him
to tell her what I think about her conduct, and to give her such advice as he thinks best. Mr.
Gould got home tonight, bringing Miss Canfield, who is going to stay till Sunday. I had a talk
with her. Today I finished writing apiece of poetry embodying in it both “Rock me to sleep” and
the “Answer.” I am at a loss what to call it. I intend sending a copy to Miss Neal. I have chosen
a subject for the essay. It is, “The Influence of Poetry.”

Nov. 13
Have been hard at work all day. Wrote to Miss Neal enclosing a copy of that poetry. It rained
some tonight, and I fear I will have a bad day of it tomorrow. Willis paid me a long visit this
evening. Mont and Chesney started for Drumbo this afternoon. Nott did a queer thing last night.
He came up to my room and rummaged through my books to find a translation of the “Odyssey.”
I suppose he had influence enough to carry it off if he had found it. Fortunately I have only a
written translation, and that only of two books, so he was disappointed in this effort to find what
was not there. I suppose he thought that I, like himself, had to depend on Key translations.

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Nov 16/63
On Sat I proposed walking to Embro, but as Mr. Gould was going out to Bents, I concluded to
ride to Beachville. I have been excused by Mr. Wells, so I did not go up to school. We started
about nine, stopping at the post office where I mailed my letter. It did not look more like rain
than it had done for ten or so days, but before reaching Beachville it rained a little. I went into
the B. Depot to see the time. It was just ten when I started for Embro. Soon after starting it
began to rain heavily, but I determined to press on, at least till I reached the toll gate. By that
time it had stopped raining but soon began again when I reached the Methodist Church near
Embro. I determined to strike off to the next line, which was the one Bland’s folks live on. I did
so because I wished to avoid the village, to see what the road was like, and to avoid the road
between the tollgate and Matheson’s Corner, but I got into a bad place. It rained quite heavily
after I left the gravel, and once I was forced to take shelter under a tree for about ten minutes.
But I soon found that I must keep on for the rain showed no sign of stopping. When I neared Mr.
Bland’s I stopped and washed my boots before approaching the house. I reached the door
unobserved, and on rapping, Josey said “Come in.” Mary knew my step I think for she said it
was me. They were just finishing dinner, for it was a quarter to one. I received a very hearty
welcome from all, and they seemed very glad to see me.
I delivered all my messages, and the books and letters with which Higgins had entrusted me.
Eliza promised to deliver those that were not for her, for I had not time. Most of the afternoon I

spent with Mrs. B., talking on various subjects. Mr. B. is away at St. Catharines, so I had to take
the head of the table, and leading prayer all the time I was there. After tea I had a splendid talk
with Mary & Eliza until after twelve.
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Nov.16/63
I explained why I had not been out, viz, that Mary Ann was jealous. We enjoyed our selves very
much and all hardness appeared to be removed. They have had a very pleasant time since I was
out last which was just exactly nine months ago. That was the time that Albright and I were
there, when Eliza scolded me about that “Sleigh Ride.” Bland’s folks have three framers there
now building a shed for the sheep. All of the old hands are away and they have two new ones.
Sun. the 15th

Filling in diary

Opened nicely enough, but did not hold out so. There being no church in the village in the
morning, we staid at home, and spent the time in reading and talking. Towards evening it began
to rain, and we could not go to church. It seemed very dull not to be at church all day. We sat up
talking till after eleven. This morning I was up shortly after six, had breakfast soon after seven
and got ready to start. They tried hard to get me to stay till afternoon, because it was still raining
a little, but I would not. I thought it would not do. They seemed very sorry to let me away.
I started straight across lots, and for quite a distance varied my amusement by sometimes
climbing fences, sometimes dodging round stumps. I climbed light fences in my way. Nearly all
this time it was through the bush, and I did not know where I was coming out, but at last I found
myself steering straight for the toll gate. I had managed so nicely that I did not travel at all on
the side line. I thought it would be best to keep to the gravel road to chance a ride, but no ride
did I get. I did not stop in passing through Embro. Passed Cody’s school house before nine for I

met the scholars going to school.

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Nov. 16, 63 cont.. Eben is backtracking what happened.
At the toll gate at the Governor’s Road I halted for a couple of seconds to fix my boot, and that
was the only stop till I reached Kern’s. I took the Governor’s road to Woodstock. It is quite
hilly and very muddy, but I got along quite fast. At the creek at Karn’s I stopped for a drink and
to wash the mud off my boots. It was five minutes to eleven when I reached the Post Office. I
just had time to come home, change my coat, seize my Hebrew Grammar and run. I read the
Grammar over on my way up to school, and just got in in time, for the bell had rung. I passed
the lesson well, far better than I expected. Fearing not passing, I kept Dr. busy until the bell
rang. My dinner hour was occupied in writing my essay on the fifth century. I passed this lesson
well also. I have since been occupied in preparing tomorrow’s lessons.
Pickard was up for a while this evening & we got out our Greek together. I find that my walk
has ruined my rubbers, for one is worn through. My right heel also had the skin rubbed off. I
think I made first rate time, to walk all the way from Bland’s to Woodstock in three hours. It is
about five miles an hour. Mont & Chesney are not home yet, but I suppose will be here
tomorrow.
Yesterday was a double – or rather a triple anniversary. First it was the second Anniversary of
the burning of Stewart’s house and the loss of all his property. Second it is the anniversary – the
first – of the dedication of the Baptist Chapel in Embro, and of my first visit to that place, a
description of which visit will be found on pages 29-32. During the year I have made just seven

