She Ascertained.

Young Lady (reading report of urinary examination): "Doctor, what are urates?" Doctor: "Five dollars per visit."-Med. Record

A Practical Use for Hypnotism.

"Mammy," said pickaninny Jim, "I's gwine to be one or dese hypnotizers." "Whut's dem?" "You look somebody in de eye, an' he des nach'ly goes ter sleep." "Well, don't you go was'in' yoh time. Dah's sleepfulness nuff in dis here worl' an-," she paused suddenly, and after a moment of thought added: "Jimmy, does you 'margin you could do dat to a chicken?"

A Specialist.

Jones: "Why do you call that Pullman porter 'Doctor'?" Smith: "Why, because he has attended so many berths."-Cornell Widow