"Why marriage is prove a failure"

Nine-tenths of the unhappy marriages are the result of green human calves being allowed to run at large in the society pastures with-out any yolks on them.

They marry and have children before they do mustaches? They are fathers of twins before they have two pairs of pants, and the little girls they marry are as old as their grandmothers in scheming.

Occasionally one of the gosling marriages turns out all right, but it is a clear case of lack.

If there was a law against young galoots sparking before they have cut all their teeth I suppose the little cusses would evade it in some way, but there ought to be a sentiment against it.

It is time enough for these young bantams to think of finding a pallet when they have raised money enough to buy a bundle of laths to build a hen-house.

But they see a girl that looks cunning, and they begin to think there is not enough to go around, and they begin to get their work in real spry; and before they are aware of the sanctity of the marriage relation they are hitched for life, and before they own a cook stove or a bed stead, they have to get up in the night and go after a doctor, so frightened they run themselves out of breath and abuse the doctor because he does not run too.

And when the doctor gets there there's not enough linen in the house to wrap up a doll baby. It is a shame and a disgrace.