visits to Mr. Bland’s, the last being nine months ago. Thirdly, it was the first anniversary of
Mary Ann’s unfortunate arrival in Woodstock and what a change has this year produced. Then
we were recognized lovers, now we are naught to one another.
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Nov.16, Cont.
We have gradually grown cold and careless, and at last this has resulted in a rupture which can
never be healed. I am sorry for M.A. but the old proverb must apply to her, she has made her
bed and must lie in it. Had she been what she was once, I would have been contented, but
change bred change till love departed, and resolved to be free. If wrong has been done, she and
she alone, is to blame.
Nov. 17
Today our Christian Theology lesson was on the omnipresence of God, but we could make
nothing of it. It was too vast for our finite minds. In Romans we expected to recite the analysis
of the truth chapter, but did not. We got half through the chapter and Dr. gave us the remainder
and ten verses of the eleventh for Thursday.
I spent the whole afternoon in study. The evening prayer meeting was a pretty good one. Today
noon, my long expected letter arrived. I called on Willis about those Tracts, and then came home
and read the letter. Aunt Tenie gave me a long one of fourteen pages this time. As usual she
apologizes for delay on account of lack of time, &c. She says she had a very pleasant time in H.
The trip down was also pleasant and all reached home in good spirits. The little pets talk of me,
and combia ?” is growing more lovely all the time. Uncle Andrew has been in Montreal on
business I suppose. Aunt Tenie says my room looks real desolate without me. She also gives in
to me about those words which were in dispute. She speaks at length about my engagement, and

strongly censures M.A., course of conduct, and advises me to insist upon the restoration of my
letters. This I intend to do.

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122

Nov.17/63, Cont.
She warns me to beware of Mont, for she fears that he is a traitor to me. She also pitches in to
me about Hattie, warns me not to fall in love with her, and this for several reasons, viz, she is a
flirt, and is just playing with me, that she loves her ease too well to marry any but a rich man,
that she is older than I am, &c, &c. Surely Hattie has not told her what happened in Brantford.
If it is true that she drew me out purposely to fool me, it shows that she is a heartless flirt, but I
can’t think so badly of her. Besides all that happened was my own fault, for as far as I can see,
she did no more than any lady would do. I was attentive and gallant, and she could not well
refuse the attentions which I offered. But next summer will prove the truth or falsity of my ideas
on this subject. If she was trifling with me it will be but another proof of woman’s faithlessness.
Nott has been a woman hater, and doubtless I will become one also. If Hattie turns out as false
hearted as Aunt Tenie would have me believe she will be the second of my faultless trio of
friends who has proved false. Mary Ann has proved herself unworthy, Hattie is charged with
conduct that will stamp unworthiness upon her, and Eliza is the only one who has escaped the
charge of practicing deception. But I can’t believe that Hattie, with her religious experience, her
intelligence, and many good qualities, is capable of descending to such paltry business as that of
trifling with a man’s heart merely to gratify her vanity and love of attention. But I will leave it
all in the hands of Providence praying that if it is true, God may forgive her and may enable her
to see her evil conduct, and to live more consistently in the future. Bless Aunt Tenie for the word

of warning. Aunt Tenie also scolds me about money matters, but she is evidently misinformed,
and I will explain it all to her. She says Mr. Alexander is placing together a large congregation,
and that things are progressing very favorably in the church.
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123

Nov. 17, Cont. She says in a postscript “the money I shall put either in this or a separate
envelope,” but I have not received any money yet. It did not arrive in this letter, and the other
has not yet come to hand. I suppose it will be all right however, and that I will receive it in a day
or two. There ought to be sixteen dollars in this remittance for I have not received any since
school opened.
Nov 18/1863

I was nicely fooled this morning in French. We had three lessons to recite today,

and I got them up splendidly, but not thinking that we would read the exercises I never looked at
them. But when we got into class it turned out that we were to read the exercises. I did not know
them and I made a poor fill of them. I got on better in Hebrew. At noon I received a letter from
Aunt Tenie enclosing sixteen dollars for Sept & Oct. I paid Mrs. Gould fourteen dollars of it for
my board, reserving two for other expenses. Pickard was up in my room for sometime this
afternoon. After tea I had a walk and then went up to Pickard’s. Got out my Greek lesson and
stayed there till after ten. Nov 19 Our subject in Theology was the “Omniscience of God.” We
could not make much out of it. After dinner I started out for a walk and a study. Went to
Warwick’s and bought the Treasury of Knowledge, in three volumes, at 50 cents a volume. Also
bought Wayland’s letters on “The Ministry of the Gospel” for fifty cents. As they take off ten
percent, the books cost $1.80, of which I paid one dollar. Then I went out past the toll-gate, onto
that hill opposite the oil-refinery, where I staid till nearly five. I was declaiming my piece for
Saturday, and thinking over my essay for the Montreal folks. Going home, I called at the store

for my books, and got home just as they were through tea. I could not study very much, for
Jenkins was in my room. I wished him to stay with me, but he preferred to go to Deacon
Burtche’s. I did little but get out my Hebrew, which I found very hard.
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124

Nov. 20/63
Received a letter from Robert. He tells me of his progress in his studies, &c, and gives me a
little Montreal news. Tonight the ladies took part in the exercises of the Adelphian but I did not
attend.
Nov. 21
Had to declaim this morning before the “Special Declamation class,” 150 lines and take just ten
minutes to declaim. It can hardly be called wholly my own production for 48 lines were the
song, “Rock me to Sleep.” Neither Dr. nor Mr. Wells offered any criticisms, but testified their
approval by their silence. I spent the afternoon in studying. In the evening the Judson Miss.
Society had a meeting which I attended. The Wesleyan Minister Rev. Mr. Griffins lectured
before us. After coming home I finished my essay on the M.
Nov. 22
It was just twelve when I finished my essay on Saturday night. Not feeling sleepy, I determined
to do something towards answering Aunt Tenie’s last letter. I set to work to write. I gave her an
abridged account of my doings since I last wrote, where I had been, whom I had seen, &c, then I
started to answer her inquiries, &c. I scolded her for her negligence; gave her some consolation
about my engagement with M.A., gave her my version, also the way she treated Hattie on any
account, and answered her one time, until the crowing of the cocks, and the brightness of the
Eastern horizon. I knew that daylight was near. About half past six I laid down my pen, having

written steadily since twelve. My fingers were so cramped that I could hardly hold my pen. The
letter was sixteen pages in length, but so closely written that it contained as much as twenty four.
I think that was a pretty good letter.
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125

