SUNDAY, JUNE 19, 1870.

Mother and I went out to town this morning to meeting but ma did not feel able to go after all. She has taken a very bad cold. But I went. Another one of God's own days has past but alas! I cannot render a good account of its precious moments. I have not spent it altogether with an eye{?} single to His glory. I have squandered God's own time to no purpose and the remembrance of my time is grievous unto me. I feel that I have forfeited my right to that blessing which God in His infinite mercy & goodness has promised me.

MONDAY, JUNE 20, 1870.

The boys are still hauling out manure. I have been taking a load of wheat to Dover. I turned it into Mr. Halls store-house and intend to take an open receipt for it until I see fit to sell. This has been a day of the severest conflict, and even yet the storm is not over. I have endeavored to flee to the Rock of my Salvation but my efforts have apparently been in vain. I have not yet the witness of my acceptance, and I am almost in dispair with refference to the blessing which has been so long the desire of my heart.

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