Nov.22/63, Cont.
Not stopping to undress, I jumped into bed to snatch an hour’s sleep, but about seven Pickard
came round, and roused me up to get some blue vitriol. I got up, then dressed myself & read till
breakfast time. Then I went round with my tracts. Fitch preached this morning from Rev. XXI.9
“Come hither and I will show you the bride, the Lamb’s wife.” He preached a good discourse. I
like him better than Mont as a preacher. After church I went to Pickard’s to dinner. He was
going to Beachville & Embro and wanted me to go along. We started about one to walk down to
B. & took our time. The congregation was a pretty large one. Mont and Thompson were the
only students there. I went up into the pulpit to help in the opening exercises. I prayed and gave
out the lessons and hymn, and then sat down in the body of the church. The sermon was very
good, and the text John III, 3 “Except a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
After service, Mr. Cody’s team took us up to Cody’s where we had tea and then went on to
Embro. Here also I prayed and gave out the second hymn. After that I went down from the
platform and sat with Eliza Bland. The folks stared a little. Pickard’s text was Galatians III, 3
“Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law.” I was well pleased with Pickard, on the
whole. There were some points that might be mended, but as a general thing I liked him very
well. After service I gave him an introduction to the Blands. I had a few minutes conversation
with them. We got a ride as far as Cody’s and were pressed to stay all night, but we thought it
best to walk home. Then they took us down as far as the tollgate, and would have gone further,

but we would not let them. We walked home, taking the Governor’s Road. It was half past
eleven when I got home. Thus ended my Sabbath.

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126

Nov. 23/63
This morning I recited French & Hebrew and did pretty well at them. At noon, got a letter from
Richards. He spoke of Mary Ann and says he has not written to her yet. He also says that Miss
Purcell has returned to Utica. And he is to go there, and they will be married in that city on the
first of January. He tells me that Miss B. has joined the church, and best of all he says that it is
very likely that he will soon follow her example. This is cheering news. It is what I have been
hoping for three years or more. It seems almost too good to be true. May God make him a true
devoted humble Christian, one who in his daily life exemplifies the doctrine of the cross.
After coming home from the Post Office, I wrote out a short sketch of the Montanist heresy, and
then went up to the reading room till school time. After church history class, I went into the
library for an hour to find out something about my tomorrow’s lesson in Theology but could find
nothing. I also read up quite a bit about….. and his heresy. Tonight the joint Committee of the
Ministerial Education Society & Institute holds a meeting in the lecture room. A great number of
the Theological students are to come before them for examination. This afternoon I asked Dr.
Fyfe about whether there was an extra year or not in this course. He said they had not as yet
added an extra year, but they had been thinking about it. He seemed to think they would arrange
to have an extra year added to the course but only to make it optional. Inquiries about my being
short of money. Being busy.

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127

Nov. 24
Our lessons today passed off very well. IN the afternoon I got out my Hebrew and French, and
after tea wrote my essay on Arines. I then got to work on my essay for the Literary Society in
Montreal. My subject was “the Influence of Poetry.” I began by asserting that all things exerted
some influence, though perhaps this influence was unsuspected. I then said that Poetry was the
oldest form of written language, being earlier than prose. This I proved by arguments from the
Bible, Egypt, Greece, &c and I gave a slight sketch of its history. Then I explained what this had
to do with the subject. I first spoke of its influence upon the character of a nation, and asserted
that it had a great influence in this way. The Greeks, Romans, French, Spaniards & English
furnished abundant proofs of this. The national songs of any people are a test of their character.
The style or meter on which the poetry is written also illustrates the character of a nation. Then I
spoke of the influence of poetry on individuals. It refined the habits, manner, mind & tastes, it
also elevates him; and again it exerts an influence in imparting right motives and aims. I closed
by an urgent appeal to the society to cultivate a taste for poetry in its higher branches, for it
would prove a benefit to them in many ways.

Nov 25
After finishing my essay last night, I sat down to write Richards. I advised him what to do in
regard to M.A., viz to write boldly and tell her what he thought. I also asked him to do a favor

for me by telling her what I thought of her conduct. I also spoke to him about his marriage and
told him not to fret about my being unable to be present.

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128

Nov. 25, Cont.
I told him of my studies, and how hard I was pushed. I also expressed my great joy at hearing
his desire to come out totally as a Christian. It was half past three before I was ready for bed.
Today my lessons passed off well. In the afternoon I received a letter from Lis, enclosing one
from Rolly. Both were enjoying themselves at Berthier en haut, where Lis is presently residing
for the purpose of taking music lessons. Rolly had to leave Papineauville on account of ill
health. He is now taking a rest of a week or two to recruit his strength for another spell of
preaching. He says he is not coming back to school next term, which is very bad news for me.
But as I can’t help it, I suppose I must bow to the will of God. Both letters cheered me up very
much, for they were full of kindly sympathy. Like true friends, Rolly and Lis endeavoured to
cheer me by their words and friendly exhortations. I can rest assured that whatever Mont and
others may do, they at least will not forsake me. I think I can safely trust to Rolly, Lis, Eliza and
Richards, but I am very doubtful of my other friends, outside of my own family. These four will
stick to me whatever betides, and I feel that I can always turn to them for comfort. Thank God
for true friends! What would this world be without them? A dreary solitude, a lonesome waste.
After tea I went up to Pickard’s. We had a walk then came back and got out our Greek, and then
had some sport playing checkers. Pickard beat me every time, but once, and badly most of the
time. He is a very good player. After coming home I started to write to Aunt Lizzie, but did not
finish the letter.

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129

Nov 26
Today I passed my lessons pretty well. The circulars of the Institute came out today. I went to
Dr. to know if he was going to sell them to us students who had not subscribed, but he said he
would give them a few. I went up to Coutts and got half a dozen. I sent one each to Aunt Tenie,
Aunt Lizzie, Rolly and Eliza Bland. During the day I finished my letter to Aunt Lizzie, and also
wrote to Annie. I spoke to Annie about her soul, and pled with her not to be so careless. I got all
tomorrow’s lessons out, besides writing part of the introduction of my sermon.
Nov. 27
Got along well in my lessons today. Our next church History essay is on the Novatian schism. I
spent a couple of hours reading it up in the afternoon. I have only got seven pages of my sermon
written. I will not be able to hand it in till Monday. Had a visit from Moore tonight. Sent him
“God in History,” and “The Reformation in Europe” in order to get some facts for his essay.
Nov. 28
Last night about twelve it began to rain, and rained more or less till this afternoon. Our morning
exercises were very good. Our class met with Dr. today. We only had two skeletons, Chesney’s
and Clarkes.’ My sermon was not finished, so that I could not hand it in. Pickard and I went
down to the book store before dinner. My object was to see about that analytical concordance. It
was sold, and being the only one, I could not get one. I will have to write to Robert for the title
of his, so as to get Warwick to send for one for me. Mr. Gould got home this afternoon. I spent

the afternoon in getting up my Monday’s lessons, all of which are now up. Our prayer meeting
this evening was very good one. Mrs. Gould has been sick all this week, it is a severe cold that is
troubling her.
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130

Nov. 29
Dr. Fyfe preached both times. At evening prayer meeting I spoke for a few minutes. We had a
very good meeting. Karn, Torrance, Coutts and Fitch were away preaching. I spent the
afternoon in writing on my sermon. This Sabbath is the anniversary of my first effort at
preaching, though last year it was the thirtieth. Well do I remember the little church at
Wellington Square, where I preached my first sermon.
Nov. 30
Today has been very cold and blustery. Our lesson passed off very well. I have been busy today.
Have got up tomorrow’s lessons, re-written my essay on “Poetic Influence,” and have done
something at my sermon. Went down to the bookstore and ordered “Racine” and Montequie.
One month more and 1863 will bid good-bye to us forever.
Dec. 1/63
The last month of the year has commenced, and soon will end. Thirty one short days, and the
young New Year will come knocking at the door. Eleven months of this year have passed, oh so
swiftly, they are indeed swifter than a weaver’s shuttle. Eleven months. Eleven jewels more
precious than rubies, and more to be valued than much fine gold. Eleven months of God’s
goodness to me, and of my in gratitude. Oh Father forgive me for the past, and bless me in the
future. Grant me grace, my God, to live for thee, redeeming the time, for the days are evil.
Last night I started to finish my sermon for Dr. Fyfe, but after writing till nearly six o’clock this

evening, I gave up, having only reached the end of the third head. I have still to write the
application, which I expect to finish tonight. The cocks were up when I threw myself on the bed
for a little sleep.
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131

I slept till seven and then got up to breakfast. We had two rather long lessons this morning but
got through them well. The subject in Christian Theology was “The Will of God.” We had a
long discussion on it. We also had The Veracity of God.”
After dinner I went downtown for some coal oil, and received a letter from Annie. She says that
the folks are all well, but the children had been very sick with the Diphtheria. They are better
however. She says Miss Shenston married Donnelly against her father’s will, and was turned out
of doors. Reuben went with her. Aunt Lizzie and Annie attend Mr. Stewart’s church now, and
Auntie speaks of joining it. Annie seems in a serious frame of mind. I pray God it may result in
engaged ingood. Her letter breathes a more serious spirit than any I ever got from her. God
grant that she may be going to come to Christ. O my Father, move her heart in the right way,
bring her to Jesus, I pray thee! Lead her, O God, to the rock that is higher than she and make her
a true child of God, for Jesus’ sake.

Dec. 2
When I went to school this morning I had my lessons very imperfectly prepared. I got through
pretty well however. We had no church History lesson today, so I did not go up to school in the
afternoon. Got a letter from Miss Neal at noon. She writes this time as a friend, not as an
official. She says she read my poem before the Society and it created quite an excitement.
Inquiries were made as to the author, but, of course, nothing was found out. She gets the credit

for having composed it, for according to some of them “It was exactly her style.” She wishes me
to let her tell, for she does not want to get the credit without deserving it. I don’t think I will let
her tell, for how could I send any more poetry there if they knew that I was the author.
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I must preserve my incognito if possible. She says Millie is not well, and neither is Aunt Tenie.
I spent the afternoon in copying out my essay to send to Montreal. It takes up ten pages of
notepaper pretty closely written. After copying it I got out my tomorrow’s lessons, and then
wrote an acrostic for Eliza Bland, and copied out about ten pages of poetry for her. It has tired
me a good deal to do so much writing at once, but it must be done, and I felt like writing, so I
kept on. I now have only my lessons to get up and write to Miss Neal and Robert, and this
week’s work will be ended. I handed in my sermon to Dr. today, and asked him to return it as
soon as convenient.

Dec. 3rd
Worked hard all day. Wrote Miss Neale and posted the essay. Spent the day in studying. Wrote
out my essay on Donatism in the evening. Our attribute today was the justice of God. There was
a great review in town but I had not time to go.

Dec. 4
Our lessons passed off very well. Have been hard at work getting up Monday’s lesson so as to
go away tomorrow. I want to start for Embro directly after breakfast. Wrote to Robert in answer
to his of the 18th of November. Enclosed in it a short note for Millie.
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133

Back in Woodstock after two days absence. On Saturday after breakfast I told Mrs. Gould that I
was going away not to return till Monday. I then got ready and started. It was just right as I left
the railroad station. Passing the Post Office I got a letter from Millie. It was written on
Wednesday the 2nd and was a very long letter, for Millie, consisting of 15 pages. She says she
has been very sick, and has not been down stairs for two weeks, but is better now. Poor Millie. I
fear she will not live a great while, and yet why should I fret for her? She will be better off, far
better off in her home above. Millie speaks of Miss Neal and the Literary Society, and how my
Poem was received. She speaks of Aunt Tenie’s kindness to her, and seems very grateful for it.
She tells me that Hattie seemed very much surprised when she handed her my enclosure. What
could have caused this amazement is a mystery to me. Surely Hattie does not think that things
can be all forgotten in so short a time. If she does, she is much mistaken. As regards Hattie, I
am not going to fret about her, or indeed any other lady. I will wait quietly for the workings of
Providence to do what is in accordance with the will of God. I am going to totally resist female
companionship. I am beginning to think that the whole sex are a set of cunning schemers. The
old notions of female perfection have vanished from my mind, I fear, forever. I am now in
danger of thinking too meanly of the sex. I feel a desire to shun their society, and among all my
range of acquaintances there is but one family where I feel like visiting or with whom I feel like
keeping on friendly terms. That family is the Bland family, and with them I will be friendly for

they have shown themselves true firm friends. She speaks of not yet having written to M.A. She
also speaks of Annie.

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Dec.7/cont.
After getting Millie’s letter, I continued on through town, and along the Governor’s road to the
10th line. I then turned along the tenth, till I reached the second crossroad past the Governor’s
road. Along this I travelled to the 9th line, and up that to the next cross road. This I followed to
Mr. John Mathisons, and thence I had a straight road up to Blands. During my long walk I
studied, thought, &c, &c. and the time did not seem long. I reached my destination about twelve.
Arrived there I found Miss Annie Dent and Miss Alcock, two cousins of the Blands. I spent a
very pleasant afternoon and evening with the folks young and old. I gave Eliza those things I
had promised her. I declaimed the “Day Dream” and copied the Acrostic into her album. It was
very late when we sought our beds.
Sunday
Opened bright and clear, and continued so all day. After breakfast I had a walk through the
woods. It was very pleasant, though the ground was rather rough. After dinner Mr. & Mrs B,
Eliza, Miss A. and myself started for Beachville to afternoon service. All ladies were dropped at
Mrs. B’, continued on till within a mile of Beachville when I got out, to let two ladies ride. I
walked in and got to the church as soon as the folks. Coutts was to be the preacher and I had to
go into the Pulpit with him. I read, prayed, and lined the two hymns. The discourse was on John
VII, 37, “If any man thirst, let him come unto me and drink” and was a very good one. On our
way to Embro we stopped at Cody’s and had our tea. Coutts and I walked into the village. At

church I went into the pew with Miss A. and Eliza, and just before service Coutts came down and
took me up with him. I gave out the first two hymns and read.

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Dec.7/63
Then I went back to my seat. The evening discourse was on Jn. III.7, “Marvel not that I say unto
thee, Ye must be born again. “ I like Coutts very well as a Preacher. His sermons are not as
connected as they might be, but a year with the Dr. will remedy that. Our ride home was very
pleasant, and we spent a pleasant evening.
Today
We did not leave Mr. Bland’s till after eight. This was principally on account of Mary who was
coming into Woodstock with us, to see Dr. Turquand. We had a fine ride and reached W. about a
quarter to eleven. By the time I was ready for school it was too late to go to my class, so I did
not attempt it. I spent the afternoon in reading up on Pelagianism in Mont’s room. I gave Mont
a piece of cake Eliza sent him, being what she had promised him a year ago. He laughed
heartily. He showed me a letter and a photograph that he had just received from M.A. She does
look well in that picture. Her letter breathes the same insinuations against me as ever. I intend to
send her something that will shock her, sometime this week. I am tired of waiting for her to
write. I hear that Bella is at last married to Lawson. “Tis well, tis so.”
After school I called to see Fitch who is sick. After tea, Pickard and I went for a walk, and then
got out our Greek together. The last three days have been the anniversary of Roos, Mont’s and
my visit to Embro last year, an account of which visit will be found on pages 40-43.

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Dec. 8th
Spent the day in studying, and studied hard. Found it very difficult to get back to work at all.
Went to prayer meeting in the evening. Coutts gave me three programs.

Dec. 9th
Got through my French first rate. Our Hebrew was very difficult, but we got along pretty well.
Spent all the afternoon in the library reading up on Pelagianism. Wrote to Mary Ann in the
evening to send with the parcel I intend sending in a day or two. I talk pretty plainly to her. The
following is a copy of the letter. It is here inserted verbatim et seriatim.

LETTER TO MARY ANN BAILEY on SEPERATE PAGE DOWN

Scroll down

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Woodstock Dec 10/1863
Miss Bailey
Three months ago I addressed you in a letter telling of the change in my feelings, and
asking to be released from my engagement with you. To that letter you have never deigned to
reply, though common politeness should have called forth an answer. You have made various
excuses to justify your silence, but these have all been proved not to be your true reasons. You
profess to believe that I have already broken the engagement, while you know that my letter
merely asked you to release me.
But, if it is as you say, if the engagement is really broken, why do you still hold me in
your power by retaining my letters? Those letters can be of no use to you unless, indeed, you
intend to sue me, as your Uncle suggested. If that is your intention just count the cost; - you will
ruin your own prospects and good name, for scarcely any but abandoned women resort to such
measures; you will gain an unenviable notoriety, while you will harm me but little.
True you may drive me from the country, but that is all, for money I have not, and never expect
to have. I am aware that you express your determination not to sue me on account of my
position as a minister. It should rather be on account of justice, for last May I freely released you
when you broke with me. Other engagements have often been broken, and other young ladies
have returned all letters, and so should you. Your conduct in retaining them will lower you in the

eyes of all respectable persons, at the same time that it places both of us in a false position. I ask
you to return those letters, for it is not proper that you should keep them.

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LETTER TO MARY ANN BAILET,,, cont

138
page 2

I hear that you make them common property, read them to strangers, and use them as means
whereby to hurt my character, and all this while professing the kindest feelings for me (2 Tim
XX. 9-10).
The conclusion to which your conduct forces me is that you intend at least to keep me
from marrying another, if you cannot have me yourself. If such is your idea, I can assure you I
have suffered too much by one woman, and have been too greatly deceived in her, to be in any
hurry to marry another, even though she should be a seeming angel. Your conduct since last I
wrote you has convinced me that I was perfectly justified in the course I took. By your
assertions and insinuations you have been the means of spreading the most damaging reports
about me. I told you that your own conduct caused my love to die, but you have denied this, and
have told to all that I had other reasons, thus virtually making me to be a liar. I tell you again
distinctly that neither Miss Bland, Miss Farrar, nor any of my relations had anything to do in
causing me to write to you as I did: my only reason was that I had ceased to love you. Your after
conduct has almost made me cease to respect you as well, for no true minded woman would act
so. You have even attempted to alienate my friends by talking to them against me. You have
also attempted to win sympathy by misrepresenting various things connected with our
engagement. I have never sought to injure you, but have defended you when unjustly attacked,

even since the trouble between us, and for the way in which you have acted towards me, may
God forgive you.

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LETTER TO MARY ANN BAILEY,,, Cont. page 3
Millie has not yet written to you, for she has been very sick and is still very low—too feeble to
write to you. Enclosed you will find all the presents I ever received from you, which are now in
my possession. The others have either been worn out (as the slippers) or lost (as the cap, which
blew overboard while coming up from Montreal). I now return them, and ask you to restore my
letters. I cannot return your letters, for I burned them long ago, an act for which I now feel sorry.
If there is anything in this letter to wound you, I am sorry, for I meant merely to show you what I
thought of your conduct. I hope that you will at last do me the justice to return all my letters and
release me from my engagement. Again in conclusion, I pray God to forgive you for your
conduct towards one who was once but can be no more –
Yours truly,
Eben M. Rice.

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Dec. 10/63
Three months ago today I wrote to M.A. telling her of the change in my feelings, but have never
yet received an answer. Today I sent to her, per Express, all of her presents, now in my
possession, or rather in my possession up to the time I sent them. They were a book, three book
marks, a necktie, a braid of hair, that likeness taken by Milne, that likeness of herself & Jane
Robb, and some dried flowers. I also enclosed the letter written yesterday. I fancy this will
bring an answer.
This morning I asked Mont if he had his letter to send to her, and he said he had already sent it.
This is a puzzler to me. He knew that I was going to send, expressed himself glad of the
opportunity of writing, and yet mailed his letter so as to reach her before my parcel. I am
beginning to suspect Mont of playing me false, but I do hope I am mistaken. Surely he never
would turn traitor to me. Anyway I will be careful what I say in his presence. Our lessons today
passed off well. Canfield’s second daughter died early yesterday morning, and was buried today.
Torrance preached the funeral sermon. Got some circulars from Coutts to send to Eliza Bland.
Made a puzzle like one I saw at Pickard’s a few nights ago. Had a walk with Pickard.

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Dec 11th
Wrote to Eliza Bland enclosing a dozen circulars, two programmes from the public meeting, and
a copy of “The Song of the Old Folks.” I intend to send the whole to Embro on Sunday, but the
student who goes there to preach. Also wrote to Rolly. I gave him a short sketch of my actions
since I last wrote to him, gave him all the news, and tried to cheer him up as much as possible.
Received a very nice letter from Ross. He is very busy in his new field of labor, is enjoying
himself, and is earnest in the work.
Our lessons today passed off well. We are to have no more church history till examination and
our examination is to be on our essays. We met with Dr. in Hebrew to review a few chapters for
examination. I intended to go to the Society Meeting to-night, but Willis came in and I could not
go. He brought a piece of poetry for me to criticize and correct. It needs it bad enough. It is
something in the style of c…..? pieces.
Dec. 12th

Read a skeleton to Dr. on I Cor. III, 21-23, “All things are yours; whether Paul or

Apollo, or Cephas, or the world, or life, or death, or things present, or things to come; all are
yours; and ye are Christ’s and Christ is God’s.” It escaped without any criticism. I had to speak
in the special class and nearly failed. I forgot to put down that yesterday. I received a copy of
the Hamilton Times from an unknown source. I strongly suspect that it came from M.A. This
afternoon I attended the covenant meeting. It was very interesting. Afterwards I had a walk with
Alex. McDonald, and brought him home to tea with me, and then we went to prayer meeting

together. It has been raining all day. Torrance is going to preach at Embro, and has agreed to
take that parcel to Eliza. Northrup is going to Ingersoll, Chesney to Burgessville, Coutts to the
Union Church, and Fitch to Blenheim.
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1863

A nasty rainy Sunday. I went round as usual with my tracts, and had a wet time of it. While
sitting in church my head pained me very much, and continued to hurt me all day. Torrance
preached in the morning from Jer. VIII.22, “Is there no balm in Gilead” Is there no physician
there?” Why then is not the health of the daughter of my people recovered?” His main divisions
were, I. The disease – selfishness, II. The remedy – Christianity, III. The Physician – Christ, IV.
The reason why this remedy is not universally received – it is not proclaimed in its purity. His
discourse was very good and pleased me much. He was to preach in Beachville this afternoon
and in Embro in the evening. Dr. preached this evening from Luke XV. 7 “I say unto you, that
likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine
just persons who need no repentance.” I could not get his heads at all. I was much surprised to
see such a thin congregation. I never saw so few out to church in W. before. Our evening prayer
meeting was an interesting one. I took part in praying.

Dec. 14th
I have felt quite unwell but still have kept up. We got through our lessons very well today.
Could not study this afternoon so spent the time in reading. Went for a walk after tea and then
called on Pickard. We two got out our Romans together. I brought home P’s skates to try them.

If they suit me I will buy them. It rained all day till about three. Then turned to snow, and then
froze. Since dark a very cold wind has been blowing from the west. We will have lots of ice
before long.
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Dec. 15
Rather cold all day. Have been quite unwell, my head paining me very much. We recited in
Christian Theology on the subject “Omnipotence.” Dr. asked us to define the attribute, but only
three of us attempted it. Clarke said, The power to do whatsoever he wills. Mont said, The
power to do all things that are possible to be done. I said, The ability to do everything not
inconsistent with his attributes. After much discussion, my definition was the only one found to
be correct. We did not recite in Romans. Before dinner I tried on the skates and broke one screw
off into the heel of my left boot. After dinner I went down to P’s and we fixed up the skates
again all right. I went out to try and see if I could skate, and one of the screws got loose. I tried
to get it out and doing so broke it, this time in the right boot. I was disgusted with such
miserable things. Went to prayer meeting in the evening. Willis promised to call round but did
not.

Dec. 16th
Recited my last lesson in French. Did not feel much like studying as I was unwell. Pickard
came to see me before dinner, and after dinner I went down town with him, and then to his
house, where I stayed till nearly four. Today I have copied out all my translations & analyses on
Romans besides reading over my Hebrew.

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Dec. 17
Had no lessons today which was very fortunate as I felt very unlike studying. I spent quite a
large part of the day reviewing my Hebrew. I also wrote to Lis in the evening (or rather
afternoon). In the evening I went to see Pickard and he told me that our Romans came off
tomorrow instead of Monday as was at first intended. In consequence of this I had to study very
hard in the evening, in order to get up the analysis.
Today is the fifth Anniversary of my conversion. Five years ago tonight I first found peace in
believing. Oh! How vividly is that scene imprinted upon my mind. The place, the time and
every minute particular is as fresh in my remembrance as if all happened yesterday. But how
sadly I am changed. I feel as though I could cry with my whole heart,
“Where is the blessedness I knew
When first I found the Lord?
Where is the soul-refreshing view
Of Jesus and his word?”

Dec. 22
On Friday I studied a little in the morning, and we recited Romans at two o’clock. In the
morning I went into hear the examination of “Mental Philosophy” class. They did very well, far
better than our class did. Afterward I asked Dr. to change our Church History Examination to
Saturday so as to let me away to Brantford. He agreed to try and after our Romans, asked the
class if they were willing, but now they seemed so unwilling that I told Dr. to let it go as it was. I

was not well enough to study all afternoon. In the evening Willis came up and we had a long
talk together. It was nearly eleven when he left. After he went away I left quite unwell and soon
went to bed.
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Saturday 19th
I felt quite weak as I had slept very little all night, being in such pain. I did not get up to
breakfast but lay abed until tea, when I dressed myself and went up to school to recite my
Hebrew. I went to Dr. and got excused to go home, and also got excused from French. Our
Hebrew examination was splendid. All did well except Chesney, who made several blunders.
After dinner I went to the Post Office to give directions about my letters, and then took some
tracts to Willis, as I wished him to take my district. I felt so miserable that I lay before the fire
all afternoon till four o’clock. I had to borrow money from Mrs. Gould to take me to Paris. Met
Bob Mathison at the station. He was going to Paris, so that we went down together. Torrance
went to the Square so that I had his company as far as Paris. I walked from Paris to Brantford.
The walk was very long and toilsome, for I felt cold and sick. I thought I would never reach
Aunt Lizzie’s, but I did at last. I think that the walk did me good on the whole.
Sunday 20th
Was Annie’s Birthday. She attained her majority. The folks in Montreal sent her some
magnificent presents, and very kind letters. I did not go to church all day as I did not feel well.
Monday 21st
Uncle Andrew & Aunt Lizzie started for Hamilton after breakfast & got back in the evening,
bringing Annie a nice dress from Mrs. Hamilton. I was not out all day. My nose and lips are
very sore.

Today I felt no better. I have not slept well for three or four nights and I feel as cross as can be. I
do wish my nose would get better for it hurts me terribly. Wrote to Millie in the afternoon.

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Dec. 23/63
Wrote to Aunt Tenie.

Dec. 25th
Much to my astonishment I find that Santa Claus had not forgotten me. I got two dollars and
some sweeties from Aunt Lizzie, & a necktie & two handkerchiefs from Annie. We all had
something given to us. It has been a very dull Christmas to me. They all went out and left me
alone. I could not go out on account of my sore lips. I have not been out since I came down last
Saturday.

Dec. 26
Staid in the house all day. My lips still trouble me, and I am afraid to venture out. It snowed
some this evening and then turned to rain.
Dec. 31/1863
Back in Brantford after four days visit in Hamilton. Sunday I did not feel well so I did not get up
till after dinner time. Mr. & Mrs. Morton were here to dinner. I got up in the afternoon, as I felt
better. About half past four, who should come to the gate but John Richards. I was very much
surprised to see him for I supposed him to be in Utica. He said he came to see me so I made him
put his horse in the barn, and stay to tea. I wanted him to stay all night but he would not. At last

it came out that he had brought out a lady with him, and they were going back that night. We
had some private conversation, and he told me he had brought Mary Ann up purposely to see me.
She wished to have a talk with me before releasing me and returning my letters.
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Dec.31/1863
She was stopping at Old Mrs. Cox’s.
After tea, John and I went down there to see her. We met her just going to church. John shied
off and left me to walk with her. On the way, she said I was free, and that my letters would be
returned to me whenever I chose to call for them. We had a long talk. She denied many of the
statements in my letter, and when I gave Mont as my authority, she said that he had not told the
truth. She denied telling him many of the things that he had told to me as coming from her.
Mont, it seems, told her that I was paying my attentions to Hattie, I suppose on account of what
he had seen on the boat. He had also told her other things about me.
She also denied showing my letters to anybody except two to Mrs. Patten & one or two or three
to others. She seemed thoroughly disgusted with Mont’s actions and threatened to write him a
pretty severe letter. I also am vexed about Mont, but I guess I’ll keep cool and let him slide. I
accompanied M.A. to the church door, and while talking there, Annie passed by, but did not
know us. I told M.A. that John wished me to go up to H. with him, but I did like to go, lest it
should inconvenience her. She said she would be pleased to have me go if I thought I could go
without getting sick. Finally she went to church and John and I came home.
I decided to go to Hamilton, so shortly after eight we harnessed up and started. We called at
Mrs. Cox’s for M.A. who was waiting for us. The ride was as pleasant as could be expected
under the circumstances. It was very cold, for a bitter East Wind troubled us all the way. We

talked very little on the main subject, for she shrunk from it. I could see this every time I tried to
introduce the subject, so in pity to her, I let it drop.

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Dec 31/1863, Cont.
It was fortunate that I went down, for I believe she would have fainted if I had not been there.
Richards thought so too. She had nerved herself up to meet me, and her nerves would give out,
just as soon as I left her. Once we thought she had fainted. She became very still and seemed
unconscious. I made John rouse her for fear that she would faint. We kept her attention
occupied by singing, &c so that she would not have time to think.
I fancy none of us were sorry when we reached Hamilton soon after eleven. We took her home
and as I went to the door with her, she said if I would call in the morning, she would give me a
parcel. Then John and I took home the horse and started for home. I was going to stay all night
with John. When we got down to his place we started a roaring fire, and got something to eat.
After talking a while John got sleepy and took a snooze on the lounge, and I on some chairs. I
did not sleep long, and we both roused up shortly after four, and spent the time in talking.
Monday
We talked away till breakfast time, nearly seven. After breakfast John went to work, and I
accompanied William uptown. The wind had brought rain, and it rained nearly all day. I went to
M.A.’s boarding house and asked for her. She said that I was up early. I said, Yes, I expected to
start for Brantford in a very little while. She then went off and brought a parcel which she said
contained all I would wish for. After a few minutes conversation, I ended it for I saw that she
could not bear it. We parted with mutual expressions of good feeling. Poor girl, I pity her. I

believe she was motivated partly by jealousy, partly by a desire to show her authority, and she
has met a bitter reward.

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149

Hamilton

But much as I pity her, I cannot help her. My love has died out, and I do not wish to see it
renewed. As she has made her bed, so she must lie in it. Poor girl! She will learn the bitter
fruits of jealousy, and that the jealous person takes a fire into his bosom to burn himself. The
parcel she gave me contained my letters, love poems, the Photographic Album, the engagement
ring, the token ring, and my ambrotype and photograph.
After receiving the parcel I went to Uncle Ebenezer’s to see Uncle Andrew so as to return with
him. He came down the day before to transact some business, and intended returning early. I
found that he was not out of bed yet. He was perfectly amazed when he saw me in Hamilton.
Just before breakfast, Uncle Eben & Ebby got home from Watertown. Aunt Anah and Mary
Louisa were out there. Uncle Eben urged me to stay for a few days – that I could not refuse. Mr.
Ware was also in H. having come up from Toronto. The day passed very duly along, and was a
dismal day to me. Uncle Eben showed us some skates that he had bought at the auction on
Saturday. He had a pair for himself ($1.50) another for Aunt Anah ($1.75) and another for Ebby
(.90), but as they were too long, he gave them to me. Uncle Andrew left for home about four
o’clock.
In the evening, I staid in the house and read. That night Uncle brought home a new pair of skates
for himself and gave me his. I was delighted to get such a fine pair of skates. I returned the

straps but afterwards paid him 25cts for them.

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Dec.31/1863, Cont.
Tuesday
Passed pleasantly away. Aunt Anah and baby got home at noon. Mathew Bingham drove them
over. In the afternoon Uncle brought me another pair of skates and got me to give mine to
Mathew. The new ones are worth about three dollars and a half. They are perfect beauties. I
spent most of the day in reading.
Wed 30th
I spent in a pleasant manner. In the morning, I took Ebbie out skating but he was too cowardly.
He feared a fall and I could do nothing with him. My skates did well. After a while I took Ebbie
home, and went up to the store till dinner time. I spent the afternoon reading. After the store
was closed, Uncle and I went down to the Bay, and skated till half-past-nine. The ice was good,
and there were a number on it, several ladies were among the number, and some of them were
excellent skaters. I got one fall.
Today Dec 31/1863
Has been a long day. We got up at six, and went skating. We took Ebbie, but the little coward
spoilt our fun. The wind was very strong from the East, and made it quite disagreeable skating.
After breakfast I went up to the store for a while, and then down to the house, where I copied a
piece of poetry. When Uncle came home at noon he gave me six dollars in payment of last term,
and a dollar to pay my fare.

After dinner, I went down to the cars. Got a ticket to Paris & the ride was pleasant, but when I
reached Paris, the difficulties began. It was storming fearfully, and right in my face.

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Dec 31/1863
But I determined to face it, and walked to Brantford. At the School House I stopped, took off
my plaid, and rolled it, my skates and parcel all together and carried them thus. After passing the
half-way house, I tried another plan. Rolling the plaid and parcel into one tight bundle, I strung
my skates on the straps and then fastened the straps round the bundle, so as to make it tight,
threw it over my shoulder and thus trudged along till I got home. I felt very tired for the snow
was deep and the walking bad. However I got along all right. And now it is night. One hour
more and 1864 will have dawned upon us, God grant, to pass more pleasantly. In looking over
the list of letters received during 1863, I find that they were as follows: Jany 6, Feb.9, March 10,
April 2, May 6, June 5, July 3, August 12, Sept 7, Oct 6, Nov 8, Dec 4 – in all Seventy eight.
And now the old year is dead, and the New Year is born; poor old 1863, it has been a year of
mingled joy and sorrow, a year in which I found many friends but lost my love. God forgive me
for 1863.

GO TO 1864

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